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Started by Midnight Breeze, 2012 Oct 02, 02:00:48
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QuoteSo far, you've done a really good job with keeping the mane 6's personalities accurate. I'm a little worried about how buddy buddy they are with Midnight, though. They're using nicknames... most of which the mane 6 don't use with each other, save for "Dashie", which is only used by Pinkie Pie, if I recall correctly... Maybe "Twi" used used by Applejack...
QuoteThe other thing that bothers me is how... um... graphic the scene with the Ursa Minor is. I know you're objective was to injure Midnight, but I think you went a little overboard with how much explaining of his injuries you did. Then again, I'm a little weak and cringe at the slightest sign of discomfort. Just the mere mention of "bone against bone" makes me uneasy.I would recommend using a more animated style of injuring Midnight, something less "real". Maybe something like Midnight getting swatted and sailing across the room in a sideways barrel roll. Just no open wounds or blood or bones snapping or shattering or... yeah.
Quote from: Midnight Breeze on 2012 Nov 18, 00:01:01I actually was a little worried that the mods would come down on the story for this part. I know it's pretty grimdark for an MLP setting but a comical scene probably wouldn't have cut it. My intention was for Midnight to be crippled. Not just beat up. It's hard to cripple a character without broken and shattered bones involved.