Eclypse

[chaosreaper722]

Race- Alidragon
Gender- male
Age- 17
Fur- black
Mane- blue and white
Eye- blue
Cutie Mark- wolfs paw.
Represents- tamer of animals, specialty wolves
Likes-music, comics, and being around friends
Dislikes- mean, prejudice people
Personality- funny, weird, and all around great guy

Story- I was a simple unicorn with an appetite for...I don't know, something more. I felt like I was just one out of many, jut another pony in this wide wide world. One day I was going for a walk in the badlands and after about thirty minutes of walking I came across a very very old and very ill  elder dragon. He asked me "What do you crave in this world?" I'm not sure why, I guess he was just curious. I said "I crave to be different, not like everypony else. I want to be something more than just another pony" He said "I will grant you that" and with that he burst into smoke and disappeared. I fell unconscious and woke up several hours later to realized that I was in the air with dragon wings. I knew that I could not return to my old life. I wanted to be different, but why did he give me this? And how?. I researched for days on end and I found out that in olden times that when dragons were nearing the end of their lifespan they would either turn into a egg and be reborn or they would transfer their life-force into another creature so that their spirit will live on. So now what iI have devoted my life to discovering how to use my new abilities in this crazy world.

[Shadow Mare]

i said i crave to be different not like everypony else.



L O L



You want to be different but you become an Alicorn??? Everyone wants their ocs to be Alicorns...

[GlassMirror]

Interesting....

So to sum it up, he found a old dragon, and the dragon had the ability to give him wings, thus making him a dragon - alicorn---
Wait, a dragon alicorn? 

[Little Star]

You want to be different but you become an Alicorn??? Everyone wants their ocs to be Alicorns...

Wow. That's just flat out rude.

[Zsaszz]

I see the concept interesting, I just think that you should fill the story a little bit more, to make it more deep, that and adding an img, and the Elder dragon wish before fading away thing is very good.

[-ReiMar-]

I'm getting tempted to make another OC. Just to brighten up Alicorn fields of LoE)) X)

Post Merge
Oh, and add a pic) Pictures usually help people with liking new OCs) ^ ^ Makes eyes happy)

[TheCreeper3]

Remind me to help you get that pic up tomorrow, I'll be there around the usual time

[Naura]

You want to be different but you become an Alicorn??? Everyone wants their ocs to be Alicorns...

Think of it as a pony's veiw, it didn't say it wanted to be a alicorn or something powerful, just different, and what it gets from the ponys veiw, is amazing.
I think of this as a creative way of becoming a alicorn, doesn't sound really weird, or really cliche.

[BarnOwl]

Tip: use capitals. It will make you look more mature and it's easier to read with capitals for some strange reason.

[MrEmu]

Hmm...
I won't lie, my opinion on this you might not like...so if you don't want to see it I'll put it in a spoiler.

Spoiler: My opinion on the whole thing • show

Take this the right way, but Shadow mare is kinda right, YES she said it rather rudely, But Alicorn OC's don't stand out much, neither do Dragon ponies and ESPECIALLY a mix of them.

The idea of the story is cool, I actually like it a lot! But it doesn't seem to fit in the MLP world and genre very well, maybe it'd be better for your own world and stories you make up?

Making him Luna's apprentice seems a bit weird for the fact that we never saw him in the show, Luna JUST was freed from the moon and has only been back for a little less then a year. (I could show the tie frame stuff but...ehhh...too lazy)

So all in all it's a cool OC, just doesn't seem to fit in the MLP genre very well.
If this has hurt your feelings at all then I'm sorry, I mean no harm, but to simply give a honest fair critique to your OC, though maybe Gracie sky would be better...heh.

There ya go...

[chaosreaper722]

Hey guys, I know I've been gone for awhile, but I'm back now and I've made some changes. Let me know what you think 

[TheCreeper3]

Welcome back, my friend