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Quote from: Gracie Sky on 2013 Feb 23, 18:39:52
This is a critique for Cosmo Gaze by boboy76.
Just from the name, I would assume this pony just loves to gaze at the cosmos. His parents better be astronomers, or else I would question why they would name their child something so specific.
His story is very quaint, if not overly idealistic. What I mean is he likes Ponyville, but wants to move to Canterlot. He likes watching the stars, but he wants to see them closer. In response to these desires, he gets a telescope and his family moves to Canterlot. It's such a happy, convenient, and drama-free ending, but it gives me the impression that he has not developed as a character at all. Of course, given the choice, I would rather read about a pony like him over an overly tragic OC. Still, I think you have room to give this character... a bit more character.
The soul of character development is what the character learns over his or her life and how that makes him or her a better pony. So far, Cosmo Gaze has learned that Telescopes and Canterlot are awesome, which is true, but doesn't really make for great learning experiences. You need to find a way for him to exert himself, especially when concerning the acquisition of his cutie mark. One does not get a cutie mark for looking through a telescope. One gets a cutie for realizing that his life's passion is watching the stars, but the problem with that is he already knew that he liked watching stars. You need to clearly define that point where he discovers that his special talent is stargazing, as well as giving it a practical application to everyday life. It would be super if you could make him use his special talent in a way that benefits the community around him.
Use the mane 6 for some examples: Twilight Sparkle runs the library, Applejack sells apples, Pinkie Pie sells confections, Fluttershy runs an animal shelter, Rarity runs a fashion boutique, and Rainbow Dash helps maintain Ponyville's weather. All of these professions somehow tie into what the respective pony's special talent is and could not be done by just any pony (as Magical Mystery Cure made apparent). Find something useful for the community that Cosmo Gaze could do with his talent and you'll be on the right track.
Quote from: Gracie Sky on 2013 Jan 29, 00:41:17No, not really, just flying fast and spinning. Sorry for teh confusion
Does this make his special talent raising water up to Cloudsdale?