NomDePlume's OC's

[NomDePlume]

Only one for now! 

Name: Nom De Plume (Or just Plume for short)
Age: 18 in pony years
Gender: Female
Type: Earth Pony
Special Talent: Writing
Personality: Quiet, observant, and very reserved. Even around her friends, she prefers to listen rather than talk, but will speak her mind when necessary.
Home: A small cottage close to the library, perfect for a pony who needs to research things.
Bio: (In progress, bear with me please!) Nom De Plume was born to a Manehatten family with a rather large fortune, meaning that she was provided for in every aspect of her life... Well, almost every aspect. Money can't buy happiness, and because of how quiet she was, Plume almost never made friends. One thing money could pay for was good schools and tons of tutors to help Plume become the most successful pony she could be. Her parents hoped for her to strike it rich in business, like her father did, but Plume wasn't interested in being a business pony. She didn't mind doing the work, though. At least her parents were looking out for her, and she wanted to make them proud.

Plume's family ended up moving to Ponyville right before school started, and when the first day rolled around, Plume noticed that everything was... different. A good type of different. Her old schools were boring, but strict and the one thing she hated about them was that she had to wear itchy uniforms and they were incredibly strict. This one was bright and colorful, and she was able to be who she wanted to be.

The school year went on, assignment came and went, but one event in particular would change Plume's life forever. The town newspaper had asked the students of Ponyville Elementary to write short stories/articles and submit them in an effort to raise their sales. The student with the best paper would have their stories published in the newspaper, and every foal wanted this opportunity. Plume was unsure at first, confused about what she should write about and confused whether she should submit a story or not. She worked up the courage and wrote an article about creativity, comparing her old school to her new one and how her school encouraged her to be herself, titling it "How I Learned to be Myself." When she was finished, Plume read through the essay and gave a huge smile. She was happy with her writing, and submit the work to her teacher.

Several weeks passed and the newspaper printed its next edition. Ponies were flocking to the stand and there were only a few copies left. Plume fearfully picked one up and slowly scanned the pages. Then: she saw it. "How I Learned to be Myself" in bold print with her story underneath. A huge smile appeared on her cheeks and all of her worry disappeared. They liked her story! They really liked it! Something inside of her felt different. A little odd. The pony at the newsstand smiled to Plume and said, "Congratulations, on both your story and your cutie mark!" Plume's eyes widened and she looked towards her flank. Two crossed pencils were there, a cutie mark to show her talent: writing. "Say, little filly," the News Pony asked Plume, "Would you like to write some more stories for our paper? This one's amazing, and we'd love to see more!" Plume gratefully accepted and dashed home to write some more.

In the years since she recieved her cutie mark, Plume has become a successful author and the editor of the Ponyville Express. She can usually be found in the cafe, the park, or sitting in Ponyville Square, where she'll probably be reading, writing, or drawing.

Picture:

[Gracie Sky]

I'd like to start off by stating how adorable I find this particular OC. It's not really just the appearance, though. It's the nuances about it. She looks bright, cheerful, naively optomistic! A simple pony without that simplicity being the focus of the character. Of course, that could just be the way you've drawn her, but the paragraph about her that you wrote doesn't seem to contradict my initial impressions of her.

It almost makes me not want to say anything bad about her design, but alas.

The first thing that doesn't sit well with me is the reasoning behind choosing to live next to the Everfree Forest. Unless all her stories are about trees or nature, I'm not sure what sort of inspiration she is drawing from the most dangerous forest in Equestria. If what she wanted was a nice secluded spot to concentrate at without being interrupted, I'm afraid given the fact that she lives in Ponyville, one of the quietest towns in Equestia surrounded by plains and fields, she could find a nice spot anywhere barring next to Sugar Cube Corner. It just seems needlessly dangerous to have her live next to the Forest, is all. It does seems like she's comfortable being around the Everfree, but you will need to tread lightly on this subject, since you don't want to portray the Everfree Forest as "tame".

This is just a detail, but I would avoid saying she is good at something, but then state she doesn't know her talent despite the aforementioned things that really interest her. It feels like you're working against what you just finished establishing concerning her love of literature. I would, though, give an additional sentence or two going deeper into her school life in relation to her writing pursuits.

The biggest change I'd like to see involves how she developed her cutie mark. Generally, cutie marks are earned during that "paradigm shift moment" when a pony did something amazing, realizes it, and then immediately feels gratification because of their success. It didn't seem to me like Plume went through that process when her cutie mark appeared. It appeared when the newspaper with her article was released, but you never state if the paper was a huge success or not. Even if it was successful, there is no indication that it was successful due to Plume's efforts. I recommend saying the newspaper was a big hit and Plume was credited for the success. While being congradulated for her hard work paying off, that's when her cutie mark should appear.

... How did she even get an exclusive interview with Princess Celestia anyway? What exactly did they talk about? I think a brief sentence or two (or three) covering that would be a terrific boon for this character, especially considering how this interview indirectly resulted in Plume's cutie mark.

Other than that, keep up the good work!

[NomDePlume]

Just updated Ms. Plume's story! Hope this sounds better, with a slightly larger "paradigm shift" moment. Con/Crit appreciated!