Original Character Creation

[bananamustang]

Don't worry I didn't forget you all. I am working on Morning Glory's OCs now. 

[Gracie Sky]

No doubt its going to be something more or less closer to the review I gave them.

I also have another OC for you to sink your teeth into when you are caught up. Hopefully you're not getting overwhelmed with these.

[bananamustang]

No doubt its going to be something more or less closer to the review I gave them.

I also have another OC for you to sink your teeth into when you are caught up. Hopefully you're not getting overwhelmed with these.

OH DEAR CELESTIA! NOT ANOTHER ONE!!

No its all good.

[bananamustang]

I'd love to have mine critiqued. Sorry they're so long.

http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=470.0

I'd love to have mine critiqued. Sorry they're so long.

http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=470.0

Ok... sorry if the reviews are out of order. I am trying to take them as quickly and best I can when I have a free moment.

Morning Glory: I like this character because of the fact that she has so much to her personality which could make an interesting character in a long story arc. Her talent should have more of a story to it. How did she get it? Is it magic based? When did she realize it was a powerful tool when she used to its full potential?

Those items would shed light on her abilities so that if you RP with her other players will have an idea as to how to react to the things she does. Also consider that her ability might not persuade everypony every time.

Also I like the name swap with the fact that her name is pretty opposite her personality. I think of the flower and how pleasant and nice it is, but reading about her makes her seem like she isn't as nice as her name makes her to be.

Pen Bitten:

I like the way this character is put together so I really have nothing to say on this one. He is fairly normal interms of the show and it's character format.

Nightingale:

I like her conflict. Striving for perfection, but cant get over her fear of singing in public.I can see a bit of The Taming of the Shew here.

Merriweather:

This is a nice example of a character with a personal issue on a physical level that tries to over come the problem and helps others.

Coppershine:

This is a nice way of saying that gender doesnt matter to what you do in life.

I had to change up the way I was doing this for your OC's because they all are really good. I have no issues with them, but most of them seem to have a socialising issue. Try not to start a pattern when making OC's. Also add a specific talent for what they do. Nightingale, Pen, and Morning Glory all seem pretty obvious, but Merri and Copper might need to be spelled out better or narrowed down a bit.

[Morning Glory]

I'd love to have mine critiqued. Sorry they're so long.

http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=470.0

I'd love to have mine critiqued. Sorry they're so long.

http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=470.0

Ok... sorry if the reviews are out of order. I am trying to take them as quickly and best I can when I have a free moment.

Morning Glory: I like this character because of the fact that she has so much to her personality which could make an interesting character in a long story arc. Her talent should have more of a story to it. How did she get it? Is it magic based? When did she realize it was a powerful tool when she used to its full potential?

Those items would shed light on her abilities so that if you RP with her other players will have an idea as to how to react to the things she does. Also consider that her ability might not persuade everypony every time.

Also I like the name swap with the fact that her name is pretty opposite her personality. I think of the flower and how pleasant and nice it is, but reading about her makes her seem like she isn't as nice as her name makes her to be.

Pen Bitten:

I like the way this character is put together so I really have nothing to say on this one. He is fairly normal interms of the show and it's character format.

Nightingale:

I like her conflict. Striving for perfection, but cant get over her fear of singing in public.I can see a bit of The Taming of the Shew here.

Merriweather:

This is a nice example of a character with a personal issue on a physical level that tries to over come the problem and helps others.

Coppershine:

This is a nice way of saying that gender doesnt matter to what you do in life.

I had to change up the way I was doing this for your OC's because they all are really good. I have no issues with them, but most of them seem to have a socialising issue. Try not to start a pattern when making OC's. Also add a specific talent for what they do. Nightingale, Pen, and Morning Glory all seem pretty obvious, but Merri and Copper might need to be spelled out better or narrowed down a bit.

Thanks very much for this critique. I realize it was a lot of work and I appreciate your dedication.

I like what you have to say about MG- I do need to flesh out her talent a little more. My idea for her name and talent is that it related to her earth pony mother, as flower names and earthy talents are more the realm of earth ponies.

Merri is almost a ponysona to be honest, but I agree her talent needs more exploration as well.

Coppershine is being developed in RP, and once that comes along more I'll edit her a little.

You're right, all my characters struggle with socializing. I never noticed that before but it's a good point. Maybe because I do myself? I'm not sure why I did that. Something to look into and explore.

I'm so glad you started this thread and that you put in the effort to offer clear, honest advice. Thank you again, and good luck with the other evaluations you have to do.

[bananamustang]

Hi. If you have some free time could you check out my second character? My friend made him and now he wants to know what you think of him.
Please check out Sky Blaze's profile. It's in my signature.

This is where you draw a fine line between OP and creatively making something new.

If he is being used in an RP then his interaction or life with the mane six has to be cut back or taken away completely. Working for Sweet Apple Acres and racing Rainbow Dash doesn't seem like it would work because it would affect the daily lives of the mane cast. Part of the idea for some RP rooms is that their times coincide with the show.

You attempted to create a new race pretty much, which is fine, but you made him over powered. The special talent isn't really a talent. that seems more like a special attack, but it is an OP attack. If I understand that right it says he gets to mach 1 (yet still loses to RD in races) and is engulfed with flames that can make him grow 5 times in size (because of the flames) and cause and explosion. This is obviously OP.

A talent is something ponies do on a regular basis. Art, cooking, singing, acting, writing, specific magic use, acrobatics, etc.

The additional info shows your attempt to try to give him restrictions to not seem or be OP, but it makes it worse. To not take damage after reaching an intense speed and a catastrophic explosion seems a bit much. To fly for almost non-stop is also quite a bit much, because even RD needs to take a break.

This is another case of a non-unicorn using magic in some way. It might not seem it, but that is the case for the character. He is engulfed in flames and he isn't a dragon.

You can work around somethings if you give him a detailed enough back story that works but there is a lot that has to be removed or changed.

[bananamustang]

I dunnae want to tax the overwhelmed and esteemed bananamustang, but wouldn't mind a critique as well, if possible...

http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=2888.0

OK so he can't learn medicine but he finds out his talent is studying. Change that so the practical side of the medical field wasn't something he was able to do. If that is what you meant then you need to word it slightly different.

If anything you can have him be a historian or a teacher or something. I can see a few funny moments coming through with this OC because he would know so much and try to be friendly to others possibly pointing out when they are wrong with something.

Overall this is a good humble pony and he needs just little work to fit in to FiM.

[bananamustang]

a Constructive Critic? HOW RARE!
You can find our OC in our singnature below
Thank you!

Occupation: Teacher should be older a bit to give a sign saying that he has learned things and is well enough at the point in life that he can teach. 22 would be fine, but not for a high school.

As I said in the skype call with you: a lot needs to be changed. Your character at this point is OP and is all over the place. If you are trying to created a ponysona of yourself you need to ponify a lot of things and keep a lot of your actual private life out of the pony. A lot of the idea of your pony or OC is to play a game or create a means of escape from the toils of life to another world for a brief time.

After looking through the profile this isn't really an OC this is more about the person than the pony.

Sorry, but there isn't really anything here I can truly review.

[bananamustang]

I think I got everyone that was waiting. If not let me know. For those that probably didn't get the response they were thinking: don't forget that my input is for rooms and places with strict rules or to make your character more show friendly. A lot of what some of you did is very creative and also very impressive. 

[Lusterless Nova]

i think i was somewhere but i don't mind. I know that you are a busy... colt.
I currently have 3 Oc's. You already gave me your critique about my main OC Lusterless nova and if you want you can do so again.
But what i really would like to know is what you think about my other 2 OC's. Sky Blaze and Illumina Nova.
http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=3109

[Sponk]

i think i was somewhere but i don't mind. I know that you are a busy... colt.
I currently have 3 Oc's. You already gave me your critique about my main OC Lusterless nova and if you want you can do so again.
But what i really would like to know is what you think about my other 2 OC's. Sky Blaze and Illumina Nova.
http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=3109

He critiqued Sky Blaze. Didn't you see it? I think he did..
`

[Lusterless Nova]

Whoops. My apologies.
In that case is only one left. Please tell me what you think about Illumina Nova.

Spoiler: show

Hi. If you have some free time could you check out my second character? My friend made him and now he wants to know what you think of him.
Please check out Sky Blaze's profile. It's in my signature.

This is where you draw a fine line between OP and creatively making something new.

If he is being used in an RP then his interaction or life with the mane six has to be cut back or taken away completely. Working for Sweet Apple Acres and racing Rainbow Dash doesn't seem like it would work because it would affect the daily lives of the mane cast. Part of the idea for some RP rooms is that their times coincide with the show.

You attempted to create a new race pretty much, which is fine, but you made him over powered. The special talent isn't really a talent. that seems more like a special attack, but it is an OP attack. If I understand that right it says he gets to mach 1 (yet still loses to RD in races) and is engulfed with flames that can make him grow 5 times in size (because of the flames) and cause and explosion. This is obviously OP.

A talent is something ponies do on a regular basis. Art, cooking, singing, acting, writing, specific magic use, acrobatics, etc.

The additional info shows your attempt to try to give him restrictions to not seem or be OP, but it makes it worse. To not take damage after reaching an intense speed and a catastrophic explosion seems a bit much. To fly for almost non-stop is also quite a bit much, because even RD needs to take a break.

This is another case of a non-unicorn using magic in some way. It might not seem it, but that is the case for the character. He is engulfed in flames and he isn't a dragon.

You can work around somethings if you give him a detailed enough back story that works but there is a lot that has to be removed or changed.

Thank you. I will give my friend this and maybe he will edit him.

[The Wandering Magus]

I know i already got critiques for other chars, but even though they're gm chars could you review Fancy (yeah, from the show, sorry, but was part of a setting) and Bloodblade?

please?

[Gracie Sky]

*slaps another pony profile on top of the pile*

Terra Rose

Go for it, tiger.

[PrincessButton]

Bananaaa, on Skype you said you'd look at mine. 
I added more information to Moonbeam and finished the information for Breezy. The link is in my signature, when you get the chance. 

[The Wandering Magus]

I know i already got critiques for other chars, but even though they're gm chars could you review Fancy (yeah, from the show, sorry, but was part of a setting) and Bloodblade?

please?

Descriptions and art of my OCs here: http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=2636

[Zygrograxgra]

I am so going to regret doing this.
http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=3587.0
There, Shorn.
His species is meant to be dangerous and powerful beyond belief when it comes to predator stuff, so it's less him that's OP and more just what he is. I know he's OP. He's for a fic really, and I made him the way he is for plot purposes & giggles. Even his generic weird thing!
Also, this post made me realize something.
There is not a single really neutral face, the closes is the uh huh one.