Lollipop Swirl

Started by PaintedStar, 2014 Nov 28, 15:34:34

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(This image is not entirely mine. I shamelessly copied a picture of Rarity (I think...), if you google her, the picture will be on the first page. I do not even try to claim this as mine. As soon as I'll have the time, I'll draw a proper picture of her, but right now this was the only presentable picture she was on that I found on my computer (Though you could find some doodles in my art thread))

Lollipop Swirl is a friendly young mare. She lives in Ponyville, in a small house near the edge of the town.  She lives in the very same house she was born in. Her mother was a humble and kind earth pony mare. She was quite simple, for she's been raised in the countryside. She taught Lollipop how to be a calm and gentle pony at all times, and how to control her anger. They used to take long walks in the nearby meadows together, or talk about their lives in the cozy warmth of their home, depending on the weather. Her father, on the other hoof, was a born adventurer. He was a merchant. He was rarely at home, most of his time exploring lands far away from his family. But every time he returned, he brought back money and treasure. He would tell Lollipop Swirl many amazing stories of lands that have rarely ever been seen by pony eyes. He also gave her candy from different parts of the worlds. She enjoyed these treats very much, not only for them always being special, but for they meant her father to her. Lollipop grew fond of all kinds of candy over the years, and one day, she decided to try to make her own candy, so that she could give something special to her father when he came back. She managed to do so. The first ever candy she created herself was a lollipop. That was the time when she got her cutie mark.
Years have passed since then. She is now and adult. Her parents have moved away to the faraway town of Appleloosa. She lives alone in her home now, and sends letters to her parents every day, getting replies for every single one of them. Her parents visit her quite often, and tell her about their new home, and about the ponies living there. Lollipop, who never has left Ponyville before, has never seen Appleloosa. She really wants to travel there once, but she isn't quite comfortable with the thought of leaving the safe and familiar streets of her hometown yet.

Lollipop, as I said before is rather friendly. She is also very trusting and talkative. She loves playing games with little fillies. She is often found playing hide-and-seek or tag with them in the park. She's pretty gullible and doesn't have a too bright mind. She also tends to spill others' secrets, even if she doesn't mean to. She kind of clingy, and can be very overprotective over small fillies. She is scared of many things, like darkness, water, spiders, storms and darkness, just to mention a few examples.

Her passion is sweets, any kind of them. She loves lollipops, marshmallows, gummy-bears and all other sweet treats equally. She is planning to open a small candy store in Ponyville.


Ahmahgaw, she's adorable. * o * Very nice profile, although I think proper spacing between paragraphs would it a more attractive read.


Thank you for the good advice. i'll break this up to smaller paragraphs some other time, I'm too bored now.... ^^"

Gracie Sky

This is the kind of OC I like reading about. A simple pony with simple tastes. Quaint without being dull. A description of the character that isn't long, but still manages to be informative and covers the critical details about the character. An appearance that isn't complex, but still visually appealing. I'd like to see more OCs following this style!

All that almost distracted me from the fact that I critique OCs. The only thing I'm going to say is her name matches her cutie mark. This would unfortunately demote her to background pony in the Equestrian universe. Then again, if that's not an issue, than she is the perfect background pony!
Character Critique Thread

Have your OC fairly and honestly evaluated!

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