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Original Characters / Re: Character Critique Thread
2013 Feb 23, 21:20:22Quote from: Gracie Sky on 2013 Feb 23, 18:39:52
This is a critique for Cosmo Gaze by boboy76.
Just from the name, I would assume this pony just loves to gaze at the cosmos. His parents better be astronomers, or else I would question why they would name their child something so specific.
His story is very quaint, if not overly idealistic. What I mean is he likes Ponyville, but wants to move to Canterlot. He likes watching the stars, but he wants to see them closer. In response to these desires, he gets a telescope and his family moves to Canterlot. It's such a happy, convenient, and drama-free ending, but it gives me the impression that he has not developed as a character at all. Of course, given the choice, I would rather read about a pony like him over an overly tragic OC. Still, I think you have room to give this character... a bit more character.
The soul of character development is what the character learns over his or her life and how that makes him or her a better pony. So far, Cosmo Gaze has learned that Telescopes and Canterlot are awesome, which is true, but doesn't really make for great learning experiences. You need to find a way for him to exert himself, especially when concerning the acquisition of his cutie mark. One does not get a cutie mark for looking through a telescope. One gets a cutie for realizing that his life's passion is watching the stars, but the problem with that is he already knew that he liked watching stars. You need to clearly define that point where he discovers that his special talent is stargazing, as well as giving it a practical application to everyday life. It would be super if you could make him use his special talent in a way that benefits the community around him.
Use the mane 6 for some examples: Twilight Sparkle runs the library, Applejack sells apples, Pinkie Pie sells confections, Fluttershy runs an animal shelter, Rarity runs a fashion boutique, and Rainbow Dash helps maintain Ponyville's weather. All of these professions somehow tie into what the respective pony's special talent is and could not be done by just any pony (as Magical Mystery Cure made apparent). Find something useful for the community that Cosmo Gaze could do with his talent and you'll be on the right track.
ok
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Original Characters / Re: Rust Gears, a random OC
2013 Feb 07, 22:22:20
Very interesting OC and amazing drawings 
, do you draw them your self?
, do you draw them your self?
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Original Characters / Re: Character Critique Thread
2013 Feb 04, 18:57:11
Well, everypony's doin' it, so here 
Name: Cosmo Gaze
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Race: Unicorn
Likes:Nighttime, the sky, chocolate, being with other ponies, reading.
Dislikes:Being alone, mean ponies, ponies who mess with his friends, being interrupted.
Personality: A kind pony who doesn't like to be messed with, or bothered.
Spells: He doesn't know many advanced spells, he knows as much spells as an average unicorn does.
Appearance:
Cutie Mark:
Backstory: Cosmo was born in Ponyville but has dreamed of moving to canterlot for a better view at the stars. Ever since Cosmo was a foal he has loved gazing up at the sky at night and examining the stars. He then got an idea, why couldn't he examine them closer? A few days later he got a telescope as a gift from his parents. Cosmo was joyous and couldn't wait to use it at nighttime! When it was night, he pulled up the telescope with his magic and looked through it. When he was looking through it he couldn't believe how much he was missing out on! After he finished looking, he went back into his house. While he was walking through his father told him to look behind him. When he did he noticed his cutie mark had arrived! Cosmo was never happier in his life. The next day Cosmo went to school everypony congratulated him on his cutie mark, he had never been so happy in the past few days. A few years later, his parents told him that they were moving to Canterlot. Cosmo couldn't believe what he was hearing, he had always wanted to go there! The next day Cosmo and his parents said goodbye to all of their friends and boarded the train to Canterlot. The whole train ride Cosmo read a book, and munched on some chocolate that he had gotten before he left. When they finally arrived Cosmo's jaw dropped at how glorious Canterlot was, the buildings were built amazingly, and the art was breathtaking. They then made their way to their new home and settled in, Cosmo has been living there with his family ever since, making new friends and staring into the night sky.
Name: Cosmo Gaze
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Race: Unicorn
Likes:Nighttime, the sky, chocolate, being with other ponies, reading.
Dislikes:Being alone, mean ponies, ponies who mess with his friends, being interrupted.
Personality: A kind pony who doesn't like to be messed with, or bothered.
Spells: He doesn't know many advanced spells, he knows as much spells as an average unicorn does.
Appearance:
Spoiler: show
![](http://[url="http://i47.tinypic.com/28bsily.jpg"]http://i47.tinypic.com/28bsily.jpg[/url])
Cutie Mark:
Spoiler: show
![](http://[url="http://i45.tinypic.com/f9pan6.png"]http://i45.tinypic.com/f9pan6.png[/url])
Backstory: Cosmo was born in Ponyville but has dreamed of moving to canterlot for a better view at the stars. Ever since Cosmo was a foal he has loved gazing up at the sky at night and examining the stars. He then got an idea, why couldn't he examine them closer? A few days later he got a telescope as a gift from his parents. Cosmo was joyous and couldn't wait to use it at nighttime! When it was night, he pulled up the telescope with his magic and looked through it. When he was looking through it he couldn't believe how much he was missing out on! After he finished looking, he went back into his house. While he was walking through his father told him to look behind him. When he did he noticed his cutie mark had arrived! Cosmo was never happier in his life. The next day Cosmo went to school everypony congratulated him on his cutie mark, he had never been so happy in the past few days. A few years later, his parents told him that they were moving to Canterlot. Cosmo couldn't believe what he was hearing, he had always wanted to go there! The next day Cosmo and his parents said goodbye to all of their friends and boarded the train to Canterlot. The whole train ride Cosmo read a book, and munched on some chocolate that he had gotten before he left. When they finally arrived Cosmo's jaw dropped at how glorious Canterlot was, the buildings were built amazingly, and the art was breathtaking. They then made their way to their new home and settled in, Cosmo has been living there with his family ever since, making new friends and staring into the night sky.
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The Retirement Home / Re: What does the signature above tell you?
2013 Feb 04, 00:07:52
likes helicopters
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Original Characters / Cosmo Gaze
2013 Feb 02, 00:55:13
My second OC
Name: Cosmo Gaze
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Race: Pegasus
Likes:Nighttime, the sky, chocolate, being with other ponies, reading.
Dislikes:Being alone, mean ponies, ponies who mess with his friends, being interrupted.
Personality: A kind pony who doesn't like to be messed with, or bothered.
Favorite thing to do:Flying in the night sky.
Appearance:
Cutie Mark:
Backstory:
[spoiler]Cosmo was born in Ponyville but has dreamed of moving to canterlot for a better view at the stars. Ever since Cosmo was a foal he has loved gazing up at the sky at night and examining the stars. He then got an idea, why couldn't he examine them closer? A few days later he got a telescope as a gift from his parents. Cosmo was joyous and couldn't wait to use it at nighttime! When it was night, he pulled up the telescope and looked through it. When he was looking through it he couldn't believe how much he was missing out on! After he finished looking, he went back into his house. While he was walking through his father told him to look behind him. When he did he noticed his cutie mark had arrived! Cosmo was never happier in his life. The next day Cosmo went to school everypony congratulated him on his cutie mark, he had never been so happy in the past few days. A few years later, his parents told him that they were moving to Canterlot. Cosmo couldn't believe what he was hearing, he had always wanted to go there! The next day Cosmo and his parents said goodbye to all of their friends and boarded the train to Canterlot. The whole train ride Cosmo read a book, and munched on some chocolate that he had gotten before he left. When they finally arrived Cosmo's jaw dropped at how glorious Canterlot was, the buildings were built amazingly, and the art was breathtaking. They then made their way to their new home and settled in, Cosmo has been living there with his family ever since, making new friends and staring and flying into the night sky.[spoiler]
Name: Cosmo Gaze
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Race: Pegasus
Likes:Nighttime, the sky, chocolate, being with other ponies, reading.
Dislikes:Being alone, mean ponies, ponies who mess with his friends, being interrupted.
Personality: A kind pony who doesn't like to be messed with, or bothered.
Favorite thing to do:Flying in the night sky.
Appearance:
Spoiler: show
Cutie Mark:
Spoiler: show
Backstory:
[spoiler]Cosmo was born in Ponyville but has dreamed of moving to canterlot for a better view at the stars. Ever since Cosmo was a foal he has loved gazing up at the sky at night and examining the stars. He then got an idea, why couldn't he examine them closer? A few days later he got a telescope as a gift from his parents. Cosmo was joyous and couldn't wait to use it at nighttime! When it was night, he pulled up the telescope and looked through it. When he was looking through it he couldn't believe how much he was missing out on! After he finished looking, he went back into his house. While he was walking through his father told him to look behind him. When he did he noticed his cutie mark had arrived! Cosmo was never happier in his life. The next day Cosmo went to school everypony congratulated him on his cutie mark, he had never been so happy in the past few days. A few years later, his parents told him that they were moving to Canterlot. Cosmo couldn't believe what he was hearing, he had always wanted to go there! The next day Cosmo and his parents said goodbye to all of their friends and boarded the train to Canterlot. The whole train ride Cosmo read a book, and munched on some chocolate that he had gotten before he left. When they finally arrived Cosmo's jaw dropped at how glorious Canterlot was, the buildings were built amazingly, and the art was breathtaking. They then made their way to their new home and settled in, Cosmo has been living there with his family ever since, making new friends and staring and flying into the night sky.[spoiler]
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Original Characters / Re: Cyclone Cloud
2013 Jan 29, 00:44:02Quote from: Gracie Sky on 2013 Jan 29, 00:41:17No, not really, just flying fast and spinning. Sorry for teh confusion
Does this make his special talent raising water up to Cloudsdale?
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Original Characters / Cyclone Cloud
2013 Jan 23, 01:02:54
Name: Cyclone Cloud
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Race: Pegasus
Appearance:Might be changing mane/colors later.
Cutie Mark:
Personality: Fun and Outgoing, but very serious with his studies and reading, he makes friends easily and stands up for them.
Backstory: Cyclone was born and raised in Las Pegasus, he lived in a cloud near there, and loved to study. One day his parents flew in his room while he was studying for a test, and told him that they had to move because they couldn't afford the house they lived in, which made Cyclone really depressed. His parents then decided to move to ponyville in a nice house with kind ponies around. Once they moved, Cyclone had to get used to sleeping on a normal bed instead of a cloud and living on the ground, but he eventually gotten used to it. Cyclone then began to love his new home, mostly because of all the great friends he made. One day he heard about the pegasi bringing up the water to Cloudsdale, which made him excited. After gathering and watching the clip Rainbow Dash had shown them, he got pumped and began flying whenever he got the chance to. After lots of training he finally got up to 9.0 wing power! On the day of raising the water, he was nervous but did his best, flying in a tornado was tricky for him, but it felt naturally fine in a weird way. He began to push his wings further which made him go to 12.0 wing power, then he heard the horn blow. After he landed once the water was raised, he rested on a nearby cloud and looked at his flank and noticed his cutie mark had arrived. After that his family moved back to Las Pegasus a few years after they got enough bits to pay for it, then he got his own cloud when he grew up and has lived there ever since.
Critiques appreciated!
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Race: Pegasus
Appearance:Might be changing mane/colors later.
Spoiler: show
![](http://[url="http://i50.tinypic.com/2uz43dt.png"]http://i50.tinypic.com/2uz43dt.png[/url])
Cutie Mark:
Spoiler: show
![](http://[url="http://i50.tinypic.com/2yjt1g0.jpg"]http://i50.tinypic.com/2yjt1g0.jpg[/url])
Personality: Fun and Outgoing, but very serious with his studies and reading, he makes friends easily and stands up for them.
Backstory: Cyclone was born and raised in Las Pegasus, he lived in a cloud near there, and loved to study. One day his parents flew in his room while he was studying for a test, and told him that they had to move because they couldn't afford the house they lived in, which made Cyclone really depressed. His parents then decided to move to ponyville in a nice house with kind ponies around. Once they moved, Cyclone had to get used to sleeping on a normal bed instead of a cloud and living on the ground, but he eventually gotten used to it. Cyclone then began to love his new home, mostly because of all the great friends he made. One day he heard about the pegasi bringing up the water to Cloudsdale, which made him excited. After gathering and watching the clip Rainbow Dash had shown them, he got pumped and began flying whenever he got the chance to. After lots of training he finally got up to 9.0 wing power! On the day of raising the water, he was nervous but did his best, flying in a tornado was tricky for him, but it felt naturally fine in a weird way. He began to push his wings further which made him go to 12.0 wing power, then he heard the horn blow. After he landed once the water was raised, he rested on a nearby cloud and looked at his flank and noticed his cutie mark had arrived. After that his family moved back to Las Pegasus a few years after they got enough bits to pay for it, then he got his own cloud when he grew up and has lived there ever since.
Critiques appreciated!
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News Archive / Re: It's time for the 24 hour event!
2013 Jan 03, 23:34:08
Sounds good! you bet i'll be there!
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Introductions Archive / Re: Hello!
2012 Dec 20, 23:03:37
Thanks for all the welcomes guys... I feel so accepted. 
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Legends of Equestria Discussion / Re: A thread to help people be up to speed on LoE
2012 Dec 20, 22:40:21
This is so exciting! Will earth ponies and unicorns be able to walk on clouds? or only pegasi? p.s. This will be the best game evar! 
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