Is a good OC Alicorn possible?

Started by Gracie Sky, 2012 Nov 27, 19:29:18

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Gracie Sky

Let's find out!


"I do believe you were supposed to come to work at 5:00, not 5:01."

Meet Indignia, the foremost authority of Equestrian Law. Many times, everypony gets along and it's obvious who is in the right. However, this isn't always the case and ponies argue and quarrel about who is right and who is wrong. If they are serious enough about it, Indignia is the final say on what is right or wrong by it's definition. She is the highest authority in the Equestrian courts and passes down judgements on mid to lower cases. Princess Celestia personally handles the most severe or most important of quarrels, although Indignia does help influence her decisions.

When she is not deciding who or what is right or wrong, she is performing her duty as guardian of a very important artifact. This artifact is known as the Cherish Scale, located in the Cherish Observatory atop Canterlot. The scale does nothing but measure the contentment of the Equestrian population. Should there be any significant discontentment across the land, the scale begins tipping, which indications only selected ponies, such as Indignia, can interpret. Her job is to maintain and decipher the readings of the scale, informing Princess Celestia should the signs of unhappiness be forecasted.

Indignia herself is a very black and white pony. There are only facts, everything else is an excuse, a weak justification. She is infamous for her deaf ears on details designed to rationalize against raw facts. She uses this sort of mentality when judging the right from the wrong, based on the Book of Equestrian Law. Most ponies who know or work under her fear her for her unrelentingly strict demeanor. Even in normal conversation, she is very unaccommodating to the concept of viewpoints that conflict with hers, which are based on absolute facts. As a result, is isn't seen smiling much and she doesn't have many acquaintances, just subordinates. Even the other Alicorns avoid speaking to her unless their job requires them to converse with her.

Her cutie mark is a scale, representing Truth and Justice.
Note that the Cherish Scale does not look like her cutie mark.

There you have it, my attempt at an Alicorn OC! Good? Bad? Something missing? Something could be improved? Everything check out? Thanks!
Character Critique Thread

Have your OC fairly and honestly evaluated!

Rad Thunder

I have a bias toward alicorns, but I'll let it slide to ask a question.
So...she's a lawyer? A judge? I don't quite get it.

Tiger

This is much better than most other alicorn OCs, since you're an OC critiquer.

I like how she doesn't really exploit any of her alicorn powers.

A link to my tumblr above!
Tiger's OC page. Should re-do it...

alexandas

SHES THE BEST anyway goo ja gracie, she has got to be the best lawyer I've ever seen.  But sometimes lawyers do end up lying, or exaggerating, so they can win.  All in all she's great! :D :nod:
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I'm probably not here, but If I am, call me moon rabbits.
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Gracie Sky

Quote from: Rad Thunder on 2012 Nov 27, 19:35:29
So...she's a lawyer? A judge? I don't quite get it.


I think judge would be more accurate, but she doesn't hand out punishment, she just clarifies who is right or wrong. Celestia does the punishing, if applicable.
Character Critique Thread

Have your OC fairly and honestly evaluated!

Rad Thunder

Quote from: Gracie Sky on 2012 Nov 27, 19:58:35
Quote from: Rad Thunder on 2012 Nov 27, 19:35:29
So...she's a lawyer? A judge? I don't quite get it.


I think judge would be more accurate, but she doesn't hand out punishment, she just clarifies who is right or wrong. Celestia does the punishing, if applicable.


((To the moon! ovO))

Ah I see.

Night Pony

The title makes me sad.  :c

Anyway it's a good OC.

I want to thank all of the artist that have drawn my OCs.
Night Shine and Moon Violet

Link

I like it, a nice OC with a defining character. My only problem is I don't really see the point of her being an alicorn, you know what I mean? I mean, maybe only alicorns can read her scales or something or the sort. But nevertheless, great work on this one, I'm a bit too scared to make my own alicorn OC, they're hard to do.  X3

Oh, and thanks again for your help with my OCs, I was brand new to this when making Silver, so it was really helpful to have your feedback.  ^-^
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The Wandering Magus

well, if you ignore the typical "OMC so overpowered" instinct reaction, the only other problem I see would be that there's no particular good reason for her to be an alicorn, as Link said.  I think the main negative would be being overpowered in all respects, though Alicorns do tend to be so, being effectively the most powerful of all races seen thus far innately.
(sorry Bakasan, chose this image)
Descriptions and art of my OCs here: http://legendsofequestria.com/forum/index.php?topic=2636
my art: http://legendsofequestria.com/forum/index.php?topic=298
visiting soldier sister, be back 8/12/2013

Morning Glory

I agree. While it works as a good OC because you designed her well, there's no good reason for her to be an alicorn. I understand the concept- I was considering attempting an alicorn that worked too, but I think unless there's a reason for her to be an alicorn, she shouldn't be one. I'd love to see an alicorn that did have a good justification and a solid character. This comes very close, but it's not quite there yet.

GoldenTerrabyte

How do you upload the pics? I want to do pics of mine but IDK how. I have 8.
I'm back

Midnight Breeze



Gracie Sky

Uh oh... it looks like I have some explaining to do. I guess I'll attempt a justification. I honestly took the time to develop her because of how I saw the other Alicorn OCs being looked down upon for being Alicorns. Granted, they may have not been the best of works, but it inspired me to challenge myself: a good Alicorn OC, if anypony can do it, I can!

Hmm... why does she have to be an Alicorn? Why does anypony need to be an Alicorn? We have Celestia, Cadence, Chrysalis (technically), and Luna, so far. From what I know about them, they are all Princesses and possess a uniquely specific magic, while their ability to fly normally takes a back seat. From this, I am to assume that only princesses of kingdoms have the right to be Alicorns.

She may not have royal ties... or she may! I cleverly avoid stating a background, because Alicorns don't have backgrounds. Cadence foalsitting Twilight is the most background we ever get, because they had to establish that silly dance routine the two do with each other.

Okay okay, assuming she has no royal ties, she still possesses a job and responsibility that commands far more respect and fear than I believe should be given to a normal pony... even important ponies! The highest ranking non-Alicorn, I believe is Blueblood, as a duke of some sort, being related to Celestia, according to Rarity. Indignia is basically the word of the law, she determines what is right and wrong, she oversees an artifact that reads the emotions of all of Equestria. I find her importance to be leagues above Blueblood, to the point where I can't really see her as a Unicorn being an appropriate fit.
Character Critique Thread

Have your OC fairly and honestly evaluated!

The Wandering Magus

The problem is that the only alicorns so far have been effectively goddesses, controlling or harnessing the Sun, the Moon and Love, respectively.

In essence, to make one's OC an alicorn is to make one's OC a goddess, which, after hearing the explanation, sounds accurate.  As I've said, if you wish to completely ignore the fact that she's a God-mode Mary Sue Royal All-Powerful character... then I suppose there's nothing to complain about.  Then again, the same could equally be said of other Alicorn OCs.

But the God-Mode Mary Sue Royal All-Powerful Character part is usually the stickler.
(sorry Bakasan, chose this image)
Descriptions and art of my OCs here: http://legendsofequestria.com/forum/index.php?topic=2636
my art: http://legendsofequestria.com/forum/index.php?topic=298
visiting soldier sister, be back 8/12/2013

alexandas

........ NO ......... I OBJECT to what other ponies say (did I ever mention I have an argumentative personality?) she is a great pegacorn (I prefer pegacorn to alicorn) and DOES NOT have to be a goddess, she needs to be feared and respected by other ponies, and (as the title suggests) she was made so that she was a good alicorn, which she is.  I could never make a pegacorn like that, I have one and he's only an alicorn because he's supposed to be one of the most evil ponies of Equestria.  So in this post that is probably my longest one that isn't for my OC page I'm saying that she is a great OC and gracie did an outstanding job

so just yeah I don't think she needs to be changed, unless you give a back story
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I'm probably not here, but If I am, call me moon rabbits.
This is for you, guys: http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=10581.msg878328#msg878328
:ajshifty::-3 (bloomberg)

Morning Glory

Quote from: The Wandering Magus on 2012 Nov 30, 11:25:22
The problem is that the only alicorns so far have been effectively goddesses, controlling or harnessing the Sun, the Moon and Love, respectively.


This.

By fan definition, an alicorn is a god, or at least one with god-like powers. From page one you've got a God-Mod problem. To make a mundane alicorn is to oppose that god-like status of the alicorn.

I'm not sure there is middle ground. That's not to say there isn't, but I can't see it from where I'm standing.

At least when it comes to role playing, that is.

I think this OC would work well in a fanfiction, particularly one built around her.

But in a canon-accurate RP, it just wouldn't make sense. It's believable that there are loads of work-a-day ponies out there going about their business and having adventures. After all we've witnessed of Canterlot, the Royal sisters, and how the royal guard works (if there is another alicorn, why wasn't she helping out with security, instead of Shining Armor?), another alicorn flying out of left field- it just feels like cheating. I know you aren't Gracie, you're just experimenting, but the idea in people's heads is there.

The three pony races are balanced. So everyone plays on an even field in a Rp. Sure there's some deviation in terms of strengths, attributes, and resources, but overall each has pros and cons.

I don't see a con for an alicorn. And to build one in would be contrived. They're supposed to be gods. Bringing a god along on your adventure seems kind of pointless.

I know some people feel Cadance changes things, but I don't. It's clear she has god-like powers and strength (Crystal Empire, anypony?), and she is royal to boot. Plus we know that she wasn't part of Faust's original plan. Hasbro wanted a pretty pink princess to sell. But DHX and Studio B made it work. She counts.

So I don't know Gracie. If you're just making her for the heck of it, then she looks great! Good idea. If you're building her up for a fanfiction, I say go for it.

But if she's for a roleplay, I think it's a bad idea.

Blues-Music

Nope. An alicorn is an alicorn no matter what traits you put in there its still technically a royal god with unimaginable power. No matter what nerfs a pony add its still stronger than every pony else.

Gracie Sky

I think we need to tone down our perception of Alicorns a little. While they are generally speaking superior to Unicorns, Pegasi, and Earth Ponies, I find them by no stretch of the imagination goddess-like. Celestia raises the sun and Luna raises the moon, a job that used to be done by the Unicorns as described in Hearth's Warming Eve. Cadence can evoke the emotion of love to those around her. Of course, their general purpose magic is probably better than Twilight Sparkle's, but their specialty I don't find to be all-powerful at all, due to how situational they are.

If you asked me, Cadence is the most powerful of all of them, but only through her love of Shining Armor. Chrysalis tapped into that power and could defeat Princess Celestia with it. With whatever was left, Cadence and Shining Armor completely trumped the queen with a decisive shockwave of love.

From my experience, the fandom has just put Alicorns on this pedestal of Godhood, which I think is merely an overexaggeration about how powerful they really are. I find them to be... well, just a pony. Yes, they have more authority and a prestigious role in their community, but they have the same feelings as everypony else.

And no, I do not plan to RP with this character. Alicorns are unfair when compared to the other races and I do not approve of unfairness in an RP. She would be more of a guide or counselor, if anything.
Character Critique Thread

Have your OC fairly and honestly evaluated!

Lord of Madness

I would say all things considered. Yes its a Fine OC

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