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Started by Gracie Sky, 2012 Sep 02, 01:43:33
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Quote from: Gracie Sky on 2012 Sep 06, 21:21:59This critique is for Nightshade by BlackVortex.One look at this pony's name and I can tell she's probably going to have some sort of talent regarding the night or darkness.Her history is a little scary to me. Having an ear bitten off by a hydra, running away from school, and being a troublemaker. The encounter with the Hydra scares me the most, though, because Hydras are always bad news to ponies. I don't really know whether or not I would approve of giving a pony a scar, due to how traumatic this would be. Of course, it's your character and it's not completely out of the ordinary for ponies to get attacked by Hydras, especially if said ponies are being particularly foolish with wandering out in Hydra areas.Nonetheless, it seems this fiasco was quite troublesome long after it happened. It seems to have turned her into a sort of rebel. Every time I read about a pony who spends a long time being alone, it makes me a bit sad, since there's so much friendship in Equestria looking for her. Then again, maybe it's not her time to discover friendship. It took Twilight quite a while to find it, after all.Now, one thing I do like about this character is her ability to foresee the future through the stars. That's definitely something you should focus more on, since the night sky is infinite, and so are the possibilities with this talent. I'm not sure what the marking on her shoulder means, but I'll leave that to you to surprise me with when the time comes.
Quote from: Gracie Sky on 2012 Sep 16, 01:24:53I will re-review an OC if I deem there enough change/improvement to warrant additional comments. To that extent, I will only address the new material and how the OC in general may have improved over its old incarnation.And StarSong, I've glanced at your OC and I would recommend you give more information on them, I have nothing to really critique, maybe save for her personality and appearance. If I were to review it now, it would be a very short review.
Quote from: Gracie Sky on 2012 Oct 08, 19:03:32This is a critique for Cold Sprinkle by Nala Valor.Hmm, this character is unique in several ways.There are many ponies who live in orphanages, but this is the first time I've seen one that actually lives there with his/her parents, who run it. And I could see how running an orphanage would occupy her parents to the point where they have trouble spending time with her for the other children. It's quite a predicament. I must say this is one of the best uses for an orphanage I've seen to date.I really do enjoy ice skating ponies, although I think your approach to it is a little awkward. There are ice skates in Equestria, you know? It doesn't seem likely that she would carve knives and stick them on her hooves and accidentally walk on ice. I would suggest another approach for her cutie mark discovery.She seems to be an okay character. I think there needs to be more explanation on her personality. Her cutie mark needs a bit of revision, as well. I like the scarf, by the way.