Original Character Creation

[bananamustang]

Do me! Do me! I've only "finished" the first two, but the first one is the only one that has real information. I'm trying to get the second one through RP story.
(They also have no place in MLP, I guess)
http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=1936
[/quote]

Isterdyul :

Color: He shouldn't change color to express his emotions. It makes no sense... this is what body language and facial expressions are for. Granted he is a unicorn, but none of the ponies in the show changed their color for emotional reasons.

Communication: I can deal with this only if it is his special talent. You never said one or I missed it.

Character summary: His past seems to involve too big of a story that influences a lot of the world and events of MLP:FiM. This is ok for fan fic and alternate universe RP. However, more main stream RP rooms might not like the idea because of the involving of major players in the world.

Vaeinceurth:

This is too grim for the setting of MLP:FiM. Hate isn't something that would be used for any of the show's characters. I don't even recall them using that word at all for anything in the show. And there really isn't any pony that is demented.

There isn't much on these to go on. Keep working on them though. If anything they would be good for AU or fan fic.

[bananamustang]

well i did say being mothered... being cared for... Madness thinks everything secretly hates him, like The Well, so when he is shown affection or is mothered he becomes very confused = so love/kindness/caring = defeating him, and all 3 are very easy to do, ether way im revising him... he will have the coldest... darkest.. most horrible background ever... you will cry for him when you read it....  more or less m taking entity out of the picture, and im making sure he is great at deception, he will never truly trust anypony ether, but he will still be pretty random from time to time, not all the time now, BUT time to time,

Real quick...  "he will have the coldest... darkest.. most horrible background ever..." <- that already tells me I am not going to like it because it will not match the setting of which I am trying to explain of what the MLP:FiM world is.

[The Wandering Magus]

I know i already got critiques for other chars, but even though they're gm chars could you review Fancy (yeah, from the show, sorry, but was part of a setting) and Bloodblade?

[Equestrian]

Do me! Do me! I've only "finished" the first two, but the first one is the only one that has real information. I'm trying to get the second one through RP story.
(They also have no place in MLP, I guess)
http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=1936

Isterdyul :

Color: He shouldn't change color to express his emotions. It makes no sense... this is what body language and facial expressions are for. Granted he is a unicorn, but none of the ponies in the show changed their color for emotional reasons.

Communication: I can deal with this only if it is his special talent. You never said one or I missed it.

Character summary: His past seems to involve too big of a story that influences a lot of the world and events of MLP:FiM. This is ok for fan fic and alternate universe RP. However, more main stream RP rooms might not like the idea because of the involving of major players in the world.

Vaeinceurth:

This is too grim for the setting of MLP:FiM. Hate isn't something that would be used for any of the show's characters. I don't even recall them using that word at all for anything in the show. And there really isn't any pony that is demented.

There isn't much on these to go on. Keep working on them though. If anything they would be good for AU or fan fic.

Color: I had a reason before, but I forgot it. I'll remove it.
Character summary: My OC didn't influence the world. The only thing that happened is that the griffins rebuilt their city and they now hate the OC. (Is that okay? ) The only major player I can see is the nation itself. As I continue the story, it's going to show that he lost connection with them and settled in the small town of Ponyville.

Voice: His talent is realization and correction. When he finds problems with things, he tries to fix them. His regular voice isn't perfect, so he corrected it with magic. He does speak with his normal voice, but that's when he loses focus.

and Vae - right now, he's a villain, I'm going to make him a happy pony longing for acceptance (without the help of the RP section ) He comes out of the forest and will slowly be reintegrated to society

((Did anything make anything better - and Isterdyul is supposed to be a bit other-worldly, but can he "fit" in the world of MLP?))

Thanks for the review

((I should've finished writing it before I gave it to you ))

[Night Pony]

I've been following this thread for some time and you give out some nice reviews.So I'd like to hear your opinion on my OCs.
Night Shine and Moon Violet
They weren't designed for RP.Also I want to apologize for any mistakes in the text that I've made.

[Lord of Madness]

I see your point Bananamustang but i find that not everypony ever born ever in the MLP univers has had a nice life, take pinkie pies background, very sad, all day every day, all grey,BUT it got better, AND the Changelings, im pretty sure none one of them has a truly good life, ether way, it seems while most ponies from the show are all full of happy times, some have some very sad backgrounds. also take accord to the Discord story before the sisters came, very sad and horrible, Nightmaremoon stuck on the moon in an nearly eternal loneliness, VERY sad, i cant even imagine being alone from another living thing for more than a couple days. A BIG ON is Doodle Donkey who searched his whole life. He was sad for his whole life before being finally happy. and Candace who looked abused, starved and alone in the cave she was imprisoned in, ether way 9/10 have a nice story im the 10th whose story will be in fact sad, Also im afraid to see Screw looses background... must be pretty messed up to wind up thinking your a dog , Please know that for me, just because Madness does not have a rainbow happy background, does not mean he does not belong in their universe.

Thou i am sorry you wont like my OC's background because its sadder than a normal ponies.

P.S. sorry for being annoying on this topic  i just thought what i just said right now made a lot of sense, and im done with my talking on this subject now  dont want it to turn into anything of a nusense anyway. AND im helping You teach everyone the right way to do tings by correcting me where i may be wrong 

[Morning Glory]

ether way 9/10 have a nice story im the 10th whose story will be in fact sad,

This is true, but the problem is, many many people create characters who are that 10th. If you read through the OC board, almost every character has some tragedy or plight in their life. I think this is an attempt to make their character unique and memorable, but of course it backfires, because everyone has the same idea. It's easy to characterize a pony that has a sad life, or a special power- But that's all their character ends up being. They are just what makes them special, not what makes them a personality. I think it's much more challenging (and more fun) to write a character that lives a normal life, has a normal job and normal friends. Sure everyone has problems and struggles, but most of them are on a much smaller scale. You have to make them a real character, with flaws and skills that are relatable and realistic. It makes them more "human" more dense and complex. People are, in reality, much more attracted to characters like these.

Look at Ponyville. Most of the ponies there are believable, regular ponies. They are bakers, or flower sellers, or carpenters. Even the mane six aren't that super special aside from being the Elements of Harmony. They're a farmer, a dressmaker, a pastry chef, a wildlife caretaker, and a weather pony, aside from Twilight Sparkle. They have a few things they are good at, and a few things they are not so good at. They are most like a real person, with real flaws and hence real personalities. When you get into the realm of wildly powerfully demi-gods, or super sad, super tragic pity-party ponies it makes your character seem petty and uninteresting, no matter how much you pile on the extras.

We like the mane six because we can connect with them. They're not  super special sunflowers (well Twilight is a little, but aside from that)- they're just everyday ponies who got thrown into a wild adventure. What makes Fluttershy lovable is watching her character grow and learn and struggle. She faces her fears and sometimes comes up against challenges she can't face. We love Rarity because she is like people we know (or may even be ourselves). She's flawed in her vanity and her aversion to physical labor. But she makes up for it, not with magical powers, not by being exceptionally special or unique, but by being a real likeable character. She's generous and thoughtful and hardworking when she needs to be. She's complex not because of her past, or her magical powers, but because she's a real personality.



Wheeew! Sorry. I got going there and couldn't stop. I don't want to say that you can't make a successful character out of a not-so-normal pony (or that 10th pony). But it's much more difficult to make them likeable and real. Equestria isn't a world of tragedy. Sure, bad things happen, but there's a supportive community, a benevolent monarch, and magical powers to counteract a lot of suffering that might otherwise happen.  Equestria appears peaceful, plentiful and polite. Sure they have their fair share of death, disease and turmoil, but not as much as many of the characters I see in the OC board would suggest.

Maybe I'm wrong, or maybe I'm assuming too much, but this is how I see it.

[Lord of Madness]

NICE POINT Morning Glory ^3^ but dont worry new Madness has nothing really special other than he has a guild and is insane, he naturally would have a sad or negative backstory in order to make him the kind of insane that i want 

P.S. i dont REALLY have the most darkest saddest story ever, but its just interesting enough to catch the eye BUT not soo interesting that it steals the show

[Azure Dusk]

The tragedy in Azure's backstory is a reference to the first RP I was ever a part of. I like to keep it around because I'm sentimental like that,

[Vick McBread]

a Constructive Critic? HOW RARE!
You can find our OC in our singnature below
Thank you!

[bananamustang]

Well... you all seem to have my work cut out for me. It will take me a while to review all of them. In the mean time I ask that you do not argue here. This is a courtesy that I am providing to help you with your OC's so that you can have something that can belong in the world of MLP:FiM or a majority of RPs out there. If I see a problem happening I will just ignore the post.

Again you do not have to send your requests here you can PM me.

[Cutiebone]

Well... you all seem to have my work cut out for me. It will take me a while to review all of them. In the mean time I ask that you do not argue here. This is a courtesy that I am providing to help you with your OC's so that you can have something that can belong in the world of MLP:FiM or a majority of RPs out there. If I see a problem happening I will just ignore the post.

Again you do not have to send your requests here you can PM me.

*hugs*

[Vick McBread]

*hugs*

indeed
And you may PM us too.

[Lusterless Nova]

Hi. If you have some free time could you check out my second character? My friend made him and now he wants to know what you think of him.
Please check out Sky Blaze's profile. It's in my signature.

[bananamustang]

  My response didn't post! 

Guess i have to rewrite it.

[bananamustang]

I've been following this thread for some time and you give out some nice reviews.So I'd like to hear your opinion on my OCs.
Night Shine and Moon Violet
They weren't designed for RP.Also I want to apologize for any mistakes in the text that I've made.

Take 2:

Night Shine:

Race: Alicorn. Some rooms would have an issue with this. Mainly because they feel Mary Sue about it. I say it's genetics. If two Earth Ponies can have a Pegasus and a Unicorn as kids then I say it should be possible to have an Alicorn.

Friends: I am sure that there would be at least somepony up at night some point. Not everypony is a day pony. Luna being a teacher seems nice, but the issue is that she is too young and is learning things herself. With that note if you manage to have a story of that you can have the lessons or training be behind the scenes. I always felt that a bit of character development even while no rp was happening was a nice way to keep the character fresh and moving along.

Ability: What exactly is her special talent? You say flying and magic is, but there are many different types out there. There is stunt flying and racing. There is healing magic and elemental. Find a nice balance between the two and also make sure that even though she is talented in it she can fail or mess something up some time.

Moon Violet:

This is honestly the most realistic pony of the two. I like the way she learned of her talent. As well as her care for her sister. To make a cute twist make her the younger pony (more younger. like almost a year).

Her ability seems to match that which is the setting of MLP:FiM.

If you use them in an RP at first have them both on and enjoying each other. Moon seems like the one to reach out a bit to other ponies first. If you play a long time or are able to toy around with things play one of the girls during the day and one at night.

These are very good characters and I hope you can flourish them out to fun siblings.

The small things that need to be changed or tweaked are really just minor and can be fixed as you feel them out in an RP or even a Fan Fic.

[The Wandering Magus]

I know i already got critiques for other chars, but even though they're gm chars could you review Fancy (yeah, from the show, sorry, but was part of a setting) and Bloodblade?

[Chautauquan]

I dunnae want to tax the overwhelmed and esteemed bananamustang, but wouldn't mind a critique as well, if possible...

http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=2888.0

[Night Pony]

I've been following this thread for some time and you give out some nice reviews.So I'd like to hear your opinion on my OCs.
Night Shine and Moon Violet
They weren't designed for RP.Also I want to apologize for any mistakes in the text that I've made.

Take 2:

Night Shine:

Race: Alicorn. Some rooms would have an issue with this. Mainly because they feel Mary Sue about it. I say it's genetics. If two Earth Ponies can have a Pegasus and a Unicorn as kids then I say it should be possible to have an Alicorn.

Friends: I am sure that there would be at least somepony up at night some point. Not everypony is a day pony. Luna being a teacher seems nice, but the issue is that she is too young and is learning things herself. With that note if you manage to have a story of that you can have the lessons or training be behind the scenes. I always felt that a bit of character development even while no rp was happening was a nice way to keep the character fresh and moving along.

Ability: What exactly is her special talent? You say flying and magic is, but there are many different types out there. There is stunt flying and racing. There is healing magic and elemental. Find a nice balance between the two and also make sure that even though she is talented in it she can fail or mess something up some time.

Moon Violet:

This is honestly the most realistic pony of the two. I like the way she learned of her talent. As well as her care for her sister. To make a cute twist make her the younger pony (more younger. like almost a year).

Her ability seems to match that which is the setting of MLP:FiM.

If you use them in an RP at first have them both on and enjoying each other. Moon seems like the one to reach out a bit to other ponies first. If you play a long time or are able to toy around with things play one of the girls during the day and one at night.

These are very good characters and I hope you can flourish them out to fun siblings.

The small things that need to be changed or tweaked are really just minor and can be fixed as you feel them out in an RP or even a Fan Fic.

Thanks for the opinion.The thing is i haven't figured exactly her magic nor her skills.I always liked hybrid classes in games(who use magic and sword skills at the same time) and i figured to make night somewhat like them but flying and magic.
When making Night she was not designed for RPing so the fact that she is an alicorn should bother anypony(except the alicorn haters which are many.)
Also as i understand you think Luna is the teacher.No her dream is to become Luna's student but she is not,so she learns things herself and practices at night.
Thanks again for the review.

[bananamustang]

Sorry I have been busy again. I will make an attempt to clear out the requests during the weekend. If you see me on the irc just give me a poke to see if I am free. If I am and am not working on it just remind me.