Messages

1

Original Characters / Re: Smokeout Knight(New version)

2013 Jun 03, 11:52:22

i'm surpised that this version is so much better than the last....

2

Original Characters / Re: The Dashing and Courageous SHOW STOPPER! and his team

2013 Jan 27, 00:35:22

i apologize if i came off as rude, but since i just created them, i wanted to get an opinion about them first. And yes, I did Kinda base Show's appearance off of trixie since she's a show pony as well.

I'm actually looking through the troupe right now and trying to figure out the best possible way to flesh each one out, so please give me a chance to do that before reporting this thread (if you do decide to report this thread) i thank you all for the criticism and i will continue to work on them and come up with designs that will make them less of an....eyesore...what was i thinking with stonewall's colors?...back to the drawing board


EDIT: note to self...modify...not reply....wrong button...

3

Original Characters / Re: The Dashing and Courageous SHOW STOPPER! and his team

2013 Jan 27, 00:31:44

yes, i know they're a bit to complex, but they ARE stunt ponies, they're trying to be flashy, i'm working on the others for now and on the whole pony creator thing i'm still new to drawing ponies in that style...i will be fleshing them out in time, but i can only do one at a time right now do to collage stuff. My education comes first and foremost.

I won't make any promises, but they will be worked on, i might tone it down on their designs, but i do remind that they are trying to be as flashy as possible so others will watch them.

4

Original Characters / Re: The Dashing and Courageous SHOW STOPPER! and his team

2013 Jan 25, 21:55:28

thanks

5

Original Characters / The Dashing and Courageous SHOW STOPPER! and his team

2013 Jan 25, 12:09:14

It was a normal day in Ponyville, everypony was going about their business whether it was simply chatting with friends or working. It was a mere month after the Alicorn amulet fiasco and Trixie had become a regular come and go visitor. She had returned to her career as a traveling show pony, winning back a lot of the respect she had lost
Suddenly Trumpets blared and a large large cube fell from the sky. two large speakers popped out of each side.

"~ahem~ Testing, testing...1...2...BINGO!" Came a deep and boisterous voice.
"YOU THOUGHT YOU'VE SEEN MAGIC? YOU THOUGHT YOU'VE SEEN THE BEST? WELL YOU HAVE NOT! COME ONE, COME ALL TO WITNESS THE MIGHT! THE BRAVERY! THE DEATH DEFYING STUNTS OF THE ONE, THE ONLY....SHOW STOPPER!

The cube fell apart to reveal a large stage with trumpets blaring and rings of fire spinning in the air. In the center of the stage was a dark blue unicorn striking a fabulous pose and a mic set sitting around his neck.

"GOOD MORNING EVERYPONY!" His voice boomed from the loud speakers. "WOULD YOU KINDLY GATHER AROUND MY ARENA!"

Not too far away in the school. One gray pegasus woke with a start. Smokeout glanced out his window and groaned.
"Of all the days for him to arrive..." Smokeout climbed from his bed and made his way to the stage.

Show Stopper scanned the crowd with a large beam set on his face. The traveling stunt pony had been going from town to town, putting on amazing performances. His goal was to show that pegasi weren't the only ones who could perform amazing stunts. Sure he had heard of the "great and powerful" Trixie Lulamoon, but his stunts were not just simple magic.
You see, Show Stopper's special talent wasn't being a stunt pony, but it was conjuration. As a colt, his magic had never taken to the simple abilities of other unicorns, instead he had learned that he had the unique ability to conjure objects out of thin air. Like any foal, he had grown watching the Wonderbolts perform. This inspired him to become a stunts pony, a daredevil, taking on amazing feats that no pony besides pegasi could handle. But his parents had told him that these stunts were impossible to do, and that he should stick to the family business and become a simple show pony instead.
No, he had said, i will transcend that low brow job and show everypony that a unicorn can become just as great as the Wonderbolts!

And thus, "The Dashing and Courageous" Show Stopper was born.
He traveled far and wide, making a name for himself. It wasn't long until he learned that without some help, he would be unable to travel as much as he'd like. He remembered an old school buddy from Canterlot that had once helped him with his small time performances there. So he traveled back there in search of some pegasi who could help him.
Smokeout was one of those pegasi, in fact, he was Show's partner at the time.
"The Dashing and Courageous Show Stopper" and his partner "The Mysterious Smokeout Knight."

Show Stopper glanced down when he heard those words.

"SMOKEOUT! MY OLD FRIEND!"

Smokeout winced at Show's booming voice.

"Volume Show, your causing more noise pollution than Vinyl Scratch..."

"Hey!"

"OH DON'T BE A STICK IN THE MUD! YOU YOURSELF ONCE MADE USE OF THIS!"

"but i never caused our fans to go deaf..."


"OH..."




I hope you guys like my new OC and i also hope that i don't have to flesh this one out more than i have.
I will give some information about him though
NAME: Show ~ahem~ THE DASHING AND COURAGEOUS SHOW STOPPER!
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Profession: Stunt pony (and as you can see, he enjoys it)
Cutie mark: flaming hoop
Unique Talent: Conjuring objects out of thin air, but he prefers to think that its being a stunt pony

Team=
Highflyer: part of the five pony lift team. Highflyer is a pink pegasi mare whose cutie mark is a trio of dollar signs, representing her unique talent of ungodly luck. She is also the strongest of the lift team


Stone wall: A dark green Pegasi Stallion who, despite not being the strongest member, is the biggest of the group, towering over most if not all other ponies besides Celestia. His cutie mark consists of 3 rocks (think iwagakure's symbol)


Swift Wind: The smallest of the troupe, Swift is a light pink Pegasi Stallion. His peppy attitude has earned him a quick friendship with a certain Pink earth pony. His Cutie mark is an arrow.


Breaker: The only unicorn of the lift team. this white unicorn mare has discovered the special ability of using her magic to fly. Highflyer may be strongest of the team, but Breaker definitely provides the support to carry the stage. Her cutie mark is a pair of wings.


Searing Flame: This black Pegasi Mare is the leader and organizer of the lift team. She coordinates where the next show is going to be. She is also Show Stopper's loving wife. Her cutie mark is a candle


The Stunt team=
Smokeout Knight: A former member of member of the Team, but had left to pursue his dream of being a history teacher.
refer to my Smokeout Knight thread for info on him the doesn't pertain to his time with the troupe.
http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=5436.15

Show Stopper: the undisputed leader of the troupe. refer to above to get a gist of who he is.


Again, i hope you guys like them. and yes, the lift team DID just DROP the stage into Ponyville square...they ARE that crazy.

6

Guild Archive / Re: [Herd] Travellers Blessing.

2012 Nov 16, 21:46:56

OC Name: Smokeout Knight
Forum Name: ^
Activity: could you be more specific here?
Planned race: Pegasus
Reason to join: my OC is known as a teacher, but is more well known as a hunter of knowledge so travelling to learn more is a perfect reason to join as it fit's his personality

[OR]

7

Original Characters / Re: New oc! Needs help.

2012 Nov 15, 18:50:58

Here's an idea: The villain's we've seen thus far have either been ancient villains(in Sombra, discord and NM's cases) or ones with an unknown age(Chrysalis) Your OC obviously fits with the former.

Now Sombra means darkness, Discord...well, exactly what it says on the tin... and Nightmare moon reprisents vengence.

Chrysalis is the equivilence of a succubus.

All dark reprisentations/embodiments right? and of course their names are meaningful in that regard.
Here's what you could do; follow that them and name your OC after something that is affiliated to evil.

OR you could follow Chrysalis' lead and make your OC seem like a trustable pony only for him to reveal his true nature at the climax of his story arc.

Let's say you go with the whole evil from the start; you could have your OC's magic revolve around famine, but instead of draining the life from the food or the ponies(i.e. causing them to die) he could drain their magic
BUT being that he was born after the elements, that would be one of the few ways to beat him.

I have no idea what kinda name you'd give someone who reprisents famine though

but anyways, try thinking about the villains that've appeared so far and either try to have this OC follow their theme, or go against it.

8

Canterlot Archives / Re: Life in Ponyville

2012 Nov 13, 19:14:23

Smokeout Knight sits quietly in his study, panning the lesson for tommorow's class.
~Maybe teaching the fillies about the history of Starswirl the bearded will be a sufficiant lesson...~ He mumbles to himself
Checking his clock, Smokeout straightens his lesson plans and heads to bed

(hope i'm doing it right)

9

Original Characters / Re: Character Critique Thread

2012 Nov 13, 15:13:33

I'v had plenty of people both critique and compliment both of my OC's incarnations that i'v posted here, but i'd like someone else to give me a more "in depth" critique.

http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=5436.0
Here's the thread, thanks for taking the time to Critique Smokeout for me.

10

Original Characters / Re: O.C criticism.

2012 Nov 13, 15:09:21

The only reason i get mad is when someone's "critique" consists of a sentence/paragraph instead of an actual critique.
I would rather someone tell me how my character is either too strong or not fleshed out enough instead of telling me "it's OP/ a mary sue/ completely unfair"

When other's respond with simply stating that it's an over powered OC i tend to lose it, especially if i requested that people give me advice on how to change my OC's design/story to make it more fair and acceptable.

Granted, it's not fair of me to just snap at them about it, but i'd still prefer they actually critique instead of belittle

11

Original Characters / Re: king darksoul

2012 Nov 09, 23:46:03

(sorry, the gif is NOT supposed to loop...but it does anyways)

this is my reaction to this thread

12

Original Characters / Re: Smokeout Knight(New version)

2012 Nov 08, 21:18:25

he looks like a pony my oc would like

Well, Smokeout's a knowledge seeker and after reading through your OC, i don't know enough about your characters personality...so i can't say whether Smokeout would actually get along with him.

13

Original Characters / Re: Smokeout Knight(New version)

2012 Nov 06, 16:42:10

it's a great thing that such a mary sue looking pony can still become dulled down and equal. Though I have to say, that's a good sense of style!

Certainly a fascinating journey through your thought processes as you created and expanded on him   It seems similar to the journey many of us had to make when designing our characters  from the rough initial concepts to extreme detail, to pulling back and melding different thoughts together into more balanced forms.

Thank you both.

I have to agree Shadow. Being a manga artist who's created over 300 characters, i'v had to come up with nearly as many different designs for them(granted they aren't ponies) but this is also taking into account that alot of those "300+" characters were trashed or remade, just like Smokeout. It's always safe to remember that when creating a series of your own, you must make sure each character looks different and are also unique. It is also a good idea to remember that even if you make a character who is a god mode character, even then they have to be fleshed out beyond simply saying they appeared, they created and they're invincible.

And to Magus: yea, i agree

14

Original Characters / Re: Smokeout Knight(New version)

2012 Nov 05, 11:05:44

hello everypony how's it going? i'm making this edit to show you guys something quite funny
~Funfact: Smokeout Knight went through 3 prototypes before his current design, anyone who's checked the old thread  has seen his most recent prototype.
I assume you'd like to see my...ahem...failures?  Well, i'd be happy to oblige
Here is Smokeout's earliest incarnation: Note how different and plane he was but you can see a tid bit from his current design in the tail.


Here is his second incarnation: as you can see, i abandoned all forms of restraint and made him look as threatening as possible. Believe it or not, his first 2 incarnations were meant to be evil and back then he was named Chess Master


Note how i actually made him look like a villain and how his first 2 incarnations are alicorns. This was due to me treating his creation as if it were an action based anime. You see, i am actually working on a manga series of my own so you could consider this bleed over from that mindset.

Here is his most recent failure. At this point his name was changed mainly because i didn't think "Chess Master" fit the MLP naming style, so i named him "Smokeout" nothing more nothing less. (he became "Smokeout Knight" when i posted the thread)


Hope you guys enjoy his earlier forms, i kinda find it funny how he's changed over the course of his creation

15

Original Characters / Re: Smokeout Knight(New version)

2012 Nov 04, 15:50:15

if there was one thing which might become an issue, it's that your backstory might get retconned by season 3 episodes, especially the history episodes.    but your decision as to how to handle that, if you want.

Yea, i'm aware i'll have to change his back story when season 3 airs. but i can't do anything about it until season 3 airs XD

16

Original Characters / Re: Smokeout Knight(New version)

2012 Nov 01, 15:19:18

Very, very well done, much better!   I do think it is quite a well made OC now, detailed backstory, balanced abilities, fascinating characterization

Well thank you Magus, i'm glad you like this version. In fact i believe i like this version of him far better than the previous one.
I'm actually working on another one right now who's supposed to be his assistant, but she's still in the works.

Thanks for the more light hearted reviews everypony! /)^3^(\

17

Original Characters / Re: Smokeout Knight(New version)

2012 Oct 29, 13:33:30

it's 10 times better Smoke! it's great. Well.....I guess that somepony...was bound to make an oc with.....large wings....it...had to happen... u np though

I agree, much better.

Thanks guys, are the wings okay? i was a bit hesitant about giving him larger wings than a normal pegasus but since he's larger than your average pony, i thought the larger wings would be more acceptable to having smaller wings.

also, what do you guys think of his new information? i hope he no longer counts as over powered

18

Original Characters / Re: Smokeout Knight(New version)

2012 Oct 28, 14:57:21

Well, i do like it, btw what does tandem mean?

Tandem(if i spelled it correctly) means for 2 things to work together in harmony(pardon the pun XD)
sorry for the confusion, it bites that i can't modify my original post in case of possible spelling mistakes

EDIT: after reading through, i notice i have used the word out of context
and i CAN modify my original post

19

Original Characters / Smokeout Knight(New version)

2012 Oct 28, 13:03:58

Name: Smokeout Knight
Gender: Stallion
age: 26
Race: Pegasi
Unique Talent: Hunting and teaching
Special abilities: Can become a smoke like form for quick travel, high speed flight(not on par with RD but still fast), high strength.
Strengths: Cannot touch when in smoke form.
weaknesses: when using his smoke form, he cannot touch anything but he does not posses intangibility like Nightmare moon seems to posses. He must reform if his smoke form is dissipated before returning to his normal form.
example-Turns into smoke form<smoke gets dissipated<smoke must reform< transforms back into his pony form
Personality: Determined and stubborn, Kind and respectable, Smokeout Knight is known throught out Equestria as the Hunter of Stories. He is always following his instinct to find the best stories to write about. Though he will rewrite forgotten stories, he prefers hunting for the unknown. He hopes for the chance to document the current life storied of Celestia, Luna and Cadence.
Appearance:


Bio:

~In Cloudsdale, a young, newly married pegasi couple gave birth to a small gray colt with strange markings. The strangest part of this little colt was his larger wings. During his childhood Smokeout learned he had the innate ability to locate anything, ranging from objects to hidden feelings. As he Grew up, Smokeout traveled to many places and finally settling in ponyville. While in Manehatten He found his talent came out the most when he taught others. Moving to Ponyville where he became a well known professor of mythology, Smokeout learned of something that nopony else had ever known about Equestria history/myth; He had learned that there was once 4 spirits that had created Equestria.
The Alicorn mare; Sun raiser who raised the sun and gave the world warmth.
Her Husband, the pegasus; known as Lunar cycle, who brought the night, darkness and sleep.
The third spirit was one he knew very well; Discord the Draconequus, who controled chaos and could warp reality.
The final spirit was Midnight harmony, a formless being made from the very night sky. It governed the concepts of balance and harmony.

Smokeout then made his way to Canterlot to consult Princess Celestia about his find. After much coaxing, he finally got her to tell her about these spirits. She stated that these spirits were familial to her in a way. Sun raiser was her mother and Lunar cycle, her father. After they the meeting Celestia urged Smokeout to keep this information in Myth as nopony should know about the connection Between the four spirits.

Upon returning to Ponyville, Smokeout resumed his role as teacher, enlightening the young fillies that came into his classroom. Smokeout soon realized that he did not have a true "Talent" for teaching many minds at once, instead, he began to take on apprentices. He currently works in a secluded house outside of Ponyville as both a teacher and a hunter of knowledge of both fact and fiction. As a Hunter of Knowledge, Smokeout has found many life stories and tall tales to pass on.

Even in his young age he is well known for this hunt, the hunt that drives him to search on.~

I hope this is a much better version of my OC Smokeout Knight.
List of changes:
~He is no longer immortal
~Is no longer Midnight harmony brought down to normal
~Can no longer resist disease
~ Appearance has been changed to look FAR less threatening

I hope this version of him is far more acceptable within this community and i also hope you guys give me feedback on how to expand his character more or if his appearance should be altered more.

Remember, i ask for constructive criticism, not someone saying something needs changing without giving a reason as to why

Have a nice day everypony and i'm thankful for all the people who suggested that i change him. I'm actually happy that i did now and Smokeout is now a more fleshed out character compared to his earlier incarnation.

Thanks go to:
~The Wandering Magus
~Gracie Sky
and to anyone else on my original thread found here: http://forum.legendsofequestria.com/index.php?topic=5375.0

20

Original Characters / Re: My OC; Smokeout Knight

2012 Oct 25, 19:01:16

Touche, i was only throwing that out there because i didn't know if his ability to become smoke should count as unicorn magic or otherwise something similar

As I've said, I think power-wise the OC is fine   Just the backstory and immortality would be unadvised, in my humble opinion.  Personally I can understand being frustrated with changing stories, as I've had criticism of my writing in the past, but in the end it is my personal belief that allowing multiple opinions to shape a story makes it more well-rounded and realistic in the end.  Again, no offense meant in any way, shape or form.

None taken, i completely understand. I'm just very stubborn and it sometimes takes someone snapping at me to kick me out of that.