Original Character - Astor

Started by Billow Pillow, 2013 Apr 04, 15:13:51

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Billow Pillow

2013 Apr 04, 15:13:51 Last Edit: 2013 Jul 29, 13:25:41 by Lyra Heartstrings
Name: Astor
Race: Unicorn
Gender: Female
Age: 19
Coat Colour: Whitish Pink
Mane/Tail Colour: Carmine
Eyes Colour: Mint
Likes: Exploring, flowers, birds, decorating, spring, spicy food, rain, and outdoors.
Dislikes: Closed spaces, sugary food, animals, swimming, and machines. (Fear)
Personality: Astor, despite being born into a high class lifestyle, has a very open-minded personality and a deep love for nature. She is a free spirited pony and enjoys exploring the world and experiencing new things. She becomes curious with new things and slowly learns the ways of having a equestrian pony life.
Being from a far away land, she often struggles with several language barriers, causing her to run into strange misunderstandings.  Often oblivious to her surroundings and how people truly feel, Astor can be seen as ignorant, or cruel.  But with a passionate heart, and deep desires she quickly tries to correct her mistakes. 
Undeterred from most common fears she becomes panicked when confronted by animals, but is not bothered by insects or birds.  She was born with no-sense of direction, and is bad at physical labor.  Overall she has a rather sophisticated personality, and she loves to decorate and design, especially with flowers.
Reference: Drawn by Anyasmash

History: Even as a young child Astor was highly curious about the outside world, noticing the signs early on her parents found it to be in her best interests to enclose her away from such curiosity until she got older, protecting her from the outside world and any uncivilized habits.  Astor was Raised to believe she was just like any other unicorn, Astor followed her parents orders obediently as they taught her how to act and behave properly with the help of a tutor.  Being from the 3rd noble family in the country her parents where often busy people and didn't always have time to take care of Astor or her younger sister, so instead they would hire servants to take care of the two fillies while they were gone. 
Overall Astor lived a rich but quiet life.  She studied every day and did everything her parents asked of her and became quite the mannerly child, Astor believed she was truly happy, but the truth is Astor didn't fully understand what it meant to be happy, and only knew what she was taught.  Astor desired only to make her parents happy, but what she was truly feeling was her own loneliness and desire to have fun.  Never was she able to understand the true joys of life and friendship she started becoming a prisoner in her own heart, making her nothing more than a obedient child, the kind her parents wanted.   As she grew older she began to understand the feelings within her heart but would reject them, and continued with this for most of her life. 
Cutie-mark Story: Write later
Senpai Notice me

LOE Craft: Here
My OC: Here
Dragon Cave Click Meow.



Cool drawing!

hope you continue the rest of her story! :P

Gracie Sky

That's... an awful lot of hair.

Also, this is the first time I've heard of another language being spoken in the land of ponies. What sort of language is it?
Character Critique Thread

Have your OC fairly and honestly evaluated!


Well, I can't critique an OC stated to be incomplete, but she looks interesting so far!  :] Especially her personality. Although we haven't seen any ponies speaking different languages, it's still possible considering that Twilight and her friends haven't really traveled that much.

Why do I get the feeling she'll trip over her own hair one day? XD

I want to know more about her cutie mark :3 Please write! But don't rush  X3

A link to my tumblr above!
Tiger's OC page. Should re-do it...

Billow Pillow

I appreciate all the kind comments! I actually finished her cutie-mark story before the character was even designed, my only problem now is trying to word well enough for people to understand.  She's tripped over her hair a few times, but she doesn't like me we go around talking about it. :P

Her native language is actually French.  Though according to "Applejack" she be speaking in fancy!  o_o

(Edit: Added the first part of her story, but i may fix a few things it's just a rough-draft)
Senpai Notice me

LOE Craft: Here
My OC: Here
Dragon Cave Click Meow.



*Flips a desk*

I'm just kidding, but my first OC was named Astor. I really like your's though. She's beautiful.  *-*
By Sulfur

Tumblr (SFW)

Dark Hooves

very well done Lyra

I wonder which RP she'll be used in.
<br /><br />everypony is capable of great good or great evil but everypony should be treated like their worth giving a chance<br /><br />My OCs. http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=6860.0

Gracie Sky

I find it highly likely that her parents were going to shelter and be overprotective of her regardless of whether she was the curious type or not. You might want to word it differently so that you don't pin the reason she was sheltered on her personality.

You should also make it clear what her parents wanted out of her. They were educating her for something, I'm guessing, but I don't know what they want her to be or what exactly they were teaching her. I don't even know what her parents do as a family in nobility. What do nobles even do? So far, I know there's Fancy Pants, who shops and parties all day with his limitless money, but yet I don't know where his income comes from. Maybe he's a fashion designer like Rarity, but that's just my best guess.

Other than that, I think you need to be more indirect with stating her character flaws. When you say she has yet to experience the joys of friendship, it's all too obvious where you want to take her development. Of course, if you wanted to make it obvious... I guess there's no problem here.

... and that is an awful lot of hair...
Character Critique Thread

Have your OC fairly and honestly evaluated!


She's a lot like Rainstorm! They HAVE to meet in RP!
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