SilverLily's OC

Started by SilverLily, 2013 May 02, 18:31:59

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SilverLily

2013 May 02, 18:31:59 Last Edit: 2013 May 03, 14:37:29 by SilverLily
Name: Amethyst

Age: 17

Gender: Female

Race: Pegasus

Appearance:


Talent: Finding gems

Likes: The outdoors, different kinds of gems, shiny things, small animals.

Dislikes: Getting her mane wet or muddy, rain

Hobbies: Collecting all kinds of gems or anything shiny.

Personality: Amethyst is a very friendly, slightly quiet and calm pony.

Back story: All the while growing up, Amethyst fell in love with all kind of stones that was used in necklaces or hair pins. Any kind of accessory really. Something she kinda of gotten from her mother. Her mother adored jewelry. They had a rather close relationship, sharing the same interests and even though she was on her own now it didn't change much. The flowers Amethyst wore on her wings, were a gift from her mother before she set out on her own. She was interested in exploring the land, curious to what was all out there. Wanted to learn about the many types of gems and stones, as well as the people. As of yet, she didn't exactly have friends at the moment, but hopes that during her travels that would change. .

super_chris85

the personality and look of the pony sounds great. Her special talent is gem finding right?

May i suggest that you do a little back story with her just some basic things in it will. Just add where she is from and a little bit about her life and you should be good.

I hope your O.C. turns out great

SilverLily

Yeah, that's her talent. Will add that up there. And okay, I think of something to put as a backstory for her. Thanks for the tip.

Gracie Sky

I only have two issues with the OC as she is now.

One, you named her after her cutie mark. This can be validated if her parents were also really into gems or if she changed her name after getting her cutie mark, but you haven't stated anything to that effect yet. The general rule is parents aren't aware of what their children are going to be good at and normally name them based off of things they know when the child is born, such as their color/appearance, when they were born, and the sort of family the child will be raised in. When you think about it, if I named a child "Lightning Sword", I'm pretty much predicting s/he will become fluent in sword fighting and use a sword made out of actual lightning and have a cutie mark to reflect this. Even in the fantasy world of Equestria, the naming process is a little deeper than it appears. A lot of thought goes into the really good names.

The second is she's generic. There are two types of ponies: the ones that are nice and outgoing and the ones that are shy and introverted. Your OC is a bit of both, but still doesn't set herself apart from others. While that is not necessarily a bad thing, it makes her character predictable and less meaningful, although that may be my fault, since I've already seen several OCs who are shy until you get to know them and are already used to them.

I think the key problem is the lack of things I know about her, which cause my evaluations of her to be unfairly skewed. I encourage you to tell us everything you know about her! I bet there's a lot of interesting things about her just waiting to be discovered!

You could start by telling us what those flowers on her wings are. I've really never seen something quite like that.
Character Critique Thread

Have your OC fairly and honestly evaluated!

GoldenTerrabyte

I think she's cool. She'd hang out with Sunray, because she doesn't like rain either, unlike her bf Rainstorm.
I'm back

SilverLily

Quote from: Yellowpikmin476 on 2013 May 03, 12:34:57
I think she's cool. She'd hang out with Sunray, because she doesn't like rain either, unlike her bf Rainstorm.


Cool :)

Zeekar

Neat OC.I like the fact she has flowers on her wings,thats pretty unique. Good work. ^-^


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