Physics Shift, my OC

[the dark gods]

I'm just going to discuss general in Mary Sue-making since I'm not that into any roleplaying here.

Your Critique seem to be the most valid, thank you for posting it.

A Mary Sue is not only about if a character is overpowered, it's about a character being cliché and dull. First thing, your colour scheme is a bit weird, having all blue in almost the same hues. Consider changing the coat into grey, pastell yellow or something like that.

Physics is a arrogant criminal, who chose to be a criminal because he found the idea exciting, not out of desperation, a way to describe him is "(slightly) rich pony playing criminal", he does this becuase he's arrogant and feels a need to make himself feel "special", I haven't really found that used to much in fiction. Besides I havent found any OCs on this site who are just criminals, he's a small time evil character, but not the destroyer of worlds, he's sells magic stuff to ponies with cash. I'll prefer to keep the coat blue, I'll try to think of some other colors that won't make him a male Trixie.

All your magic feels like it's battle specific (Or at least something that must have taken years and more years to master). The interesting in a character isn't their powers, it's their weaknesses. Imagine a unicorn that only has the power of, let's say, freezing water, like Frozone in The Incredibles. The first thought is that s/he can only freeze normal water, like in a glass, or a bathtub. But s/he could also freeze water on the ground to create ice that the enemy slips on. It's about playing with the limitations, making it interesting and creative.

One of his powers was a literal gift from a magic book, and to be fair, it's only immediately useful at a close range, at longer distances you can just close your eyes and you'll resist the effect, but if it's to OP, I'll just change it to a simple, area of effect fear spell, that good? The others spells make sense for Physics to have. Shade and invisibility, sneak through places when holding illegal objects. Madness, need to get through someone who you just can't sneak through, here's your spell. Telepathy (subtle) need to talk to someone without letting others hear your conversation, here you go. And for the fireball, Physics job requires he walk in the EverFree forest, he's going to need to atleast scare off animals sometimes, but I'll nerf it so it's less OP. Scry seems like a good spell to have for personal purposes, so does teleport, cleanse object, telekinesis, and flash. I'll remove Dazzler to make have less of a repituar, and make him notably older and so it makes more sense for him to have these spells.

A great example in-show with that is Rarity's find-gem-spell she taught Twilight. Twilight doesn't have a "locate my friends and then go and find them"-spell. They used logic ("These diamond dogs wanted to use Rarity's talent, so they must be were the most gems are!") and then a "normal" powered spell to do something really great.

Fair enough, personally can't think of a way to incorperate that into Physisc, got any suggestions.

Even if your character's special talent is magic, there is still a limit. Among the whole bunch of magic Twilight can do, some of those Spike consider impressive is growing a moustache. GROWING A MOUSTACHE. She has one "failproof spell" that we don't even know what it's supposed to do since it failed, most of her spells are things for normalday use, like levitation.

I see your point, going to nerf more then.

Your argument about Celestia and Luna not being gods, and Cadence being a babysister, that is just bad excuses. Celestia and Luna has lived for thousands of years. They could have had hundreds of years studying and training magic, your character wouldn't match that in a lifetime (And absolutely not in those 10 years he probably tops have trained for if he's 22, guessing getting your CM would be normal at the age of 10-15). Cadence is an alicorn, we have only seen royals as alicorns so far (minus the animation error in Twilight's magical kindergarden-imagination) and yet her only spell is bringing up the positive energy ponies have about each other, ergo "love".

I actually never said Celestia and Luna aren't gods, I've actually said "Alicorns aren't gods, just because the two sisters are both gods and Alicorns doesn't mean it's the same for all of them" or something to that effect. And we haven't seen much of Cadence to judge all her spells, she's been in one episode, which most of the time she was a few moments after her being broken out of a cave. I'll make him older, 31 seem like a fairer age for his skill set?

Star Wars is PG rated. Our forums is General, anyone from any age is welcome here.

Ok then, let me use another example, their is a fight scene within MLP itself, the second episode of the Weading, Twilght even shoots energy...things at Changelings, so a fireball isn't that out of the question.

The only thing I have to point out is that it seems the energy things that Twilight shot at the changelings removed their illusions, thus revealing which ones were changelings and which ones were really ponies.

More likely a kinetic blast that just distracted the Changelings from their spell. I mean a de-cloaking spell seems WAY to specialized to learn without planning for that exact situation.

let me start off by saying that these are all recommendations, though I'll be repeating some of what Dnady Lion said

Nerfing of the character - I understand you want to make your character a 40k reference, but it is kinda hard to make something something from 40k an good rping character for mlp. These are two vastly different things so trying to make them work together is rather difficult. I would say have him not know as many spells, I know in 40k that may seem balanced but with unicorns in mlp usually unicorns do not know that wide variety of spells, basically maybe have him strong with one type of magic and working on trying to boost up another type (ex. like have him good with deception spells but then not good with combat spells)

Swe was just giving an example of a backstory that is not having a OC as being overpowered, a simple more realistic mlp backstory that people will be more willing to rp with

But I would say defiantly get rid of the madness spell because nopony like to have their own OC controled by somebody else even if it is for a short time

I already turned Madness into a KO spell, done via sensory overload, and going to make Physics into more a illusionist/minor mind manipulator (cause massed fear and telepathy), going to make his fire ball spell MUCH more pathetic now. Also most of the 40k stuff now is just a minor reference, and so I can use a symbol from 40k as his cutie mark.

[Lord of Madness]

Feels like an intense debate is going on up in here.

[the dark gods]

Feels like an intense debate is going on up in here.

Well you just missed it.
I already caved in and nerfed my combat ability to be more focused on avoiding combat and less multi-classing (even if it was just having a good back up attack), and made my 'special attack'...actually roughly the same in power, it just sounds less cool and OP. Physics is a illusionist, with a token attack spell that hits very lightly.

[Lord of Madness]

I guess I Dont get to throw my wisdom into the process than I find its very hard to please everyone. but its a good feeling when you do or at least get very close to it. I have pretty much/nearly accomplished that with my OC. Ether way I'm sure your on your way to an awesome OC ^3^

[the dark gods]

Well you can still Critique my new and improved character profile. After all, their is no reason to say my new Physics Shift is any more perfect then the last.

[Chirp]

You got The man, The voice, THE LEGEND! to comment on your OC. Congratulations.

[the dark gods]

Ok I took Dandy Lions advice and changed Physics color scheme a little, his hair is a different shade of blue more different this his body, and his eyes are now Green.

[Perry The Pony]

Since the topic has caused so many issues I am just going to lock it.  Follow the rules and think a bit before trying to dance around the rules okay?  Also to everyone else do not rule dictate at all.  Only ponies allowed to do that are moderation team and team leaders.