ShadowHeart's OCs

[ShadowHeart]

So this is still in progress

Shadow Shimmer

Spoiler: show

Shadow Shimmer

Gender: Female
Race: Pegasus
Age: 16.5 in human years
Cutie mark: A full moon with two purple clouds
Talent:flying
Appearance: [spoiler][[IMG]http://i47.tinypic.com/xposxd.png[/img]/spoiler]
Personality: Shadow is usually kind and easy going but when somepony insults her flying style or her team of talented flyers, she immediately takes action. Shadow is also a little insecure around stallions and shoves them off whenever they try to get close to her.When she is given a challence, she will go all out to make sure that she can prove herself

Bio: When Shadow was just a little filly, her parents noticed that she wasn't like normal pegasi her age. She had the size of adult pegasi wings when she was a filly and the size of Celestia's when she grew up! At first, Shadow could barely move with the weight of her wings as a filly. It took a year and a half of physical therapy before she was able to really take to the skies and go to flight school. She was one of the best fliers in her class and everypony loved to be around her. All was going well in her first year until the weather lessons began. The school also taught how to control weather and the first lesson was a simple cloud moving job. As soon as Shadow Shimmer grabbed hold of a cloud, it turned dark and turned into a thunder cloud. After that, nopony wanted to be around her because they were afraid she would electrocute them with uncontrollable cloud problem. When she graduated, she receive a letter in the mail. It read that she was chosen from many other talented pegasi to go to the WonderBolts tryouts. She had an entire routine planned out and she was ready to go! When she got to the stadium, she was one of the only fillies there! She felt pretty alone until she met two other fillies, Soarin' and Spirfire. They were really nice and she talked with them until she was up.
When Shadow finally preformed her routine, she strayed from her original plan and tried something she had never succeeded at before. The sonic rainboom. She pulled it off with great difficulty and impressed the WonderBolts greatly. When she did it, however, her rainboom turned dark shades of purple. It was classified as a sonic rainboom but just a different variation. She was the only one in the crowd to get a perfect score and she was sure to win. When they announced to two winners, it was Spitfire and Soarin' who won and they had lower scores. They explained to her that she wasn't WonderBolt material with her dark style of flying she would never fit in. That day, Shadow earned her cutie mark but it wasn't a happy day. After her unfair judgement, she moved away to Ponyville with not much money from her parents. She could only afford an apartment above a snooty Canterlot dropout. She tried to join the weather time for work but they kicked her off after a while and she wasn't even alowd to help with Winter Wrap Up weather.
When all seemed lost, a few years later, Princess Luna came to Shadow one night and told her that she needed a talented flier for her new flight team: The ShadowBolts. Shadow was made the head of the group and awaited others to join.
Extra: She did used to date Soarin' for quite a while but they broke up. I may write the history on that later....

Scythe

Spoiler: show

Scythe

Nickname: Scythey
Gender: Male
Race: Half pony, half dragon
Age: 16 in human years
Appearance: [spoiler][IMG]http://i47.tinypic.com/5a24c9.jpg[/img]

Cutie mark: 3 slashes
Talent: Aerial combat(fast, strong, fast thinking to be a good flying combatant)
Personality: Scythe usually likes to be by himself when none of his friends are around. He is way more out going when his friends are with him andhe'll stand up for them if necissary.

Bio: Scythe's mother came out of Hollow Shades and most ponies who live there aren't very normal. You can see why that would be considering she married a dragon. They had Scythe young and he had dragon wings, a dragon tail, and dragon claws. His mother taught him to fly and grew very attatched to her. As time went on, his father only saw his mother as another pocession in his hoard. When she told him she was tired of him and that he was leaving, he lunged at her. Scythe couldn't just standby and watch and despit his small size, confronted his massive father. He swung at him and somehow lived. He was a puny little thing at the time and could only sratch his eye and nose but it bided enough time for his mom to escape. The he made a run for it too. He got his cutie mark that day and went to live in Ponyville. Most everypony was scared of him and Luna recognized his unique ablities and hired him to be a ShadowBolt. While living in Ponyville, he met the prettiest mare ever: Parfait. He had a major crush on her despite the fact that she was already taken. He wanted to take things at his own pace but his friends gave them a love poison on accident (they meant it to be love potion) and things went out of control from there. PArfait knew about his crush, so did Parfait's current Stallionfriend, all seemed lost for Scythe. That day, he quit the ShadowBolts but he had to rejoin because nopony else would hir a half dragon, half pony!
Extra: Forgot to mention, they wouldn't even let Scythe in flight school because they said he 'wasn't a pegasus or alicorn, just a mutt'.[/spoiler]Demoness

Spoiler: show

Demoness

Gender: Female
Race: Vampire Pegasus
Age: 996 years old
Cutie mark: A fang with some blood on it
Talent: Expert vampire
Appearance: [spoiler]

Personality: Demoness is usually kind and outgoing to everypony and will stand up to anypony, even Shadow, if they make fun of anypony else. Sometimes, she can just depressed and not want to go anywhere, mostly on Nightmare Night because ponies dress up as vampires and she sees it as an insult. Other times, she can lose complet control at even the smallest cut and go crazy for feeding.
Bio: Demoness was a really talented flier in her flight school and it was no shock to anypony that she was invited to the WonderBolts tryouts. Princess Celestia was overseeing the event and looked very sad. It had been 6 years after her sister was banished but she was still dwelling on the act that she had to do to her beloved sister. She didn't even use the royal canterlot voice! Demoness was accepted int the WonderBolts but she was still a blank flank. Infact, she became an adult and was still a blank flank! She had to use a fake cutie mark on her WonderBolt costume to hide her blank flank. After a few years, they were given a mission to save a filly who had wandered into the EverFree Forest. On finding the skinny and beat up thing, they discovered what had captured her: Vampire ponies. She and WonderBolts were almost out of the forest when Demoness was pinned down and bitten by one of the vampires. In her frenzy for blood, Demoness attacked her friends and even the little filly but her friends managed to knock her out and bring her back to Canterlot. Princess Celestia banished her to the Everfree forest despite what Demoness did, she couldn't control. That day she earned her cutie mark and later learned that those destined to be vampires only get their cutie marks when they become vampires. She was starving in the forest for a while until she met Scythe who wasn't afraid of her. He helped  her catch timber wolves and feed on those but she can still go out of control from the sight of blood. She joined the ShadowBolts and uses a spell that makes an illusion of a fake cutie mark appear. She also takes special herbs that makes her able to be out in daylight for an hour. Celestia made a deal with Luna that Demoness could come out of her bansihment only for the Grand Galloping Gala, performances, or other ShadowBolt duties. She has broken this rule many times by going out into Ponyville. Luckily, there aren't too many guards in Ponyville to report her and nopony knows of her banishment except for Luna, Celestia and her friends.
Extra: I forgot to add this in but she was friends with Spitfire's great great great great etc. grandfather so she really likes Spitfire because she resembles her old friend so well. She can also hide her fangs if necissary[/spoiler]

I might do my unicorn char but not today. If don't have anything nice to say DON'T SAY IT ALL!!! IF you have negative feedback PLZ BE TACTFUL ABOUT IT

[Blues-Music]

Wait wait wait.She has the size of Celestia's wings? The wings that managed to get her from Canterlot to Ponyville in a few seconds in the Pinkie sense episode? Not only do you have that , but shadow is smaller than Celestia? So you mean she is faster than the most powerful pony there is? There wasn't even a pony to match her talent at flight school? Not even Rainbowdash? Not just that she got a letter to join the wonderbolts , but Rainbowdash didn't? Also why is Soarin' a filly? Filly means young female pony , colt means young male pony , mare means adult female pony , and stallion means adult male pony so you might want to fix that up. Wait she can do the sonic rainboom too? Not just that its a different kind of sonic boom? Also innacuracy on Soarin' , and Spitfire joining as fillies , and colts I honestly doubt that the best flying team in equestria was meant to be a small team for little kids. Wait now she is the leader of a team that rivals the wonderbolts? Hired by princess Luna herself? Wait now she used to date the best male flier of equestria which is also a cannon , and acknowledged character from the actual show?

I might do my unicorn char but not today. If don't have anything nice to say DON'T SAY IT ALL!!! IF you have negative feedback PLZ BE TACTFUL ABOUT IT

Why did you post your O.C if you didn't want people to tell you whats wrong about it? Its called criticism , and sadly its a huge problem here on the forums that no one accepts it , and wants to be showered in compliments , but at least you are better than the rest of the people here by allowing us to tell you whats wrong.

This O.C is too powerful , and too important. She is faster than the strongest , and fastest pony ever , can easily outfly an incredibly fast pony SPECIALIZED in the sonic rainboom , had a chance in joining the wonderbolts instead of that pony , dated a canon pony , best in her school , managed to recreate the sonic rainboom in her color , joined a rival team to the fastest fliers in equestria as their lead , and was hired by the princess of the night AKA:the second strongest pony of equestria. Just think about that for a moment. Also i'm too lazy to read your other O.C's so hopefully they are okay.

[ShadowHeart]

i didnt read your entire post but all in all it looked pretty shallow and short sighted and im not sure if your aware but there is such a thing as tactful critisism. If you want to be that way then fine. also that was a typo that soarin was a filly i meant colt. I think you need to learn to respect otherse before you go out to play. Cya