Physics Shift, my OC

[the dark gods]

Decided to post my OC, hopefully this doesn't end bad. 


Description
Name: Physics Shift
Race: Unicorn
Gender: Stallion
Age: 31
Cutie Mark: Ancient Magic symbol (It's actually the eye of Tzeentch from 40k, but it makes sense in context)
Coat: Blue
Mane & Tail: Light Blue
Eyes: Green
Size: Slightly above average.
Strength: Slightly below average.
Stamina: Low, can keep up running speed for maybe 30 seconds.
Magic Stamina: High, Can cast spells for 10 minutes before fatigue starts to effect Physics.
Intelligence: Smart, though slightly insane and arrogant, resulting in something obvious being ignored.
Personality: Arrogant, and somewhat of a loner, prefers to work alone, yet if working with others yields more benefits he is willing to spend time and work with other ponies. He also has a habit of thinking out loud occasionally, making it sound like he forgets things then remembers then instantly.

Spell List
1. Invisibility: Self explanatory. Lasts 1 minute 30 seconds, needs 2 minutes 30 seconds before needing to be recast on Physics shift.
2. Telepathy (subtle) Nicknamed: Thought Implant: Essentially subtle telepathy, with a range of 10 meters, can only target one pony.
3. Teleport: Range of 10 meters, must wait 5 seconds between casts, can also bring along 2 other ponies with Physics)
4. Telekinesis: Generic telekinesis, can lift up to 100 pounds, Max range of 20 meters, -5 meters every meter further then 20.
5. Fireball: A weird blue fireball, explodes in a 1 meter wide explosion, causing minor burns in anything caught in the blast radius, also cause a loud sound upon impact. Direction can be controlled for 20 meters then it keeps going in last direction it went until it hit's something, or after 50 meters it dispreces. Flames last for 10 seconds after blast, can be cast once every 5 seconds.
6. Scry: Get the info from 20 or less pages without actually reading it regardless of language, requires contact with the piece of literature. Gives Physics mild headache from knowledge overload.
7. Madness: Causes a individual within 30 meters of Physics shift to be knocked out for 2 minutes from mind overload of elderitch images, must wait 5 minutes before casting again.
8. Cleanse object: purifies objects of contamination or poison, small objects, smaller then a filly, are cleansed in a single minute, medium objects, filly-medium boulder, take roughly 20 minutes, large objects, medium boulder and up, take a hour or more to fully cleanse, mostly used for decontaminating rotten food, but can be used as a basic medical spell.
9. Flash: Horn glows, lighting the the area for 10 meters away from the Unicorn in each direction, can be focused into a beam that lights the area in a 20 meters line, 1 meter thick, lasts for 10 minutes before needing to be recasted.
10. Shade: Makes everything in a 2 meter radius from physics shift dark, can anything from a comfortable shade, to complete darkness, lasts 10 seconds, must wait 30 seconds before recast.
11. Reality Distort: Physics Shift starts glowing and slightly levitating off the floor, the area around him starts to look wrong, lights glow in places were their is no source, heat is felt despite their being a cold breeze in the air, loud noises are heard despite their being no movement to cause it. This is all a illusion. Every sentient being with a 10 meter radius is becomes frightened, any pony outside the AoE, even by a inch, is left unaffected by the spell. After casting the spell, Physics becomes physical fatigued, and a large toll is taken on his magic prowess, stopping him from taking any physically straning activity and casting magic for prolonged periods of time.
(11 seems like a reasonable number of spells, what with Twilight, the strongest Unicorn ever knowing 25 or more spells)

Bio: As a child Physics shift was a average colt. He went to the school in Ponyville, had slightly above average grades, slightly less then an average amount of friends, the only thing that stuck out about him was that he would explore the outskirts of the EverFree.

One time while looking for something to do within the EverFree he found a crater, within the crater was a cloaked pony. The ponies body had a single wound on it, a Manitcores tail mark by the look of it. The cloak had a symbol that looks like a cross between burning eye and crescent moon was somewhat easier to make out on the body, the the inside of the cloak held a bunch of mysterious looking objects, the one that stood out the most was a single thick black leather bound book with that weird marking on it.

Physics Shift tried reading the book, but looking at the words gave him a headache, so he tried his scry spell on the book. It worked...and his mind was instantly filled with insane gibberish, from the partsts he heard, his mind seemed more clear, and he could think better and faster, but it also made him somewhat insane, telling him that he was never at fault for anything, and only others were fallible, and how he should look into complicated things, rather then the "obvious" dumb things, along with these mind change, he learned new spells, dark some would say, but others would say useful. He collapsed right there. When Physics Shift came to, he was surrounded by Timber Wolves, each one looking hungry, he panicked and his mind sent out his fears and manifested then as false thoughts in the surrounding monsters minds, causing them to panic as well. Physics noticed the creatures panic, he grabbed the book and ran.

When he came back to Ponyville, he was greeted by worried parents, but after hugging their little Colt, they noticed that on his flank was a Cutie Mark! The same symbol as on the book, but little weird for a cutie mark. Physics grades in school leaped up higher then ever before, everything just being sort of clearer to him, yet one by one he slowly lost his friends, all in schemes that left them worse for wear and Physics without a scratch or blame on him, each time with Physics gaining something of value from the scheme, sometimes that used to belong to said friend. He grew up friendless and manipulative, never asking for what he wanted, rather tricking those around him into giving it to him.

Currently he lives in the same house that he lived as a little colt, after his parents moved away for business related reason, them needing more cash after hiring private magic tutors for Physics. He spends most of his time studying magic that's borderline illegal, sometimes not even borderline, sure he generally can't use most spell due to how complicated they are, but Physics tries anyway. His other favorite pass time is trying to read that book with the strange symbol, but it mostly talks about is Chaos and some thing called "The Warp", though it does give him some great tips on how to manipulate others and such. He is very protective of  the book, even if he read most of it already. Physics also prefers if others don't go into his house, what with it being full to them brim with illegal spell scrolls, books about Discord and chaos, and it just being a general mess that he's embarrassed of. He sometimes comes out of his home, just to check around the area, see if theirs anything of interest near town, pay off some people to keep quite about his magic studies, research legal magic, and eat some food, as even with magic powers Physics was still mortal, and needed outside contact with the outside world least he starve to death in his house. His main source of income is selling said illegal spells to criminals and magic enthusiasts who don't know were to place boundaries.

So that's my OC, if anyone has any critiques about his looks, his back story, or if he's over powered or not, let me know.

[Vick McBread]

Too OP
Just our opinion.

Spoiler: show

1. Invisibility: Self explanatory. Lasts 1 minute 30 seconds before needing to be recast on Physics shift.
No.
2. Thought implant: Essentially subtle telepathy, with a range of 10 meters.
No,
3. Teleport: Range of 10 meters, must wait 5 seconds between casts, can also bring along 2 other ponies with Physics)
Yeah, awesome bra!
4. Telekinesis: Generic telekinesis, can lift up to 200 pounds.
With this you can blow head up..... So no.
5. Fireball: A weird blue fireball, explodes in a 5 meter wide explosion, burning anything inside the blast radius, direction can be controlled for 40 meters then it keeps going in last direction it went until it hit's something, or after 100 meters it dispreces. Flames last for 10 seconds after blast looking at the flames causes a headache to the viewer, easily spamable.
Look around you. nothing but flamability
6. Dazzler: Creates a eye-attracting ball of light that lasts for 5 seconds within 30 meters of Physics Shift, minor headache once the viewer stops looking.
Very good. But the urge to look at it... no.
7. Scry: Get the info from 20 or less pages without actually reading it regardless of language, requires contact with the piece of literature.
Why not. Its useless anyway
8. Madness: Causes a individual within 50 meters of Physics shift to be driven temporarily mad, lasts 5 minutes, only one being can be affected by madness at a time, more feral the creature the less effective the spell is.
Not gonna work on anypony... So no.
9: Cleanse object: purifies objects of contamination or poison, small objects, smaller then a filly, are cleansed in a single minute, medium objects, filly-medium boulder, take roughly 20 minutes, large objects, medium boulder and up, take a hour or more to fully cleanse, mostly used for decontaminating rotten food, but can be used as a basic medical spell.
Yeah.... um.... keep it... We guess
10. Flash: Horn glows, lighting the the area for 10 meters away from the Unicorn in each direction, can be focused into a beam that lights the area in a 20 meters line, 1 meter thick, lasts for 10 minutes before needing to be recasted.
Uh... k.
11. Shade: Makes everything in a 2 meter radius from physics shift dark, can anything from a comfortable shade, to complete darkness, spamable.
Awesome. just makes you more or less visible. Use it in the desert son.
12. Reality Distort: Physics shift eyes start to glow, and within a 10 meter radius from Physics shift, the world starts to become distorted, non existing colors fill the air, and chants from Tartarus itself are heard, The distortion lasts for 20 seconds. Anyone within the distortion effect suffers as if as though he was hit with the madness spell, anyone who looks into the area suffers from physical sickness and pain and a un-explainable fear that lasts 10 seconds after they stop looking. This spell cannot be cast within a day from the last casting, and it leaves physics shift extremely exhausted, and no other spell can be cast for half a hour.
BIG NO! We don't even have to tell you why either.
(12 seems like a reasonable number of spells, what with Twilight, the strongest Unicorn ever knowing 25 or more spells)
Her spells contain: TPing, Lazers, Wings, Facial hair, Time spells, and more. focus on the ones in the show.

[the dark gods]

Too OP
Just our opinion.
1. Invisibility: Self explanatory. Lasts 1 minute 30 seconds before needing to be recast on Physics shift.
No.

Why is this OP? I mean Physics IS a illegal scroll runner, it makes sense for him to be able to avoid detection reasonably.

2. Thought implant: Essentially subtle telepathy, with a range of 10 meters.
No,

What's bad about this one? Having a way of talking to select people seams like a reasonable spell.

3. Teleport: Range of 10 meters, must wait 5 seconds between casts, can also bring along 2 other ponies with Physics)
Yeah, awesome bra!

Good to see this one ain't broken in your opinion.

4. Telekinesis: Generic telekinesis, can lift up to 200 pounds.
With this you can blow head up..... So no.

200 pounds isn't that heavy, I mean peak humans have benched pressed roughly 1000 pounds before, and Twilight can lift a Ursa (atleast in the multi ton range) so 1/10th a ton isn't unreasonable. And if you go with "you can hurt people with it" it makes little sense, their are plenty of ways to hurt people with things not even meant of hurting people.

5. Fireball: A weird blue fireball, explodes in a 5 meter wide explosion, burning anything inside the blast radius, direction can be controlled for 40 meters then it keeps going in last direction it went until it hit's something, or after 100 meters it dispreces. Flames last for 10 seconds after blast looking at the flames causes a headache to the viewer, easily spamable.
Look around you. nothing but flamability

I don't get your critique, besides magic fire=cheap explanation on why it doesn't cause a forest fire.

6. Dazzler: Creates a eye-attracting ball of light that lasts for 5 seconds within 30 meters of Physics Shift, minor headache once the viewer stops looking.
Very good. But the urge to look at it... no.

Why? It's not like "can't look away" rather it's like "interesting looking distraction"

7. Scry: Get the info from 20 or less pages without actually reading it regardless of language, requires contact with the piece of literature.
Why not. Its useless anyway

Well I would find it useful in real life, imagine how easing studying would be with this spell!

8. Madness: Causes a individual within 50 meters of Physics shift to be driven temporarily mad, lasts 5 minutes, only one being can be affected by madness at a time, more feral the creature the less effective the spell is.
Not gonna work on anypony... So no.

It's a non-lethal attack that can remove hostiles, it works rather well in RPs as I can be in a serious fight without breaking the "no violence" rule. And it can work on ponies, unless their extremely feral ponies.

9: Cleanse object: purifies objects of contamination or poison, small objects, smaller then a filly, are cleansed in a single minute, medium objects, filly-medium boulder, take roughly 20 minutes, large objects, medium boulder and up, take a hour or more to fully cleanse, mostly used for decontaminating rotten food, but can be used as a basic medical spell.
Yeah.... um.... keep it... We guess

Good to see you like something on this list.

10. Flash: Horn glows, lighting the the area for 10 meters away from the Unicorn in each direction, can be focused into a beam that lights the area in a 20 meters line, 1 meter thick, lasts for 10 minutes before needing to be recasted.
Uh... k.

What's weird about this one? It's a lighting (not lightning) spell, like the one snails used in the Ursa cave.

11. Shade: Makes everything in a 2 meter radius from physics shift dark, can anything from a comfortable shade, to complete darkness, spamable.
Awesome. just makes you more or less visible. Use it in the desert son.

Kinda what I was going for.

12. Reality Distort: Physics shift eyes start to glow, and within a 10 meter radius from Physics shift, the world starts to become distorted, non existing colors fill the air, and chants from Tartarus itself are heard, The distortion lasts for 20 seconds. Anyone within the distortion effect suffers as if as though he was hit with the madness spell, anyone who looks into the area suffers from physical sickness and pain and a un-explainable fear that lasts 10 seconds after they stop looking. This spell cannot be cast within a day from the last casting, and it leaves physics shift extremely exhausted, and no other spell can be cast for half a hour.
BIG NO! We don't even have to tell you why either.

This one is supposed to be my strongest spell, and it even leaves me in a state of weakness afterwords!

(12 seems like a reasonable number of spells, what with Twilight, the strongest Unicorn ever knowing 25 or more spells)
Her spells contain: TPing, Lazers, Wings, Facial hair, Time spells, and more. focus on the ones in the show.

Twilight does have 25 spells, remember Boast Busters? Spike says Twilight has 25 spells.

[Little Star]

Question: Why does it have eyelashes if it is a Stallion?

[Blues-Music]

I'm siding with Vick on the OP side however I have different reasons.
Also Vick do you mind putting your list in spoilers?

Spoiler: show

1. Invisibility: Self explanatory. Lasts 1 minute 30 seconds before needing to be recast on Physics shift.
This seems fair.Since its 1 minute , and 30 seconds its not useless , but it isn't very exploitable unless you want to cross a gate without anypony noticing.
2. Thought implant: Essentially subtle telepathy, with a range of 10 meters.
Well its not too OP , but I suggest nerfing it.Make it only one person at a time sort of thing.
3. Teleport: Range of 10 meters, must wait 5 seconds between casts, can also bring along 2 other ponies with Physics)
Teleport is a common spell so awesome keep it as it is.
4. Telekinesis: Generic telekinesis, can lift up to 200 pounds.
This is OP in my opinion.Unicorns shouldn't be able to lift that much with their magic without fainting since as Twilight said "There are some incredibly difficult spells." , and since she almost fainted from giving a unicorn easily flammable wings something VERY bad must happen to you.
5. Fireball: A weird blue fireball, explodes in a 5 meter wide explosion, burning anything inside the blast radius, direction can be controlled for 40 meters then it keeps going in last direction it went until it hit's something, or after 100 meters it dispreces. Flames last for 10 seconds after blast looking at the flames causes a headache to the viewer, easily spamable.
So this is basically a move that you can spam.Burns the enviroment , and ponies.Can go on for 100 meters.Can be controlled.AND it causes headaches?Tooo op
6. Dazzler: Creates a eye-attracting ball of light that lasts for 5 seconds within 30 meters of Physics Shift, minor headache once the viewer stops looking.
Seems fair.
7. Scry: Get the info from 20 or less pages without actually reading it regardless of language, requires contact with the piece of literature.
So he can read stuff without actually reading them?I'm okay with that , but nerf it a little bit by adding a "Gives him a headache." thing.
8. Madness: Causes a individual within 50 meters of Physics shift to be driven temporarily mad, lasts 5 minutes, only one being can be affected by madness at a time, more feral the creature the less effective the spell is.
I'm not sure if its OP or not , but it will be hard to do in RP's as the other pony will feel awkward thinking."I have to act insane?"This won't be a problem for lord of madness though.
9: Cleanse object: purifies objects of contamination or poison, small objects, smaller then a filly, are cleansed in a single minute, medium objects, filly-medium boulder, take roughly 20 minutes, large objects, medium boulder and up, take a hour or more to fully cleanse, mostly used for decontaminating rotten food, but can be used as a basic medical spell.
Sure i'm okay with this.Very creative
10. Flash: Horn glows, lighting the the area for 10 meters away from the Unicorn in each direction, can be focused into a beam that lights the area in a 20 meters line, 1 meter thick, lasts for 10 minutes before needing to be recasted.
Commonly used spell.I'm fine with it.
11. Shade: Makes everything in a 2 meter radius from physics shift dark, can anything from a comfortable shade, to complete darkness, spamable.
Remove spamable , and its great , but if you can spam this attack nopony will EVER get the chance to attack you.
12. Reality Distort: Physics shift eyes start to glow, and within a 10 meter radius from Physics shift, the world starts to become distorted, non existing colors fill the air, and chants from Tartarus itself are heard, The distortion lasts for 20 seconds. Anyone within the distortion effect suffers as if as though he was hit with the madness spell, anyone who looks into the area suffers from physical sickness and pain and a un-explainable fear that lasts 10 seconds after they stop looking. This spell cannot be cast within a day from the last casting, and it leaves physics shift extremely exhausted, and no other spell can be cast for half a hour.

[Vick McBread]

I'm siding with Vick on the OP side however I have different reasons.
Also Vick do you mind putting your list in spoilers?

Spoiler: show

1. Invisibility: Self explanatory. Lasts 1 minute 30 seconds before needing to be recast on Physics shift.
This seems fair.Since its 1 minute , and 30 seconds its not useless , but it isn't very exploitable unless you want to cross a gate without anypony noticing.
2. Thought implant: Essentially subtle telepathy, with a range of 10 meters.
Well its not too OP , but I suggest nerfing it.Make it only one person at a time sort of thing.
3. Teleport: Range of 10 meters, must wait 5 seconds between casts, can also bring along 2 other ponies with Physics)
Teleport is a common spell so awesome keep it as it is.
4. Telekinesis: Generic telekinesis, can lift up to 200 pounds.
This is OP in my opinion.Unicorns shouldn't be able to lift that much with their magic without fainting since as Twilight said "There are some incredibly difficult spells." , and since she almost fainted from giving a unicorn easily flammable wings something VERY bad must happen to you.
5. Fireball: A weird blue fireball, explodes in a 5 meter wide explosion, burning anything inside the blast radius, direction can be controlled for 40 meters then it keeps going in last direction it went until it hit's something, or after 100 meters it dispreces. Flames last for 10 seconds after blast looking at the flames causes a headache to the viewer, easily spamable.
So this is basically a move that you can spam.Burns the enviroment , and ponies.Can go on for 100 meters.Can be controlled.AND it causes headaches?Tooo op
6. Dazzler: Creates a eye-attracting ball of light that lasts for 5 seconds within 30 meters of Physics Shift, minor headache once the viewer stops looking.
Seems fair.
7. Scry: Get the info from 20 or less pages without actually reading it regardless of language, requires contact with the piece of literature.
So he can read stuff without actually reading them?I'm okay with that , but nerf it a little bit by adding a "Gives him a headache." thing.
8. Madness: Causes a individual within 50 meters of Physics shift to be driven temporarily mad, lasts 5 minutes, only one being can be affected by madness at a time, more feral the creature the less effective the spell is.
I'm not sure if its OP or not , but it will be hard to do in RP's as the other pony will feel awkward thinking."I have to act insane?"This won't be a problem for lord of madness though.
9: Cleanse object: purifies objects of contamination or poison, small objects, smaller then a filly, are cleansed in a single minute, medium objects, filly-medium boulder, take roughly 20 minutes, large objects, medium boulder and up, take a hour or more to fully cleanse, mostly used for decontaminating rotten food, but can be used as a basic medical spell.
Sure i'm okay with this.Very creative
10. Flash: Horn glows, lighting the the area for 10 meters away from the Unicorn in each direction, can be focused into a beam that lights the area in a 20 meters line, 1 meter thick, lasts for 10 minutes before needing to be recasted.
Commonly used spell.I'm fine with it.
11. Shade: Makes everything in a 2 meter radius from physics shift dark, can anything from a comfortable shade, to complete darkness, spamable.
Remove spamable , and its great , but if you can spam this attack nopony will EVER get the chance to attack you.
12. Reality Distort: Physics shift eyes start to glow, and within a 10 meter radius from Physics shift, the world starts to become distorted, non existing colors fill the air, and chants from Tartarus itself are heard, The distortion lasts for 20 seconds. Anyone within the distortion effect suffers as if as though he was hit with the madness spell, anyone who looks into the area suffers from physical sickness and pain and a un-explainable fear that lasts 10 seconds after they stop looking. This spell cannot be cast within a day from the last casting, and it leaves physics shift extremely exhausted, and no other spell can be cast for half a hour.

Ok


Ok.... ONE! We know Twilight has 25 spells, by now she has more unless shes taking a break from learing (Celestia forbid)
And yet you can destory her, Think about it

Think about the useless ones and how they can be better.
Find ways to make yourself a good match in the combat of the Ave. Pony. without messing with there head and more not get hit. At least replace one with Some of Twilights Magic. Like the ol' force feild.

TWO!...Also that Telekisdnfidi thing
Thats called Levatation
We got confused. Sorry.

THREE!... C'mon you Blue pony! Think you can do this with out doing this and you wont be OP!
Think about it
Just think
Give it consideration
Let it sink in
And edit this Post
K?

[the dark gods]

Question: Why does it have eyelashes if it is a Stallion?

Wha-*notice eye lashes* oh Tararus, how'd I miss that! Fixing that in a moment.

I'm siding with Vick on the OP side however I have different reasons.
Also Vick do you mind putting your list in spoilers?

This one seems much more reasonable.

[spoiler]1. Invisibility: Self explanatory. Lasts 1 minute 30 seconds before needing to be recast on Physics shift.
This seems fair.Since its 1 minute , and 30 seconds its not useless , but it isn't very exploitable unless you want to cross a gate without anypony noticing.

It was more ment like, search party looking for me, I can't escape, use this until they leave. Though now that I look at it, I feel like I should make it take longer to recast.

2. Thought implant: Essentially subtle telepathy, with a range of 10 meters.
Well its not too OP , but I suggest nerfing it.Make it only one person at a time sort of thing.

Fair enough complaint, ok changing it.

3. Teleport: Range of 10 meters, must wait 5 seconds between casts, can also bring along 2 other ponies with Physics)
Teleport is a common spell so awesome keep it as it is.

Good to see this ain't OP.

4. Telekinesis: Generic telekinesis, can lift up to 200 pounds.
This is OP in my opinion.Unicorns shouldn't be able to lift that much with their magic without fainting since as Twilight said "There are some incredibly difficult spells." , and since she almost fainted from giving a unicorn easily flammable wings something VERY bad must happen to you.

Should I change it to a 100 pounds? That's slightly around slightly strong human lifting weight?

5. Fireball: A weird blue fireball, explodes in a 5 meter wide explosion, burning anything inside the blast radius, direction can be controlled for 40 meters then it keeps going in last direction it went until it hit's something, or after 100 meters it dispreces. Flames last for 10 seconds after blast looking at the flames causes a headache to the viewer, easily spamable.
So this is basically a move that you can spam.Burns the enviroment , and ponies.Can go on for 100 meters.Can be controlled.AND it causes headaches?Tooo op

I'll remove the headache, and maybe change it to controllable for 20 meters, and max range of 50, what should you suggest the range should be?

6. Dazzler: Creates a eye-attracting ball of light that lasts for 5 seconds within 30 meters of Physics Shift, minor headache once the viewer stops looking.
Seems fair.
7. Scry: Get the info from 20 or less pages without actually reading it regardless of language, requires contact with the piece of literature.
So he can read stuff without actually reading them?I'm okay with that , but nerf it a little bit by adding a "Gives him a headache." thing.

Seems fair enough, and I guess it make sense he IS getting alot of info in his head in a short amount of time, ok adding it to the list.

8. Madness: Causes a individual within 50 meters of Physics shift to be driven temporarily mad, lasts 5 minutes, only one being can be affected by madness at a time, more feral the creature the less effective the spell is.
I'm not sure if its OP or not , but it will be hard to do in RP's as the other pony will feel awkward thinking."I have to act insane?"This won't be a problem for lord of madness though.

Should I shorten the time to make it seem less OP?

9: Cleanse object: purifies objects of contamination or poison, small objects, smaller then a filly, are cleansed in a single minute, medium objects, filly-medium boulder, take roughly 20 minutes, large objects, medium boulder and up, take a hour or more to fully cleanse, mostly used for decontaminating rotten food, but can be used as a basic medical spell.
Sure i'm okay with this.Very creative

Why thank you  .

10. Flash: Horn glows, lighting the the area for 10 meters away from the Unicorn in each direction, can be focused into a beam that lights the area in a 20 meters line, 1 meter thick, lasts for 10 minutes before needing to be recasted.
Commonly used spell.I'm fine with it.

Good.

11. Shade: Makes everything in a 2 meter radius from physics shift dark, can anything from a comfortable shade, to complete darkness, spamable.
Remove spamable , and its great , but if you can spam this attack nopony will EVER get the chance to attack you.

2 meters isn't that big, a human is just under 2 meters tall, but I'll remove spamable then. Lasts 10 seconds, must wait 30 seconds before recast. That good?

12. Reality Distort: Physics shift eyes start to glow, and within a 10 meter radius from Physics shift, the world starts to become distorted, non existing colors fill the air, and chants from Tartarus itself are heard, The distortion lasts for 20 seconds. Anyone within the distortion effect suffers as if as though he was hit with the madness spell, anyone who looks into the area suffers from physical sickness and pain and a un-explainable fear that lasts 10 seconds after they stop looking. This spell cannot be cast within a day from the last casting, and it leaves physics shift extremely exhausted, and no other spell can be cast for half a hour.

No comment on this, just assumed you forgot to comment on it.

[Vick McBread]

I feel like I should make it take longer to recast.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Thats it! Vick has some Anti Invisy Goggles in that mask of his.

Now that We think about it... Do what Blues is telling you to do. We took the wrong approch, We wanted you to delete and replace when you only had to change and weaken it all.
Carry on.

purifies objects of contamination or poison

Wait, Poison? THATS AWESOME! Very good. Sorry didn't see that.

Wait. That Horn Flash thing. Guess we didn't understand. Go for it Have a great effect on Vick

We'll This was pretty cool
We got your OP pony up a notch and instead of Rageing at us you listent to somepony who made you change and tweak them. Oh and by the way. We were trying to help you. Not make you mad...

[The Wandering Magus]

my review of the whole thing, piece by piece:

Spoiler: show

Decided to post my OC, hopefully this doesn't end bad.  [spoiler]

(please dear Celestia let the image work)
Description
Name: Physics Shift
Race: Unicorn
Gender: Stallion
Age: 22
Cutie Mark: Ancient Magic symbol (It's actually the eye of Tzeentch from 40k, but it makes sense in context)
Coat: Blue
Mane & Tail: Light Blue
Eyes: Also blue! (can't you tell I like blue?)
Size: Slightly above average.
Strength: Slightly below average.
Stamina: Low, can keep up running speed for maybe 30 seconds.
Magic Stamina: High, can cast spells for half a hour with only minor fatigue.
are you sure this is not overpowered? most real-world fights last less than half a minute, and spells are canonically draining.  having that level of stamina makes you seem on a level above the princesses, which is the very definition of overpowered.  can we not have normal ponies in this place for once?

Intelligence: Smart, though slightly insane and arrogant, resulting in something obvious being ignored.
i don't get the appeal of having insane OCs.  almost every single OC is insane for some reason, and the ones that aren't never manage to reign in the others.  it makes for a rather chilling realization that the entire world is supposedly filled with psychopaths and egomaniacs.

Personality: Arrogant, and somewhat of a loner, prefers to work alone, yet if working with others yields more benefits he is willing to spend time and work with other ponies. He also has a habit of thinking out loud occasionally, making it sound like he forgets things then remembers then instantly.
so like Trixie?

Spell List
1. Invisibility: Self explanatory. Lasts 1 minute 30 seconds, needs 2 minutes 30 seconds before needing to be recast on Physics shift.
2. Thought implant: Essentially subtle telepathy, with a range of 10 meters, can only target one pony.
it's called brainwashing, it's taking away a pony's free will and dominating it with yours.  It's quite cruel.
3. Teleport: Range of 10 meters, must wait 5 seconds between casts, can also bring along 2 other ponies with Physics)
4. Telekinesis: Generic telekinesis, can lift up to 100 pounds.
from what's been demonstrated on the show? OP.
5. Fireball: A weird blue fireball, explodes in a 5 meter wide explosion, burning anything inside the blast radius, direction can be controlled for 20 meters then it keeps going in last direction it went until it hit's something, or after 50 meters it dispreces. Flames last for 10 seconds after blast, easily spamable.
OP and inappropriate to the setting
6. Dazzler: Creates a eye-attracting ball of light that lasts for 5 seconds within 30 meters of Physics Shift, minor headache once the viewer stops looking.
7. Scry: Get the info from 20 or less pages without actually reading it regardless of language, requires contact with the piece of literature. Gives Physics mild headache from knowledge overload.
seems OP due to zero-language-barrier.
8. Madness: Causes a individual within 50 meters of Physics shift to be driven temporarily mad, lasts 5 minutes, only one being can be affected by madness at a time, more feral the creature the less effective the spell is.
completely inappropriate and OP.
9: Cleanse object: purifies objects of contamination or poison, small objects, smaller then a filly, are cleansed in a single minute, medium objects, filly-medium boulder, take roughly 20 minutes, large objects, medium boulder and up, take a hour or more to fully cleanse, mostly used for decontaminating rotten food, but can be used as a basic medical spell.
10. Flash: Horn glows, lighting the the area for 10 meters away from the Unicorn in each direction, can be focused into a beam that lights the area in a 20 meters line, 1 meter thick, lasts for 10 minutes before needing to be recasted.
11. Shade: Makes everything in a 2 meter radius from physics shift dark, can anything from a comfortable shade, to complete darkness, lasts 10 seconds, must wait 30 seconds before recast.
12. Reality Distort: Physics shift eyes start to glow, and within a 10 meter radius from Physics shift, the world starts to become distorted, non existing colors fill the air, and chants from Tartarus itself are heard, The distortion lasts for 20 seconds. Anyone within the distortion effect suffers as if as though he was hit with the madness spell, anyone who looks into the area suffers from physical sickness and pain and a un-explainable fear that lasts 10 seconds after they stop looking. This spell cannot be cast within a day from the last casting, and it leaves physics shift extremely exhausted, and no other spell can be cast for half a hour.
OP.
(12 seems like a reasonable number of spells, what with Twilight, the strongest Unicorn ever knowing 25 or more spells)
except that almost all of them are overpowered and/or inappropriate.

Bio: As a child Physics shift was a average colt. He went to the school in Ponyville, had slightly above average grades, slightly less then an average amount of friends, the only thing that stuck out about him was that he would explore the outskirts of the EverFree.

One time while looking for something to do within the EverFree he found a crater, within the crater was a armored being. It was tall, and some weird looking shade of purple. The being itself was dead as a rock, burnt beyond belief, but a symbol that looks like a cross between burning eye and crescent moon was somewhat easier to make out on the body, the belt and the mysterious looking objects on it were all burnt as well, except for a single thick black leather bound book with that weird marking on it.
*sigh* why aliens, all the time, every time I read an OC it's aliens or monsters or alternate dimensions.  Why can't we have normal, everyday, sane and happy Equestrian citizens for once?  Why does there have to be death, destruction, curses, war and torture, everywhere?

Physics Shift tried reading the book, but looking at the words gave him a headache, so he tried his scry spell on the book. It worked...and his mind was instantly filled with insane gibberish, from the partsts he heard, his mind seemed more clear, and he could think better and faster, but it also made him somewhat insane, telling him that he was never at fault for anything, and only others were fallible, and how he should look into complicated things, rather then the "obvious" dumb things, along with these mind change, he learned new spells, dark some would say, but others would say useful.
and that's where suspension of disbelief stops for me.  grimdark equestria, whoo.  how is this even tangentially similar to the ponies that live and work and breath in the show?

He collapsed right there. When Physics Shift came to, he was surrounded by Timber Wolves, each one looking hungry, he panicked and cast the first spell that came to his mind, the Reality Distort, the pack of Timber Wolves went mad, some attacking timber wolves, some running in fear, others just howled and gnawed at the ground. Using the distraction to his advantage he grabbed the book and slowly crawled away from the pack, feeling rather weak, and the only thing he could think of was how he casted a spell he never used or heard of before without ever practicing it?
because tome of eldritch lore gives you op instant-learning powers?

When he came back to Ponyville, he was greeted by worried parents, but after hugging their little Colt, they noticed that on his flank was a Cutie Mark! The same symbol as on the book, but little weird for a cutie mark. Physics grades in school leaped up higher then ever before, everything just being sort of clearer to him, yet one by one he slowly lost his friends, all in schemes that left them worse for wear and Physics without a scratch or blame on him, each time with Physics gaining something of value from the scheme, sometimes that used to belong to said friend. He grew up friendless and manipulative, never asking for what he wanted, rather tricking those around him into giving it to him.
so you made a villain, that's nice.  a mini-discord, from the sounds of it.

Currently he lives in the same house that he lived as a little colt, after his parents moved away for business related reason. He spends most of his time studying magic that's borderline illegal, sometimes not even borderline, sure he generally can't use most spell due to how complicated they are, but Physics tries anyway.
a criminal egomaniac

His other favorite pass time is trying to read that book with the strange symbol, but it mostly talks about is Chaos and some thing called "The Warp", though it does give him some great tips on how to manipulate others and such. He is very protective of  the book, even if he read most of it already. Physics also prefers if others don't go into his house, what with it being full to them brim with illegal spell scrolls, books about Discord and chaos, and it just being a general mess that he's embarrassed of. He sometimes comes out of his home, just to check around the area, see if theirs anything of interest near town, pay off some people to keep quite about his magic studies, research legal magic, and eat some food, as even with magic powers Physics was still mortal, and needed outside contact with the outside world least he starve to death in his house. His main source of income is selling said illegal spells to criminals and magic enthusiasts who don't know were to place boundaries.
not just a criminal egomaniac, a trafficker of illegal goods.

So that's my OC, if anyone has any critiques about his looks, his back story, or if he's over powered or not, let me know.

I think you know by now what my opinion of this is.  40k simply does not meld with Equestria, in my opinion.  You're taking a show about peace and harmony and friendship, about forgiving enemies and helping others, about thankfulness and the danger of hatred, about the power of love and the pain of misunderstandings, and for some reason you're bringing a grimdark world of death and endless war into it.  I'm sorry, but I cannot condone a character like this.

I would suggest talking to the Lord of Madness; his OC started out quite similar to yours in terms of power and grimdarkness, but he gradually changed his to match the setting.

Sorry if I'm blunt about this.
[/quote][/spoiler]

[Ryo_D_Disk]

The infomus Ryo Rant

Spoiler: show

ok ok I'm not normally one to comment on OC's I prefer to let players figure out how they should play and how they are designed. Luna knows that mine have terrible inconsistencies but I will say one thing about the spell selection because they are terribly imbalanced you have multiple elements mixed with most being of a high level such as fire, darkness, telekinetic heck even Ethereal and some just break rules for example "8. Madness: Causes a individual within 50 meters of Physics shift to be driven temporarily mad, lasts 5 minutes, only one being can be affected by madness at a time, more feral the creature the less effective the spell is." "Powerplaying" refers to when a role-player takes control of another person's character"

As for the character Magus is right 40k and Ponies don't really have the best mach up and if your evil by god man your more powerful than half the villous characters on this site, its fine wanting to be evil sometimes it's a nice dynamic but you have to play it smart not powerful, yes evil powers are needed but having it go I'm evil and all powerful doesn't work ((trust me I've tried once before long ago))

But regardless enough of a rant from me my only advice is just think about how you would play in any of the RP's and how you would react to such a character any way Ryo Rant complete

[the dark gods]

Responding to Critque GO!

my review of the whole thing, piece by piece:

Spoiler: show

Decided to post my OC, hopefully this doesn't end bad.  [spoiler]

(please dear Celestia let the image work)
Description
Name: Physics Shift
Race: Unicorn
Gender: Stallion
Age: 22
Cutie Mark: Ancient Magic symbol (It's actually the eye of Tzeentch from 40k, but it makes sense in context)
Coat: Blue
Mane & Tail: Light Blue
Eyes: Also blue! (can't you tell I like blue?)
Size: Slightly above average.
Strength: Slightly below average.
Stamina: Low, can keep up running speed for maybe 30 seconds.
Magic Stamina: High, can cast spells for half a hour with only minor fatigue.
are you sure this is not overpowered? most real-world fights last less than half a minute, and spells are canonically draining.  having that level of stamina makes you seem on a level above the princesses, which is the very definition of overpowered.  can we not have normal ponies in this place for once?
We never really see the average unicorn demonstrate how much stamina they have the largest reference I have is Twilight, the strongest unicorn in all of Equestria, and we never see her use magic for long period of time. How much would you suggest, 10 minutes?

Intelligence: Smart, though slightly insane and arrogant, resulting in something obvious being ignored.
i don't get the appeal of having insane OCs.  almost every single OC is insane for some reason, and the ones that aren't never manage to reign in the others.  it makes for a rather chilling realization that the entire world is supposedly filled with psychopaths and egomaniacs.
Minor insane, as in he will ignore the obvious is he doesn't seem to like it, not full on blown insanity. Mental Disorder is probably a better term, but then again, I'm no psychiatrist.

Personality: Arrogant, and somewhat of a loner, prefers to work alone, yet if working with others yields more benefits he is willing to spend time and work with other ponies. He also has a habit of thinking out loud occasionally, making it sound like he forgets things then remembers then instantly.
so like Trixie?
The only similarity I see is arrogance .Though we don't know if Trixie works well with others, or if she thinks out loud. We can assume she likes to take credit for others work due to arrogance, but no idea if she will or will not work with others, and she never thought out load on screen to my knowledge.

Spell List
1. Invisibility: Self explanatory. Lasts 1 minute 30 seconds, needs 2 minutes 30 seconds before needing to be recast on Physics shift.
2. Thought implant: Essentially subtle telepathy, with a range of 10 meters, can only target one pony.
it's called brainwashing, it's taking away a pony's free will and dominating it with yours.  It's quite cruel.
It's not brainwashing, more like "I think of something, and the thought comes into your mind" their is a reason why I said Telepathy, the person isn't forced to do it, they just get the idea of what I thought. I mean if the person is rash and just does things without thinking them over, it might work like brainwashing.

3. Teleport: Range of 10 meters, must wait 5 seconds between casts, can also bring along 2 other ponies with Physics)
4. Telekinesis: Generic telekinesis, can lift up to 100 pounds.
from what's been demonstrated on the show? OP.
A average human can bench press something about 115 pounds, so Physics is actually slightly weaker then a average human with his telekinesis.

5. Fireball: A weird blue fireball, explodes in a 5 meter wide explosion, burning anything inside the blast radius, direction can be controlled for 20 meters then it keeps going in last direction it went until it hit's something, or after 50 meters it dispreces. Flames last for 10 seconds after blast, easily spamable.
OP and inappropriate to the setting
Twilight can shot lasers, even spam them rather well, so their ARE attack spells in Equestria, and how is it OP, explain so I can make it less so.

6. Dazzler: Creates a eye-attracting ball of light that lasts for 5 seconds within 30 meters of Physics Shift, minor headache once the viewer stops looking.
7. Scry: Get the info from 20 or less pages without actually reading it regardless of language, requires contact with the piece of literature. Gives Physics mild headache from knowledge overload.
seems OP due to zero-language-barrier.
I can't really remove the zero-language barrier thing, important to the back story. Besides a spell has to be useful, otherwise no one would use it.

8. Madness: Causes a individual within 50 meters of Physics shift to be driven temporarily mad, lasts 5 minutes, only one being can be affected by madness at a time, more feral the creature the less effective the spell is.
completely inappropriate and OP.
It's a non-lethal attack, besides if the want it need it spell is in show, this is spell isn't that inappropriate. Irrational love of random object, and irrational thinking aren't to far apart.

9: Cleanse object: purifies objects of contamination or poison, small objects, smaller then a filly, are cleansed in a single minute, medium objects, filly-medium boulder, take roughly 20 minutes, large objects, medium boulder and up, take a hour or more to fully cleanse, mostly used for decontaminating rotten food, but can be used as a basic medical spell.
10. Flash: Horn glows, lighting the the area for 10 meters away from the Unicorn in each direction, can be focused into a beam that lights the area in a 20 meters line, 1 meter thick, lasts for 10 minutes before needing to be recasted.
11. Shade: Makes everything in a 2 meter radius from physics shift dark, can anything from a comfortable shade, to complete darkness, lasts 10 seconds, must wait 30 seconds before recast.
12. Reality Distort: Physics shift eyes start to glow, and within a 10 meter radius from Physics shift, the world starts to become distorted, non existing colors fill the air, and chants from Tartarus itself are heard, The distortion lasts for 20 seconds. Anyone within the distortion effect suffers as if as though he was hit with the madness spell, anyone who looks into the area suffers from physical sickness and pain and a un-explainable fear that lasts 10 seconds after they stop looking. This spell cannot be cast within a day from the last casting, and it leaves physics shift extremely exhausted, and no other spell can be cast for half a hour.
OP.
Well this is my strongest spell, and it greatly weakens Physics afterwords, complete physical exhaustion AND no spells for half a hour? if this fails in a fight, and Physics has no way of resting, he's a goner. Besides, if your not physically close to Physics, closing your eyes is a valid counter to this.

(12 seems like a reasonable number of spells, what with Twilight, the strongest Unicorn ever knowing 25 or more spells)
except that almost all of them are overpowered and/or inappropriate.
Already gone through the list.

Bio: As a child Physics shift was a average colt. He went to the school in Ponyville, had slightly above average grades, slightly less then an average amount of friends, the only thing that stuck out about him was that he would explore the outskirts of the EverFree.

One time while looking for something to do within the EverFree he found a crater, within the crater was a armored being. It was tall, and some weird looking shade of purple. The being itself was dead as a rock, burnt beyond belief, but a symbol that looks like a cross between burning eye and crescent moon was somewhat easier to make out on the body, the belt and the mysterious looking objects on it were all burnt as well, except for a single thick black leather bound book with that weird marking on it.
*sigh* why aliens, all the time, every time I read an OC it's aliens or monsters or alternate dimensions.  Why can't we have normal, everyday, sane and happy Equestrian citizens for once?  Why does there have to be death, destruction, curses, war and torture, everywhere?
Because RPing as a normal pony is boring? Their is a reason why D&D is about adventure & out of the ordinary things and not living a normal life. Though would you suggest a simple mage pony rather then Chaos Sorcerer?

Physics Shift tried reading the book, but looking at the words gave him a headache, so he tried his scry spell on the book. It worked...and his mind was instantly filled with insane gibberish, from the partsts he heard, his mind seemed more clear, and he could think better and faster, but it also made him somewhat insane, telling him that he was never at fault for anything, and only others were fallible, and how he should look into complicated things, rather then the "obvious" dumb things, along with these mind change, he learned new spells, dark some would say, but others would say useful.
and that's where suspension of disbelief stops for me.  grimdark equestria, whoo.  how is this even tangentially similar to the ponies that live and work and breath in the show?
Any suggestions to make it less grimdark? Besides, their IS Discord a god of chaos, the EverFree forest is full of horrible creatures. And a anecdotal event within the EverFree forest, the Grimdarkest place within the show, is hardly "Grimdark Equestria" as you put it.

He collapsed right there. When Physics Shift came to, he was surrounded by Timber Wolves, each one looking hungry, he panicked and cast the first spell that came to his mind, the Reality Distort, the pack of Timber Wolves went mad, some attacking timber wolves, some running in fear, others just howled and gnawed at the ground. Using the distraction to his advantage he grabbed the book and slowly crawled away from the pack, feeling rather weak, and the only thing he could think of was how he casted a spell he never used or heard of before without ever practicing it?
because tome of eldritch lore gives you op instant-learning powers?
Well no, but spell books used by the worshipers of eldritch beings give you powers. Besides, would you risk insanity for simple knowledge? I mean if your going to risk your mind the reward should better well be good.

When he came back to Ponyville, he was greeted by worried parents, but after hugging their little Colt, they noticed that on his flank was a Cutie Mark! The same symbol as on the book, but little weird for a cutie mark. Physics grades in school leaped up higher then ever before, everything just being sort of clearer to him, yet one by one he slowly lost his friends, all in schemes that left them worse for wear and Physics without a scratch or blame on him, each time with Physics gaining something of value from the scheme, sometimes that used to belong to said friend. He grew up friendless and manipulative, never asking for what he wanted, rather tricking those around him into giving it to him.
so you made a villain, that's nice.  a mini-discord, from the sounds of it.
This ain't mini-discord territory, this is manipulative bully territory.

Currently he lives in the same house that he lived as a little colt, after his parents moved away for business related reason. He spends most of his time studying magic that's borderline illegal, sometimes not even borderline, sure he generally can't use most spell due to how complicated they are, but Physics tries anyway.
a criminal egomaniac
No argument here, Physics Shift was never meant to be a heroic good guy.

His other favorite pass time is trying to read that book with the strange symbol, but it mostly talks about is Chaos and some thing called "The Warp", though it does give him some great tips on how to manipulate others and such. He is very protective of  the book, even if he read most of it already. Physics also prefers if others don't go into his house, what with it being full to them brim with illegal spell scrolls, books about Discord and chaos, and it just being a general mess that he's embarrassed of. He sometimes comes out of his home, just to check around the area, see if theirs anything of interest near town, pay off some people to keep quite about his magic studies, research legal magic, and eat some food, as even with magic powers Physics was still mortal, and needed outside contact with the outside world least he starve to death in his house. His main source of income is selling said illegal spells to criminals and magic enthusiasts who don't know were to place boundaries.
not just a criminal egomaniac, a trafficker of illegal goods.
Yup, thought the life of crime isn't always easy, after all, in my second RP, I get caught for doing so.

So that's my OC, if anyone has any critiques about his looks, his back story, or if he's over powered or not, let me know.

I think you know by now what my opinion of this is.  40k simply does not meld with Equestria, in my opinion.  You're taking a show about peace and harmony and friendship, about forgiving enemies and helping others, about thankfulness and the danger of hatred, about the power of love and the pain of misunderstandings, and for some reason you're bringing a grimdark world of death and endless war into it.  I'm sorry, but I cannot condone a character like this.

I would suggest talking to the Lord of Madness; his OC started out quite similar to yours in terms of power and grimdarkness, but he gradually changed his to match the setting.
IThe two franchises have a surprising alot in common, Luna and Celestia background and the Horus Heresy being the most obvious and largest one. It's mostly a reference and a reason to use the symbol of Tzeentch as a cutie mark. If you want, I could try to town down the references to it.

Sorry if I'm blunt about this.
No problems, the more blunt, the more easy it is to understand your critique, and rebutal it, or change my character to said critique.

[/spoiler]
[/quote]

The infomus Ryo Rant

Spoiler: show

ok ok I'm not normally one to comment on OC's I prefer to let players figure out how they should play and how they are designed. Luna knows that mine have terrible inconsistencies but I will say one thing about the spell selection because they are terribly imbalanced you have multiple elements mixed with most being of a high level such as fire, darkness, telekinetic heck even Ethereal and some just break rules for example "8. Madness: Causes a individual within 50 meters of Physics shift to be driven temporarily mad, lasts 5 minutes, only one being can be affected by madness at a time, more feral the creature the less effective the spell is." "Powerplaying" refers to when a role-player takes control of another person's character"
To be fair, their are mind effective spells in the shows, Chrysalis brainwashing, Twilights Want-it Need-it spell, Cadences love spell. Thought this spell seems to be getting allot of flak, I'll tone down the time of effect.

As for the character Magus is right 40k and Ponies don't really have the best mach up and if your evil by god man your more powerful than half the villous characters on this site, its fine wanting to be evil sometimes it's a nice dynamic but you have to play it smart not powerful, yes evil powers are needed but having it go I'm evil and all powerful doesn't work ((trust me I've tried once before long ago))
He has 3 attack spells, I already nerfed the fireball, I'm going to nerf the other 2 right now.

But regardless enough of a rant from me my only advice is just think about how you would play in any of the RP's and how you would react to such a character any way Ryo Rant complete

[Ryo_D_Disk]

Responding to responce...

Well yes it is true Cadence and Twilight both had a mind effecting spell such as the examples you gave but you also have to bare in mind Twilight is an element bearer of Magic itself and is kind of designed to be over powerful hence why she failed to negate her on effect in the show  as for cadence don't forget she is an Alicorn known for pretty much being the gods of magic in terms of storytelling as for the Chrysalis brainwashing she is a creature born to do such things and not to mention again Alicorn of her race, as for your character in RP perspective you're a regular ponyvillian Unicorn as opposed to being an equestrian death machine, but im glad you've taken the spells into consideration

Rant 2.0 complete

[the dark gods]

Responding to responce...

Well yes it is true Cadence and Twilight both had a mind effecting spell such as the examples you gave but you also have to bare in mind Twilight is an element bearer of Magic itself and is kind of designed to be over powerful hence why she failed to negate her on effect in the show  as for cadence don't forget she is an Alicorn known for pretty much being the gods of magic in terms of storytelling as for the Chrysalis brainwashing she is a creature born to do such things and not to mention again Alicorn of her race, as for your character in RP perspective you're a regular ponyvillian Unicorn as opposed to being an equestrian death machine, but im glad you've taken the spells into consideration

Rant 2.0 complete

Alicorns=/=gods, just because two alicorns aren't gods doesn't make them the same. Cadence isn't a god by and measure of the word, she's a babysitter! And to further my point. Chrysalis and Twilights example are stronger then my spell. Chrysalis spell requires a counter to be applied, the Want-it Need-it spell required Celestia herself to counter it. Cadence spell on the other hand was temporary (as far as I know), just like this spell.

I've already cut the distance to near half, and more then halfed the duration of the insanity. And Reality Distort has a short range now, and weakens the farther away you are! I mean it's rather weak now. If you feel madness is to OP, I might consider a KO spell and have reality distort be the only spell I got from the book.

[The Wandering Magus]

Spoiler: response • show

[quote author=the dark gods link=topic=5021.msg395622#msg395622 date=1350164666]

Magic Stamina: High, can cast spells for half a hour with only minor fatigue.
are you sure this is not overpowered? most real-world fights last less than half a minute, and spells are canonically draining.  having that level of stamina makes you seem on a level above the princesses, which is the very definition of overpowered.  can we not have normal ponies in this place for once?
We never really see the average unicorn demonstrate how much stamina they have the largest reference I have is Twilight, the strongest unicorn in all of Equestria, and we never see her use magic for long period of time. How much would you suggest, 10 minutes?
Or less.  Like you've said, "we never see her use magic for long periods of time", and she is "the strongest unicorn in all of Equestria".  Trying to make your OC comparable to her is tantamount to godmodding.

Intelligence: Smart, though slightly insane and arrogant, resulting in something obvious being ignored.
i don't get the appeal of having insane OCs.  almost every single OC is insane for some reason, and the ones that aren't never manage to reign in the others.  it makes for a rather chilling realization that the entire world is supposedly filled with psychopaths and egomaniacs.
Minor insane, as in he will ignore the obvious is he doesn't seem to like it, not full on blown insanity. Mental Disorder is probably a better term, but then again, I'm no psychiatrist.
Clarification would be nice in that respect.

Personality: Arrogant, and somewhat of a loner, prefers to work alone, yet if working with others yields more benefits he is willing to spend time and work with other ponies. He also has a habit of thinking out loud occasionally, making it sound like he forgets things then remembers then instantly.
so like Trixie?
The only similarity I see is arrogance .Though we don't know if Trixie works well with others, or if she thinks out loud. We can assume she likes to take credit for others work due to arrogance, but no idea if she will or will not work with others, and she never thought out load on screen to my knowledge.
So a mix between Gollum, Pinkamena and Trixie?

Spell List
1. Invisibility: Self explanatory. Lasts 1 minute 30 seconds, needs 2 minutes 30 seconds before needing to be recast on Physics shift.
2. Thought implant: Essentially subtle telepathy, with a range of 10 meters, can only target one pony.
it's called brainwashing, it's taking away a pony's free will and dominating it with yours.  It's quite cruel.
It's not brainwashing, more like "I think of something, and the thought comes into your mind" their is a reason why I said Telepathy, the person isn't forced to do it, they just get the idea of what I thought. I mean if the person is rash and just does things without thinking them over, it might work like brainwashing.
"thought implant" implies implanting an idea into a pony's head against their will.  maybe renaming it?

4. Telekinesis: Generic telekinesis, can lift up to 100 pounds.
from what's been demonstrated on the show? OP.
A average human can bench press something about 115 pounds, so Physics is actually slightly weaker then a average human with his telekinesis.
But not from a distance and not for any sustained amount of time.  Maybe if you made a reference to a distance constraint and time constraint and mental strain?

5. Fireball: A weird blue fireball, explodes in a 5 meter wide explosion, burning anything inside the blast radius, direction can be controlled for 20 meters then it keeps going in last direction it went until it hit's something, or after 50 meters it dispreces. Flames last for 10 seconds after blast, easily spamable.
OP and inappropriate to the setting
Twilight can shot lasers, even spam them rather well, so their ARE attack spells in Equestria, and how is it OP, explain so I can make it less so.
Inappropriate specifically to Legends of Equestria Forums, where there is a clear no-violence rule on the Forum Rules list.  Five meters is essentially inescapable, and "burning anything inside the blast radius" constitutes violence, and you do not specify the damage, unless it's complete incineration, which is overpowered due to being one-hit-kill shots.  Spammability also.  It's bringing a gun into a world where swords and hooves are the main weapons.  And as I've said before, Twilight is THE most powerful sorceress in Equestria, trying to match her is essentially godmodding.

7. Scry: Get the info from 20 or less pages without actually reading it regardless of language, requires contact with the piece of literature. Gives Physics mild headache from knowledge overload.
seems OP due to zero-language-barrier.
I can't really remove the zero-language barrier thing, important to the back story. Besides a spell has to be useful, otherwise no one would use it.
do try to remember what world you're in.

8. Madness: Causes a individual within 50 meters of Physics shift to be driven temporarily mad, lasts 5 minutes, only one being can be affected by madness at a time, more feral the creature the less effective the spell is.
completely inappropriate and OP.
It's a non-lethal attack, besides if the want it need it spell is in show, this is spell isn't that inappropriate. Irrational love of random object, and irrational thinking aren't to far apart.
The Forum Rules concerning Powerplaying do not agree.  When you get to puppeteer another character, I call that powerplaying, and that's just plain inappropriate and overpowered.  And Want It Need It is portrayed in an EXTREMELY negative light for a reason.

12. Reality Distort: Physics shift eyes start to glow, and within a 10 meter radius from Physics shift, the world starts to become distorted, non existing colors fill the air, and chants from Tartarus itself are heard, The distortion lasts for 20 seconds. Anyone within the distortion effect suffers as if as though he was hit with the madness spell, anyone who looks into the area suffers from physical sickness and pain and a un-explainable fear that lasts 10 seconds after they stop looking. This spell cannot be cast within a day from the last casting, and it leaves physics shift extremely exhausted, and no other spell can be cast for half a hour.
OP.
Well this is my strongest spell, and it greatly weakens Physics afterwords, complete physical exhaustion AND no spells for half a hour? if this fails in a fight, and Physics has no way of resting, he's a goner. Besides, if your not physically close to Physics, closing your eyes is a valid counter to this.
It's. Reality. Warping.  Since when was reality warping NOT OP?

(12 seems like a reasonable number of spells, what with Twilight, the strongest Unicorn ever knowing 25 or more spells)
except that almost all of them are overpowered and/or inappropriate.
Already gone through the list.
please reread the Forum Rules.

Bio: As a child Physics shift was a average colt. He went to the school in Ponyville, had slightly above average grades, slightly less then an average amount of friends, the only thing that stuck out about him was that he would explore the outskirts of the EverFree.

One time while looking for something to do within the EverFree he found a crater, within the crater was a armored being. It was tall, and some weird looking shade of purple. The being itself was dead as a rock, burnt beyond belief, but a symbol that looks like a cross between burning eye and crescent moon was somewhat easier to make out on the body, the belt and the mysterious looking objects on it were all burnt as well, except for a single thick black leather bound book with that weird marking on it.
*sigh* why aliens, all the time, every time I read an OC it's aliens or monsters or alternate dimensions.  Why can't we have normal, everyday, sane and happy Equestrian citizens for once?  Why does there have to be death, destruction, curses, war and torture, everywhere?
Because RPing as a normal pony is boring? Their is a reason why D&D is about adventure & out of the ordinary things and not living a normal life. Though would you suggest a simple mage pony rather then Chaos Sorcerer?
There's a reason this isn't the DnD Fan Forums.  It's Legends of Equestria, a My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Fan-Game Forum.  I would suggest a normal unicorn with normal powers that has a job and friends and would not seem completely out of place in Ponyville, Canterlot, Manehattan and every single other area in Equestria as depicted in the show.  Otherwise you're just making an alicorn by any other name.

Physics Shift tried reading the book, but looking at the words gave him a headache, so he tried his scry spell on the book. It worked...and his mind was instantly filled with insane gibberish, from the partsts he heard, his mind seemed more clear, and he could think better and faster, but it also made him somewhat insane, telling him that he was never at fault for anything, and only others were fallible, and how he should look into complicated things, rather then the "obvious" dumb things, along with these mind change, he learned new spells, dark some would say, but others would say useful.
and that's where suspension of disbelief stops for me.  grimdark equestria, whoo.  how is this even tangentially similar to the ponies that live and work and breath in the show?
Any suggestions to make it less grimdark? Besides, their IS Discord a god of chaos, the EverFree forest is full of horrible creatures. And a anecdotal event within the EverFree forest, the Grimdarkest place within the show, is hardly "Grimdark Equestria" as you put it.
Discord is mischievous and playful, not bloodthirsty and psychotically sadistic.  The Everfree creatures act exactly as normal, untamed animals would act, not obviously psychotically.  You essentially gained the Necronomicon.  In Equestria.  That counts as grimdark to me.

He collapsed right there. When Physics Shift came to, he was surrounded by Timber Wolves, each one looking hungry, he panicked and cast the first spell that came to his mind, the Reality Distort, the pack of Timber Wolves went mad, some attacking timber wolves, some running in fear, others just howled and gnawed at the ground. Using the distraction to his advantage he grabbed the book and slowly crawled away from the pack, feeling rather weak, and the only thing he could think of was how he casted a spell he never used or heard of before without ever practicing it?
because tome of eldritch lore gives you op instant-learning powers?
Well no, but spell books used by the worshipers of eldritch beings give you powers. Besides, would you risk insanity for simple knowledge? I mean if your going to risk your mind the reward should better well be good.
I would not risk insanity for any reward.  Only fools would give up who they are and destroy themselves in the pursuit of knowledge.

When he came back to Ponyville, he was greeted by worried parents, but after hugging their little Colt, they noticed that on his flank was a Cutie Mark! The same symbol as on the book, but little weird for a cutie mark. Physics grades in school leaped up higher then ever before, everything just being sort of clearer to him, yet one by one he slowly lost his friends, all in schemes that left them worse for wear and Physics without a scratch or blame on him, each time with Physics gaining something of value from the scheme, sometimes that used to belong to said friend. He grew up friendless and manipulative, never asking for what he wanted, rather tricking those around him into giving it to him.
so you made a villain, that's nice.  a mini-discord, from the sounds of it.
This ain't mini-discord territory, this is manipulative bully territory.
which is different from Discord how, exactly?

Currently he lives in the same house that he lived as a little colt, after his parents moved away for business related reason. He spends most of his time studying magic that's borderline illegal, sometimes not even borderline, sure he generally can't use most spell due to how complicated they are, but Physics tries anyway.
a criminal egomaniac
No argument here, Physics Shift was never meant to be a heroic good guy.
Remember that this is Equestria, not Middle Earth, not Warhammer, not DnD, not Skyrim, Equestria.  Think about it.

His other favorite pass time is trying to read that book with the strange symbol, but it mostly talks about is Chaos and some thing called "The Warp", though it does give him some great tips on how to manipulate others and such. He is very protective of  the book, even if he read most of it already. Physics also prefers if others don't go into his house, what with it being full to them brim with illegal spell scrolls, books about Discord and chaos, and it just being a general mess that he's embarrassed of. He sometimes comes out of his home, just to check around the area, see if theirs anything of interest near town, pay off some people to keep quite about his magic studies, research legal magic, and eat some food, as even with magic powers Physics was still mortal, and needed outside contact with the outside world least he starve to death in his house. His main source of income is selling said illegal spells to criminals and magic enthusiasts who don't know were to place boundaries.
not just a criminal egomaniac, a trafficker of illegal goods.
Yup, thought the life of crime isn't always easy, after all, in my second RP, I get caught for doing so.
E-q-u-e-s-t-r-i-a.  You're a trafficker, in Equestria.  Think about it.

So that's my OC, if anyone has any critiques about his looks, his back story, or if he's over powered or not, let me know.

I think you know by now what my opinion of this is.  40k simply does not meld with Equestria, in my opinion.  You're taking a show about peace and harmony and friendship, about forgiving enemies and helping others, about thankfulness and the danger of hatred, about the power of love and the pain of misunderstandings, and for some reason you're bringing a grimdark world of death and endless war into it.  I'm sorry, but I cannot condone a character like this.

I would suggest talking to the Lord of Madness; his OC started out quite similar to yours in terms of power and grimdarkness, but he gradually changed his to match the setting.
IThe two franchises have a surprising alot in common, Luna and Celestia background and the Horus Heresy being the most obvious and largest one. It's mostly a reference and a reason to use the symbol of Tzeentch as a cutie mark. If you want, I could try to town down the references to it.
Remind me where in the series do you ever see death, blood, torture, explosives, or anything else that I'm not going to say due to the Forum Rules, in Equestria.

Sorry if I'm blunt about this.
No problems, the more blunt, the more easy it is to understand your critique, and rebutal it, or change my character to said critique.[/quote]

Also:

http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=2470.0

Read them, read them again, understand them in their entirety.  Particularly:

Section Three - In Character / Role-play Rules

15.) Family Friendly - These forums are accessible to everyone at any age, hence family friendly. This means your role-plays can not include gore, sexual intercourse, or violence. What you see in the show is what you can do in your role-plays.

16.) God modding - The term "God modding" comes from the term "God mode" which can be found in many video games; allowing the player to activate features such as invincibility, unlimited ammo or lives, or similar power boosts. In role-playing, "God modding" refers to a character taking on excessive powers or behaving as if they have no vulnerabilities. This is more of a juvenile thing to do, and it will not be tolerated here.

17.) Powerplaying - "Powerplaying" refers to when a role-player takes control of another person's character that is not their own. The only characters you are allowed to play as, talk as, and control are your own. The only exception to powerplaying, is if you and your partner both agree that you can control one another's character(s).

[the dark gods]

Spoiler: response • show

[quote author=the dark gods link=topic=5021.msg395622#msg395622 date=1350164666]

Magic Stamina: High, can cast spells for half a hour with only minor fatigue.
are you sure this is not overpowered? most real-world fights last less than half a minute, and spells are canonically draining.  having that level of stamina makes you seem on a level above the princesses, which is the very definition of overpowered.  can we not have normal ponies in this place for once?
We never really see the average unicorn demonstrate how much stamina they have the largest reference I have is Twilight, the strongest unicorn in all of Equestria, and we never see her use magic for long period of time. How much would you suggest, 10 minutes?
Or less.  Like you've said, "we never see her use magic for long periods of time", and she is "the strongest unicorn in all of Equestria".  Trying to make your OC comparable to her is tantamount to godmodding.
I've already changed it to 10 minutes, and once again, I have no real reference point for magical stamina.

Intelligence: Smart, though slightly insane and arrogant, resulting in something obvious being ignored.
i don't get the appeal of having insane OCs.  almost every single OC is insane for some reason, and the ones that aren't never manage to reign in the others.  it makes for a rather chilling realization that the entire world is supposedly filled with psychopaths and egomaniacs.
Minor insane, as in he will ignore the obvious is he doesn't seem to like it, not full on blown insanity. Mental Disorder is probably a better term, but then again, I'm no psychiatrist.
Clarification would be nice in that respect.
He ignores obvious things sometimes. I've stated the insane thing he does, I'm not writing my OCs entire psyche.
Personality: Arrogant, and somewhat of a loner, prefers to work alone, yet if working with others yields more benefits he is willing to spend time and work with other ponies. He also has a habit of thinking out loud occasionally, making it sound like he forgets things then remembers then instantly.
so like Trixie?
The only similarity I see is arrogance .Though we don't know if Trixie works well with others, or if she thinks out loud. We can assume she likes to take credit for others work due to arrogance, but no idea if she will or will not work with others, and she never thought out load on screen to my knowledge.
So a mix between Gollum, Pinkamena and Trixie?
Yes.
Spell List
1. Invisibility: Self explanatory. Lasts 1 minute 30 seconds, needs 2 minutes 30 seconds before needing to be recast on Physics shift.
2. Thought implant: Essentially subtle telepathy, with a range of 10 meters, can only target one pony.
it's called brainwashing, it's taking away a pony's free will and dominating it with yours.  It's quite cruel.
It's not brainwashing, more like "I think of something, and the thought comes into your mind" their is a reason why I said Telepathy, the person isn't forced to do it, they just get the idea of what I thought. I mean if the person is rash and just does things without thinking them over, it might work like brainwashing.
"thought implant" implies implanting an idea into a pony's head against their will.  maybe renaming it?
I am putting a idea in their mind, I don't see anywhere in "Thought Implant" were it says or sounds like they have to go through with the thought, the one time I used it to try to control someone, it was countered. But I'll change it to "Telepathy (subtle) Nicknamed: Thought Implant".

4. Telekinesis: Generic telekinesis, can lift up to 100 pounds.
from what's been demonstrated on the show? OP.
A average human can bench press something about 115 pounds, so Physics is actually slightly weaker then a average human with his telekinesis.
But not from a distance and not for any sustained amount of time.  Maybe if you made a reference to a distance constraint and time constraint and mental strain?
20 meters -5 pounds every meter further then that, good?

5. Fireball: A weird blue fireball, explodes in a 5 meter wide explosion, burning anything inside the blast radius, direction can be controlled for 20 meters then it keeps going in last direction it went until it hit's something, or after 50 meters it dispreces. Flames last for 10 seconds after blast, easily spamable.
OP and inappropriate to the setting
Twilight can shot lasers, even spam them rather well, so their ARE attack spells in Equestria, and how is it OP, explain so I can make it less so.
Inappropriate specifically to Legends of Equestria Forums, where there is a clear no-violence rule on the Forum Rules list.  Five meters is essentially inescapable, and "burning anything inside the blast radius" constitutes violence, and you do not specify the damage, unless it's complete incineration, which is overpowered due to being one-hit-kill shots.  Spammability also.  It's bringing a gun into a world where swords and hooves are the main weapons.  And as I've said before, Twilight is THE most powerful sorceress in Equestria, trying to match her is essentially godmodding.
Incinerate within 1 meter radius, scorch within 2 meters, burn with 5? Unicorns have ranged attacks, it's even confirmed in game. And Twilight is the only Unicorn we see on screen for long periods of time.

7. Scry: Get the info from 20 or less pages without actually reading it regardless of language, requires contact with the piece of literature. Gives Physics mild headache from knowledge overload.
seems OP due to zero-language-barrier.
I can't really remove the zero-language barrier thing, important to the back story. Besides a spell has to be useful, otherwise no one would use it.
do try to remember what world you're in.
Equestria? And their are multiple species, so their should be a language barrier, meanign this spell would be useful.

8. Madness: Causes a individual within 50 meters of Physics shift to be driven temporarily mad, lasts 5 minutes, only one being can be affected by madness at a time, more feral the creature the less effective the spell is.
completely inappropriate and OP.
It's a non-lethal attack, besides if the want it need it spell is in show, this is spell isn't that inappropriate. Irrational love of random object, and irrational thinking aren't to far apart.
The Forum Rules concerning Powerplaying do not agree.  When you get to puppeteer another character, I call that powerplaying, and that's just plain inappropriate and overpowered.  And Want It Need It is portrayed in an EXTREMELY negative light for a reason.
Affecting another person isn't the same as controlling them. But if it's much, I'll just have it KO ponies via overload with mind with elderitch images. Or is that power playing?

12. Reality Distort: Physics shift eyes start to glow, and within a 10 meter radius from Physics shift, the world starts to become distorted, non existing colors fill the air, and chants from Tartarus itself are heard, The distortion lasts for 20 seconds. Anyone within the distortion effect suffers as if as though he was hit with the madness spell, anyone who looks into the area suffers from physical sickness and pain and a un-explainable fear that lasts 10 seconds after they stop looking. This spell cannot be cast within a day from the last casting, and it leaves physics shift extremely exhausted, and no other spell can be cast for half a hour.
OP.
Well this is my strongest spell, and it greatly weakens Physics afterwords, complete physical exhaustion AND no spells for half a hour? if this fails in a fight, and Physics has no way of resting, he's a goner. Besides, if your not physically close to Physics, closing your eyes is a valid counter to this.
It's. Reality. Warping.  Since when was reality warping NOT OP?
It's not reality warping, I'm making the world LOOK insane to temporarily drive people mad.

(12 seems like a reasonable number of spells, what with Twilight, the strongest Unicorn ever knowing 25 or more spells)
except that almost all of them are overpowered and/or inappropriate.
Already gone through the list.
please reread the Forum Rules.
I did.

Bio: As a child Physics shift was a average colt. He went to the school in Ponyville, had slightly above average grades, slightly less then an average amount of friends, the only thing that stuck out about him was that he would explore the outskirts of the EverFree.

One time while looking for something to do within the EverFree he found a crater, within the crater was a armored being. It was tall, and some weird looking shade of purple. The being itself was dead as a rock, burnt beyond belief, but a symbol that looks like a cross between burning eye and crescent moon was somewhat easier to make out on the body, the belt and the mysterious looking objects on it were all burnt as well, except for a single thick black leather bound book with that weird marking on it.
*sigh* why aliens, all the time, every time I read an OC it's aliens or monsters or alternate dimensions.  Why can't we have normal, everyday, sane and happy Equestrian citizens for once?  Why does there have to be death, destruction, curses, war and torture, everywhere?
Because RPing as a normal pony is boring? Their is a reason why D&D is about adventure & out of the ordinary things and not living a normal life. Though would you suggest a simple mage pony rather then Chaos Sorcerer?
There's a reason this isn't the DnD Fan Forums.  It's Legends of Equestria, a My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Fan-Game Forum.  I would suggest a normal unicorn with normal powers that has a job and friends and would not seem completely out of place in Ponyville, Canterlot, Manehattan and every single other area in Equestria as depicted in the show.  Otherwise you're just making an alicorn by any other name.
No. A Alicorn has the atributes of all 3 types of ponies. Can Physics fly? No. Is Physics strong? No. The best he can be is a strong unicorn. And anyway, their ARE alicorn OCs on this forum.

Physics Shift tried reading the book, but looking at the words gave him a headache, so he tried his scry spell on the book. It worked...and his mind was instantly filled with insane gibberish, from the partsts he heard, his mind seemed more clear, and he could think better and faster, but it also made him somewhat insane, telling him that he was never at fault for anything, and only others were fallible, and how he should look into complicated things, rather then the "obvious" dumb things, along with these mind change, he learned new spells, dark some would say, but others would say useful.
and that's where suspension of disbelief stops for me.  grimdark equestria, whoo.  how is this even tangentially similar to the ponies that live and work and breath in the show?
Any suggestions to make it less grimdark? Besides, their IS Discord a god of chaos, the EverFree forest is full of horrible creatures. And a anecdotal event within the EverFree forest, the Grimdarkest place within the show, is hardly "Grimdark Equestria" as you put it.
Discord is mischievous and playful, not bloodthirsty and psychotically sadistic.  The Everfree creatures act exactly as normal, untamed animals would act, not obviously psychotically.  You essentially gained the Necronomicon.  In Equestria.  That counts as grimdark to me.
I have some grimdark stuff in my background. And Discord did break up a group of friends, emotional breaking one in the process for 'fun' as he could have simply hid the elements from them, rather then mind control them.

He collapsed right there. When Physics Shift came to, he was surrounded by Timber Wolves, each one looking hungry, he panicked and cast the first spell that came to his mind, the Reality Distort, the pack of Timber Wolves went mad, some attacking timber wolves, some running in fear, others just howled and gnawed at the ground. Using the distraction to his advantage he grabbed the book and slowly crawled away from the pack, feeling rather weak, and the only thing he could think of was how he casted a spell he never used or heard of before without ever practicing it?
because tome of eldritch lore gives you op instant-learning powers?
Well no, but spell books used by the worshipers of eldritch beings give you powers. Besides, would you risk insanity for simple knowledge? I mean if your going to risk your mind the reward should better well be good.
I would not risk insanity for any reward.  Only fools would give up who they are and destroy themselves in the pursuit of knowledge.
A RISK, besides it was that ponies choice, for Physics it was complete accident.

When he came back to Ponyville, he was greeted by worried parents, but after hugging their little Colt, they noticed that on his flank was a Cutie Mark! The same symbol as on the book, but little weird for a cutie mark. Physics grades in school leaped up higher then ever before, everything just being sort of clearer to him, yet one by one he slowly lost his friends, all in schemes that left them worse for wear and Physics without a scratch or blame on him, each time with Physics gaining something of value from the scheme, sometimes that used to belong to said friend. He grew up friendless and manipulative, never asking for what he wanted, rather tricking those around him into giving it to him.
so you made a villain, that's nice.  a mini-discord, from the sounds of it.
This ain't mini-discord territory, this is manipulative bully territory.
which is different from Discord how, exactly?
Physics cons his friends, Discords destroys groups of friends when their are easier ways to achive his goals, Discord also has the hole "CHAOS AND ANARCHY" thing, Physics on the other hand isn't not a anarchist.

Currently he lives in the same house that he lived as a little colt, after his parents moved away for business related reason. He spends most of his time studying magic that's borderline illegal, sometimes not even borderline, sure he generally can't use most spell due to how complicated they are, but Physics tries anyway.
a criminal egomaniac
No argument here, Physics Shift was never meant to be a heroic good guy.
Remember that this is Equestria, not Middle Earth, not Warhammer, not DnD, not Skyrim, Equestria.  Think about it.
So? Just because the show never focuses on it, doesn't mean their are no criminals. To put it this way. "We never see Shining Armor eat on screne, ergo Shining Armor must not need to eat"

His other favorite pass time is trying to read that book with the strange symbol, but it mostly talks about is Chaos and some thing called "The Warp", though it does give him some great tips on how to manipulate others and such. He is very protective of  the book, even if he read most of it already. Physics also prefers if others don't go into his house, what with it being full to them brim with illegal spell scrolls, books about Discord and chaos, and it just being a general mess that he's embarrassed of. He sometimes comes out of his home, just to check around the area, see if theirs anything of interest near town, pay off some people to keep quite about his magic studies, research legal magic, and eat some food, as even with magic powers Physics was still mortal, and needed outside contact with the outside world least he starve to death in his house. His main source of income is selling said illegal spells to criminals and magic enthusiasts who don't know were to place boundaries.
not just a criminal egomaniac, a trafficker of illegal goods.
Yup, thought the life of crime isn't always easy, after all, in my second RP, I get caught for doing so.
E-q-u-e-s-t-r-i-a.  You're a trafficker, in Equestria.  Think about it.
Are you implying that their are no Criminal in Equestria? They have a dungeon, obviously they must have criminal or they would not need one.

So that's my OC, if anyone has any critiques about his looks, his back story, or if he's over powered or not, let me know.

I think you know by now what my opinion of this is.  40k simply does not meld with Equestria, in my opinion.  You're taking a show about peace and harmony and friendship, about forgiving enemies and helping others, about thankfulness and the danger of hatred, about the power of love and the pain of misunderstandings, and for some reason you're bringing a grimdark world of death and endless war into it.  I'm sorry, but I cannot condone a character like this.

I would suggest talking to the Lord of Madness; his OC started out quite similar to yours in terms of power and grimdarkness, but he gradually changed his to match the setting.
IThe two franchises have a surprising alot in common, Luna and Celestia background and the Horus Heresy being the most obvious and largest one. It's mostly a reference and a reason to use the symbol of Tzeentch as a cutie mark. If you want, I could try to town down the references to it.
Remind me where in the series do you ever see death, blood, torture, explosives, or anything else that I'm not going to say due to the Forum Rules, in Equestria.
40k=grimdark grimdark=/=40k. Their is more to it then just grimdark.
Let me put it this way. Their is a god like being that rules a species, 1,000/10,000 of years ago a close family member who was related to the word Luna (Luna has the name, Horus has his legion being called Luna wolves) betrayed them. Both beings have guards who have gold armor and use primarily spears. Both describe Celestia and the GEoM. Also the whole Chaos God being in both, my avatar even shows it!

Sorry if I'm blunt about this.
No problems, the more blunt, the more easy it is to understand your critique, and rebutal it, or change my character to said critique.

[/spoiler]

Also:

http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=2470.0

Read them, read them again, understand them in their entirety.  Particularly:

Section Three - In Character / Role-play Rules

15.) Family Friendly - These forums are accessible to everyone at any age, hence family friendly. This means your role-plays can not include gore, sexual intercourse, or violence. What you see in the show is what you can do in your role-plays.

16.) God modding - The term "God modding" comes from the term "God mode" which can be found in many video games; allowing the player to activate features such as invincibility, unlimited ammo or lives, or similar power boosts. In role-playing, "God modding" refers to a character taking on excessive powers or behaving as if they have no vulnerabilities. This is more of a juvenile thing to do, and it will not be tolerated here.

17.) Powerplaying - "Powerplaying" refers to when a role-player takes control of another person's character that is not their own. The only characters you are allowed to play as, talk as, and control are your own. The only exception to powerplaying, is if you and your partner both agree that you can control one another's character(s).

15. Describe violence. Star Wars is family friendly, they have fight scenes in it, unless you
16. I've been nerfing my character already.
17. I can't take control of a person, I can temporarily drive them insane, for 2 minutes, that's a really short time, but fine, editing it to a KO spell.
[/quote]

[SweBow]

Star Wars is PG rated. Our forums is General, anyone from any age is welcome here.
You really, really need to nerf your player more.

My backstory of my OC is that she just wanted to fly to the star. She flew above the clouds where the stars are and when she was flying back, the stars flew down with her (If you need the technical term it's called "Falling Star"). Nothing special there really, her special talent is therefore to fly high.

For me, this thread bring up the classical term of "Mary Sue".

[the dark gods]

Star Wars is PG rated. Our forums is General, anyone from any age is welcome here.

Ok then, let me use another example, their is a fight scene within MLP itself, the second episode of the Weading, Twilght even shoots energy...things at Changelings, so a fireball isn't that out of the question.

You really, really need to nerf your player more.

Nerf how? The two things I've been doing so far was making Physics Powers less and less effective, and making his story less 40k referencing.

My backstory of my OC is that she just wanted to fly to the star. She flew above the clouds where the stars are and when she was flying back, the stars flew down with her (If you need the technical term it's called "Falling Star"). Nothing special there really, her special talent is therefore to fly high.

Nice story.

For me, this thread bring up the classical term of "Mary Sue".

How? He's a Unicorn who's good at magic, has a successful criminal carrier. But he's also a mild jerk, he's arrogant, he's overconfident, he's a coward who will run from a fight if he can, if he can't get prep-time he will be rash in his decisions making, and he's a loner who drives away most of the people he meets. He's not a Mary Sue, he has his fair share of flaws.

[Dandy Lion]

I'm just going to discuss general in Mary Sue-making since I'm not that into any roleplaying here.

A Mary Sue is not only about if a character is overpowered, it's about a character being cliché and dull. First thing, your colour scheme is a bit weird, having all blue in almost the same hues. Consider changing the coat into grey, pastell yellow or something like that.

All your magic feels like it's battle specific (Or at least something that must have taken years and more years to master). The interesting in a character isn't their powers, it's their weaknesses. Imagine a unicorn that only has the power of, let's say, freezing water, like Frozone in The Incredibles. The first thought is that s/he can only freeze normal water, like in a glass, or a bathtub. But s/he could also freeze water on the ground to create ice that the enemy slips on. It's about playing with the limitations, making it interesting and creative.
A great example in-show with that is Rarity's find-gem-spell she taught Twilight. Twilight doesn't have a "locate my friends and then go and find them"-spell. They used logic ("These diamond dogs wanted to use Rarity's talent, so they must be were the most gems are!") and then a "normal" powered spell to do something really great.

Even if your character's special talent is magic, there is still a limit. Among the whole bunch of magic Twilight can do, some of those Spike consider impressive is growing a moustache. GROWING A MOUSTACHE. She has one "failproof spell" that we don't even know what it's supposed to do since it failed, most of her spells are things for normalday use, like levitation.

Your argument about Celestia and Luna not being gods, and Cadence being a babysister, that is just bad excuses. Celestia and Luna has lived for thousands of years. They could have had hundreds of years studying and training magic, your character wouldn't match that in a lifetime (And absolutely not in those 10 years he probably tops have trained for if he's 22, guessing getting your CM would be normal at the age of 10-15). Cadence is an alicorn, we have only seen royals as alicorns so far (minus the animation error in Twilight's magical kindergarden-imagination) and yet her only spell is bringing up the positive energy ponies have about each other, ergo "love".

[Chishio Kunrin]

Star Wars is PG rated. Our forums is General, anyone from any age is welcome here.

Ok then, let me use another example, their is a fight scene within MLP itself, the second episode of the Weading, Twilght even shoots energy...things at Changelings, so a fireball isn't that out of the question.

The only thing I have to point out is that it seems the energy things that Twilight shot at the changelings removed their illusions, thus revealing which ones were changelings and which ones were really ponies.

[McSleuthburger]

let me start off by saying that these are all recommendations, though I'll be repeating some of what Dnady Lion said

Nerfing of the character - I understand you want to make your character a 40k reference, but it is kinda hard to make something something from 40k an good rping character for mlp. These are two vastly different things so trying to make them work together is rather difficult. I would say have him not know as many spells, I know in 40k that may seem balanced but with unicorns in mlp usually unicorns do not know that wide variety of spells, basically maybe have him strong with one type of magic and working on trying to boost up another type (ex. like have him good with deception spells but then not good with combat spells)

Swe was just giving an example of a backstory that is not having a OC as being overpowered, a simple more realistic mlp backstory that people will be more willing to rp with

But I would say defiantly get rid of the madness spell because nopony like to have their own OC controled by somebody else even if it is for a short time