Zarky's OC's :3

[Zarky]

Name: Vauker
gender: Mare

Species: pony (but she will become, a unicorn, alicorn and finally will return to be a dragon)

Story: He was a evil dragon. he have fun stressing  every creature he found, causing troubles and deaths. But one day he annoyed a witch that turned him into a mare so she cant hurt anyone and stop her from conquer all the cities and villages has she want. Since then, Vauker will search for the way to return to his dragon form, and she will have to found the way to be magic to finally return to be a dragon. So thats why she was searching how to turn into a magical creature, and turned a unicorn, with some spells. But that wasnt enough magic to retirn to his dragon form. So she studied magic and become a alicorn while she was learning how to change forms. Finally she learn enough about magic to return to his dragon form, but just for a few minutes. She want to return to his dragon form full time, thats why she will try to learn the definitelly spell.

hability: she can speak and make dragons do her bidding because she once was one of them and a stronger one. She was often accompanied by big adult and agressive dragons.

Element: whose element was stress. (he can make anybody turn very nervous, acting mean or dumb)

Position: She was the evil guardian dragon of stress.

Personality: She is agressive and very nervous hyperactive. Has very crazy ideas. always mad at be a mare and saying that if she was a dragon again will do this and this other. Is always fumming and in a bad humor for be a mare but she gets happy evilly when she can cause trouble to someone. She will always be revel and bad intentioned and will take profit of anything to get fun.

[Shadow Mare]

What?!

[GlassMirror]

ok let's see here....

Gender: Girl or Boy? in the story, it's mixed
goes from a dragon to a pony to a Pegasus to a unicorn to a Alicorn then back to a dragon? How is that even possible? especially the Alicorn part
ANNND her or his element.

(he can ma ke anybody turn very nervious, acting mean or dumb and even die or kill someone)

This is so overpowered that it makes an Alicorn look like a regular pony plus killing someone or dying is not really allowed

so, fix everything

[Midnight Breeze]

You need a proofreader, sha. 

[Zarky]

to shadow mare: with your comment i can't know what you was meaning XD now i do, but next time please say somthing more than a what so i can understand what you wanna say XD and i see you use pony-dragons too? 0w0

to midnight breeze: well that wasn't really nice of you XD if you say that i need a proofreader have the decency to at least mention the things that are wrong so i can correct it. Just how Glass Mirror do. If you dont have more to say then don't be offensive at least.

to Glass Mirror: Thanks for comment all the errors (all of them XD) i will change it, if the character is too strong, then i will make her least powerful. She wont be able to make ponys kill others or die. She now just can make ponies go nervous. If it is allowed. if not, then she just do bad things to ponys (using magic tricks like Trixie does) and be mean to them (has if she was a school bully XD)

About the thing of her gender. She is a girl in her pony form. But in the dragon form (the original form) was a male. If it is too weird. i will let the character as a "she".

And about the change of forms. I don't know it was so weird. Just see in MLP series that Twilight Sparkle (the unicorn) turns into an alicorn. So why my character can't? XD (maybe im wrong and it was a fanmade video and never happens in the real serie? 0w0)

it is weird that a pegaso turned into a unicorn and then into an alicorn. It was an error when i write.

it is more logical that it was a unicorn that turns to an alicorn.

So the character was first a dragon that was turned to a pony (against her will) and after she got some magic she turns to a unicorn then a alicorn and when she finally has enough magic she will be able to return to her dragon form for at least a few minutes. But her dream is to return to her dragon form full time.

i will roleplay with that character starting when she is a pony and make her develop/grow up through the roleplaying.

She isn't a flat character, she is a round character (that in literature means characters that are complex and undergo development; physically and psychologically)

So: dragon-pony-unicorn-alicorn-dragon again. And she will change her way of think about ponies, and she will be less mean and become to be more good with them. (if she, while roleplaying, found a reason to stop hate ponies)

Is all of this not allowed? XD i better do a flat character?

[Tiger]

And about the change of forms. I don't know it was so weird. Just see in MLP series that Twilight Sparkle (the unicorn) turns into an alicorn. So why my character can't? XD (maybe im wrong and it was a fanmade video and never happens in the real serie? 0w0)

Well, I think this is the issue.

In the show, it's stated implied that only a few rare ponies become worthy of becoming alicorns from normal ponies (the only two known doing so being Twilight and Cadance, Cadance was a pegasus that became an alicorn as stated in one of the storybook things). Usually the thing people look out for in OCs is believable-ness (that's a word now). If we can believe that an OC can exist in the show, people think of those as good OCs. However alicorn OCs are not quite as believable since there are only 4 known alicorns in existence (possibly only 3 before Twilight came along) as stated in the finale of season 4. If there were any other alicorns, they would've been mentioned in the show. The fact that they're not makes them not-so-believable.

Yes, you say she was a unicorn before becoming an alicorn, but it's quite essentially the same concept of believable-ness. Celestia (or one of the other princesses?) said that their alicorn magic can't just disappear - So, naturally, we can assume that it can't just appear out of nowhere as well. Presumably, Twilight's magic might've come from some previous alicorn that was no longer and was lingering about until Twilight became an alicorn and she absorbed that magic.

I guess we can assume this alicorn was that alicorn or something.

Spoiler: Alicorn in a book • show

Basically, if your unicorn were to transform into an alicorn as well, the alicorn magic would have had to come from somewhere, too. And it's quite unlikely that there were any more than 4 alicorns at any point of time, considering how rare alicorns are. We'll have to assume that there were no other alicorns that left behind reminiscences of their alicorn magic for other ponies to take and become alicorns.

... I think I've babbled on long enough...

TL;DR - Your OC isn't very "believable" because changing forms is seen as a very rare thing - we don't just see some background pony as an earth pony in one episode and a unicorn the next.

I'd probably talk even more about your OC if I hadn't already gone overboard with this...

[Zarky]

So because alicorns just appeared in the MLP show a few times (celestia, her sister Princess Luna, Twilight and that mentioned Cadance) makes any alicorn OC's a more difficult to be believable. Because, for be an alicorn, the ponie/pegasus/unicorn has to get the magic of somewhere, and this needs a good explanation and story to make it believable.

and my character lacks of a true good explanation of how she gets the magic needed to becoming an alicorn.

that's one of the things that makes people react so bad to my character (and the fact of be a dragon (he) turned into a mare (she), and have uncommun powers XD. Maybe i have too much open/free mind (and weird ideas) for this forum-.- well i will try to fit in XD)

i will do my second character more.. believable. You know. A young happy dragon, named Zarky, that just wanna get fun and doesn't use his powers because he make a deal with a friend of don't use them while he was in equestria. He just is allowed to use his ice breath. That character sounds more believable? XD

and if i give to Vauker an explanation of how she turned an alicorn (maybe be learning a spell that steals magic from alicorns nearby or even the magic of dragons) will she be more believable or she can't definitely be an alicorn?

if only worthy ponies can deserve be alicorns, Vauker will be forced to stop his evil ways. She will have to help a lot of ponys, that way she will slowly become a very good pony in order to achieve the right to be alicorn, and then to have the magic needed to return to his dragon form. That would also explains why she stops being mean with everypony and become good And that vauker turns good was the intention of the witch when she turned vauker into a defenceless pony
Does that sounds better?or i will have to let the alicorn thing? XD

PD: Don't be afraid of write long posts Tiger ^^ i like to read so i don't get bored reading long posts, and if you wanna say more things about my characters feel free to do it, as long as it is a constructive critics and not just insults as some people does ^^