Quiller's OC (Quill the Pegasus pony)

[Quiller]

Quill is a Pegasus pony, adopted by Earth ponies he helps grow and maintain a Mulberry orchard. His ability to fly from tree to tree and harvest the berries helped his family gain wealth. This wasn't the case at the time, Quill had a huge appetite and at a young age was often caught eating most of the berries thus cutting the families profit. As years passed he outgrew it and helped his family earn back what he had.........eaten in the past. Quill is very creative and is sometimes found with a quill and paper sitting under a Mulberry tree writing stories and poems, being the only Pegasus in his school, life for him was rough as most of the other fillies and colts were nothing but unicorns and earth ponies. Feeling alone and left out he hardly socialized and was found by himself laying on clouds or flying around far away from his peers. As he got older he had earned enough bits to travel to Cloudsdale, after saying good bye to his family he promised he would always return to the farm on special days. (such as hearts and hooves day, hearth warming day, and happy bunny day) Quill now lives at Cloudsdale, and helps with the daily tasks with clearing the skies and controlling the weather in Ponyville. Quill isn't without his faults, his temper has known to get the best of him and at times has caused him to either make rash actions or just flat out get him into trouble, his temper doesn't lead him to harm his fellow ponies, It can't be said the same for the property damage he causes when he loses his temper. He has broken statues, fence posts, and one case a roof. Once his temper is in check, he always takes responsibility for his actions and works to make things right. Quill is loved for his outgoing and up beat attitude he will always try to find the brighter side to situations even when the worst things have happened.

=Hope you get to see me in Equestria my fellow ponies! If you do find me, I'm mostly found in libraries or just chilling under a tree writing poems= 

=Thank you Weremetawolf for the info is this perhaps better? VVVV=

Name: Quill
Race: Pegasus
Gender: Male (Stallion)
Age: (not sure how the ponies age is defined) I'll say 20 {it's my age too /)>3<(\!}
Appearance: White coat, Black mane tipped with a hint of blue, tail is patterned the same way. (Pic if my OC in my profile, better detail)
Personality: Outgoing, hyper, and creative
Cutiemark: A Quill with a small ink trail from its tip.
Special Talent: Writes story and poems, and can make Quill's from any kind of feather. (including his own)
Likes: Berries lots and lots of berries!
Dislikes: Ponies with no sportsman ship, and cheaters.

[Weremetalwolf]

This is the OC section, thus this means that you should post a description of your OC. What you wrote, even if I like it, doesn't get at the reader enough informations about your OC like: What's his cutiemark? How does he look like? How old his him? and so on. I suggest you to describe your OC with something like this:

Name:
Race:
Gender:
Age:
Appearance: (you can post a pic of your oc or give a description)
Personality:
Cutiemark:
Special talent:
Likes:
Dislikes:
Backstory: (which you already did in your post)

[Gracie Sky]

Allow me to help clarify what you should aim for when introducing a character. The idea is for us to understand the character better; the rubric that was provided assisting with that to some degree. However, remeber they are only guidelines to help you get to understand your own character. It's important that you tell us, the readers, only what you want us to know about the character. I only bring this up because I find a few of the things you say about your character... irrelevant and unhelpful with getting to know who your OC is or something that should only be learned firsthand.

Anyways, there are a few flaws with the character in general I feel need to be brought to your attention. The first is his name, Quill. There is too close a relationship with his name to his cutie mark, which is a common mistake for beginners. The logic I'm following here is that ponies are named at birth, before they recieve a cutie mark. I find it conicidental that a pony would be given a name that represents what he or she is going to be good at even before they realize they will be good at it. A few ways to get around this is if it's expected of the pony at birth to be good at something, which I find unlikely for a pony from an orphanage (if he is from an orphanage, that is). Another way is if the pony changed his or her name after discovering his or her cutie mark, which normally isn't smiled upon. Nonetheless, I recommend a name or cutie mark change. If you would like help figuring out a good one, feel free to ask me and I'll hand you my suggestions.

I see that he went to a school with only Earth Ponies and Unicorns, and I frankly find that hard to believe. You'll either need to provide a reason why there were no Pegasi in this school, or find a different reason to have Quill prefer to be alone (which is, I'm guessing, the only reason why you had him attend such a school). Such an example that would allow such segregation would be something like a physcial limitation. "Only Pegasi can walk on Cloudsdale, so only Pegasi attend its school". If Pegasi just don't live in the area, you need to state that... and probably need to give a reason why that would be so.

His cutie mark is balanced and believable, I like the fact that he is into literature. Other than being commonly found with a quill, I would like to know how he aquired his cutie mark and exactly how good at writing he is. Just a small amount of information would do, so I can get the general idea of his skills. If you like, you could also include how he incorperates this talent in his everyday life, to give him a general sense of purpose in his community.

As far as his personality goes, I think you did an adequate job. I especially like how he enjoys pigging out on berries, which goes far to establish his individuality. I would avoid saying that he is without his faults, though. When you state it, I feel like you're implying that it wasn't already a given.

Lastly, his parents. It's your choice if you want to bring them up, but all your readers are going to be curious as to why he ended up being adopted. If the reason is irrelevant to the character, then there's no need to provide more than the bare minimum of details. But whatever you do, don't kill his real parents. If his parents are no longer alive, do not state it, do not imply it, avoid the subject.