My OC, very first!

Started by SuperNovaNightmare, 2013 Sep 10, 05:23:44

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SuperNovaNightmare

2013 Sep 10, 05:23:44 Last Edit: 2013 Sep 23, 21:46:04 by SuperNovaNightmare
IMPORTANT NOTE: This is my character, I own all rights to this character and only I may use it, but this photo currently being used for my profile is not mine, and all credit goes to Graywolf at Graywolf.critter.net (by the way, love his picture!) But, if you wish to make art from my pony, feel free! Just please, nothing NSFW and things along that line. Who knows, if I love it (which i'm sure I will) i'll make it my official pony picture, but of course, credit will go to the artist as well!

After reading a comment pointing out so many great topics, I have revised my Info a bit to explain more.
Super Nova:
Spoiler: show
Basic Information:
Name: Super Nova
Nick-names: Nova, Star
Gender: (Adolescent Male in some RP's before time lapse) Prime Male
Age: (14 in some RP's before time lapse) 87
Speciality: Solar Explosions and Adaptation
Cute Mark: Supernova
Other Talents: Potion Craft, Gem Craft, Adaptation
Race: Alicorn Nightmare
Likes: Weather, Talking, Thinking
Dislikes: Scarring, Hurting, Losing Control
Favorite Eats: Coal, Charcoal, Fruit and Vegetables
Three Great Traits: Kindness, Encouraging, Humble
Three Negative Traits: Scary, Possessed, Destructive when Angry
Fears: Not Having Friends, Losing Control of Real Spirit, Destroying Everything
A Special Somepony: None..., yet

Traits of Nightmares from the realm of dreams:

        While younglings do show signs of aggression, most are very docile. When they hit their adolescent ages, they start to show the "True Colors" of aged nightmares. They tend to lose them self to a evil spirit, and not one spirit is like another. They soon go through special training to learn to control the spirit inside them, but adolescent stages for these horrors is where their minds are at their most vulnerable. How quickly they learn to tame it is how they end up acting once they become full adults. Unicorns tend to have the most volatile spirits, usually taking several months, even years, to control. Pegasus have some more tame spirits, and Earth Pony's are the weakest, usually taking no more than a few weeks to control them.
        Now, sense dreams are dreams, the type could vary to a icy tundra, thundering planes, and even space its self, so nightmares adapt to take full advantage of the situation. They undergo a incredible transformation that takes place in a blink of the eye, so nightmares don't always appear the same, though they have the ability to change the course of the dream which is why there most common form is a flaming horse. Now, in some cases, the spirit can be so powerful, it cannot be contained, which is why some adolescents are followed by many adult Horrors, so they may quell the savage spirit.

Intro:

Appearance: Coal Black coat, with semi-solid, color-changing Blazing mane and tail, flame-tipped wing feathers, and tufts of fur at end of each leg, where fire is leaked out.

Birth and Childhood:

       Every so often, a new Nightmare is created in a random pony's dream, and how a Nightmare is born is very strange, and unpleasant to the unfortunate pony that has its dream used. Nightmare's can be anything when born, but only by how strong of a nightmare is generated by other nightmares, meaning Nightmares can be born as a Earth Pony, Unicorn, Pegasus, or very rarely, a Alicorn. The birth of a Alicorn show's that a great change will soon happen to the world, and the born Nightmare shall be the cause. When the nightmares started the Nightmare birth, mainly called a Nightmare storm, they started running in a large circle and soon, a dark tornado of terrible energy started to form.
       Nova then slowly formed in the center of the twister. As his head started to form, so did a horn, an many onlookers were happy to see a new Unicorn was being born, but something never recorded in history happened, all Nightmares stay asleep during the process, but Nova opened his eyes. His eyes then started to blaze, and his horn started to glow, and the Nightmares preforming the birth went into a frenzy, and ran faster than they could ever naturally. Nova started to form faster and faster, until the Nightmares were running so fast, the twister became a solid black, and could not been seen through.
       Shortly after, the Nightmares collapsed and standing in the center, wings unfolded, eyes open, horn still glowing, was Super Nova. All nightmares are born with there cute mark, usually something related to fire, but he got his name from his mark, a sun exploding. Many bowed before his presence, but shortly after, Nova's horn stopped glowing, and he fell to the ground.


After being put into the usual school for teaching young horrors, they soon realized that he was extremely knowledgeable, and was soon sent strait to training for creating nightmares. Nova was silent all the time, never said a word to any pony. Some say he was mute, but others said they heard him mumble to him self every now and again. What he was mumbling was " I hate what i'm doing." When the final test came, Nova was sad to have to torment a innocent pony's dreams, but to avoid suspicion, he did as he was told, and generated the strongest nightmare ever recorded. Every horror idolized him for being so amazing, but what they didn't know, was that that was the worst thing he had ever done in his life.


Plan to escape:

          As he aged, horrors saw more and more how "different" Super Nova was acting. "Always alone." said one, Acting all mopey." said another. Nova was well aware of the suspicions, but finally found a way to leave to the real realm. One night, he saw a strange rippling in the distance and moved closer to investigate. He could see it was a tiny crack, and could see the bedroom of the sleeping pony. He was bouncing all over the place, excited to have discovered a way out.
      "If only I could find somepony with great power, I could find a tear large enough to fit through" He thought to himself. So over the course of a few days, he finally found the dream of a powerful Unicorn, and just as he thought, a large tear. He reared him self to charge into the tear. He wished to leave this place forever, if possible, and flew full speed through the tear, and upon exiting, found that if he had just tried to walk through, he would have been thrown back, cause he felt like trying to fly through jello. He quietly exited the sleeping pony's house, and flew of into the distance.

Life alone:

      He was happy to be free, but sad to know no pony knew him, and he knew approaching one would result with screaming and running, something he hated with a passion. Finally, on his 14th birthday, he decided it was time to talk to a pony. For a long time, his attempts were unsuccessful, until one day, he finally found some one who was not afraid of him, but did not trust him, thinking that he was some horrible monster trying to burn down the land.
      Nova asked if anything could get him to earn his trust, he would do the task in a heart beat. Seeing that he was on fire, he told Nova that if he went into the nearby lake, and came out alive, it would show he was not evil. Nova agreed, but was very scared, for the first time in his life, for he was sure he would burn out, but he did not back out. He walked slowly into the water, steam jutting up from his legs. He didn't feel like he was burning out, but felt very weak. Once completely submerged, he slowly felt him self getting weaker and weaker until he couldn't stay awake.


Adaptation outside of the dream realm:
       He suddenly awoke, startled that he was still alive, but quickly realized something was different. He looked at himself to see that he was no longer had his usual black coat and red trimmings, but was a dark blue, and a various shades of blue trimmed his tufts at the beginning of his hooves. In fact, they were releasing bubbles! Suddenly, a thought came to mind, and he absorbed some of the water around him, and forced it out around his hooves. He rocketed to the surface, and flew into the air.
       He startled the watching Earth Pony, and slowly with what remaining water stored, hovered to the ground in front of him. His mouth was hanging open, but shook his head, collecting himself enough to say, "Wow, you sure showed me, nothing evil could have ever done something crazy without getting the urge to blast apart anything near by. Sorry for doubting you." Nova replied, "It was nothing, I just wanted to show you that I was being true to my word." After a long conversation, he then turned away, walked along the rode, found a river, and dove into it and propelled himself with is (what he now calls Hydro Hooves, only when in water) and made his way to the nearest town.

Weakness and Accident:
      After traversing the river for some time, it soon got late and he decided to make camp at a cave up on a ledge. Soon after exploring the inside, making sure nothing was already living there, he soon stood looking out of the cave entrance. Thats when "He" decided to finally reveal him self. "Hello, little well." it said with a dark voice, "I find it funny to think that someone who was born with the purpose of spreading dread thinks they can become a goody-four hooves and try to make friends in a world he's not welcome to." Nova winced as he felt the spirit probing at his mind, making violent jabs into his memory, but he remained silent."You may think being a Alicorn makes you invincible, but there are so many things that could slay you with ease." He said. "Let me show you a little preview of some such things." It proceeded to flash multiple images of me, falling at the will of many creatures and various things. "You think that you can go and just, make friends? HAH! You may have gotten lucky with that Earth Pony, but lets face it, your never going to fulfill your true purpose of existence with out me."
        He crackled with manacle laughter, and what felt like being stabbed by a great sword, he plunged himself into Nova's mind. Nova was ready for this, but the spirit was something never recorded in nightmare history. He attacked with great strength, yet it wasn't savage as most said they should be, but well controlled, like he had been doing this the hole time he has existed. Nova then thought of something, "What if me being a combination of the three races, also means that my spirit is a mixture of the three races as well?" He picked up on it "Well, you're smarter than you look, i'll give you that. Yes i'm a mixture of the many different types of spirits, and might as well be your worst nightmare."
        He then proceeded to take one, strong stab at his mind. Nova howled in pain and finally gave in. The spirit said "And you know how to put up a good fight, but this was inevitable. Now, stand down weakling and let me show you what you should have done the moment you left the dream realm!" He started laughing like crazy, all the while taking over Super Nova's mind and body. " YES!" They both said in unison, as his spirit rendered Nova useless and took total control of him. He then started to grow, and grow, and grow, and grow! He broke through the roof of the cave and lifted their head high. "Now, watch as I destroy all you sought to befriend!" He roared. Thankfully, the river led him up into the mountains, where no towns where near by,  though, sadly, that didn't mater because he was massive, even taller than the mountains them selves! They then proceeded to spit huge balls of fire from their mouth.
         Some how, Nova managed to speak, even with his mind dwarfed by the spirits "You're right." He said. "Finally! Got it through your thick scull?" The spirit replied. "No, I should have done THIS long before leaving the dream realm!" He yelled. Nova then fed off of he spirits rage, then proceeded to attack the spirits mind! Nova went into a frenzy, jabbing and stabbing at mind-blowing speeds! The spirit yells in agony. Their body collapsed to the ground, worming around as one mind tried to overpower the other. "How DARE YOU!" the spirit roared. "No, how dare YOU think you know what my purpose in life is? How dare YOU for taking my mind a body away from me, and how dare YOU think you can get away with this!" Screamed Nova, as he plunges his mind strait into the heart of the spirit. The spirit made an terrible screech of pain and agony. Nova then sealed away the spirit into the darkest depths of his mind. "I SHALL RETURN, AND WHEN I DO, I SHALL DEVOUR EVERYTHING YOU CARE ABOUT!" Was the spirits last words, before being casted into the darkness. Nova slowly shrank back to normal size, and weakly got to his hooves. His body was aching everywhere from the spirits attacks on his mind, and then slowly collapsed again, passing out.
       Nova awoke next morning, sore and bruised. He wondered if any pony saw him go on that rampage. He hoped not, for it would make things much harder for him. He dove into the river, forcing him to change forms, and let the minor current to take him, as he let the water sooth his aches and pains. After a few hours of drifting, he got out of the river, shambled over to the bank and looked past some trees to see a town, bustling with ponies walking to and from buildings. Nova was slightly joyed to have found a town, but did not dare come any closer than he already was.
        Thinking it would be for the best, he made a hovel on the bank of the river and lived there in peace and silence. He would look over to the town and watch the pony folk go about there business, hopping that one day, he may be accepted into the town not as some horrible monster, but as a normal pony. Night fell, and he decided soon, he would venture down and try his best to find some pony that wouldn't be scared of him, and slowly become accepted into the town.

Present day:
       Nova has been living at the bank of the near by river next to the town, and watched over it, silently observing the pony folk. He has been meditating, trying to control his easily explosive anger to prevent any future damage, and prevent the return of his evil spirit. He has been working up the courage to walk into town. When he does, he thinks things are going to start off very badly, but hopes that maybe, just maybe, they won't.

Personality:
        Super Nova is very respectful, talking in a well mannered tone,when he does talk, that is, and is very humble, never thinking that he is better than any pony else. Even if he's starting to grow ill tempered, he always tries to be kind and gentle.

Current Knowledge on his Evil Spirit and Evil Spirits in general:
       Nova has come to the conclusion that the evil spirit in all nightmares, is actually their real self, but for some reason, it is detached and a new spirit takes hold of nightmare. His evil spirit, he has yet to come up with a name, is extremely violent, and is actually the combined spirits of Earth Pony, Pegasus, and Unicorn, though something is telling him that Alicorns have their own spirit, and is actually a combination of four spirits, making its evil devastatingly strong, and is defiantly a force to be reckoned with.
       Being so large and powerful is a scary thing to think about, and being cast off into the darkness might not have been the best idea, for he can be certain that he is festering, and becoming even more wrathful and powerful with each second. Wether it can detach its self from the body, or is stuck within it, its only way of being shown by possessing the body and mind of the pony, is unknown.
       

Special Clothing:
        A gift from the first pony he befriended, he was given a fedora and loves wearing it, and a necklace he made from a red gemstone found at the bottom of the river, he engraved the symbol of courage, something he felt like he could spread to any friends he could make. Made a Trench-coat on accident while sleeping, being something that creates types of dreams, can pull things from dreams them selves, and some how made this Trench-coat that changes its look when Nova adapts to a new nature. Also modified the fedora at the same time, and shares the same properties as the Trench-coat.

Current engagements:
        Sense never being close to any pony, not to mention a female, he currently lives alone, in silence, at the bank of the neighboring river to the town.

A special gift:

    One night, Nova was toying around with some portal spells he read about, when he accidentally let his mind drift back to the dream realm, and he made a portal linking his current world to his original one. But something was wrong, he canceled the spell, yet the portal was still up. Then the shadow of somepony appeared in front of the portal. It said: "I know you, but you don't know me, and i'm proud to see that your trying to change the image of Nightmares, so I have a gift for you." Suddenly, a egg and a potion slowly came out of the portal. "Treat him with care, for if you don't, you shall loose control over him." Said the shadow. Then the portal mysteriously closed.
    Nova looked at the egg. It was oddly large for a normal egg, and a gold star was present on the surface of the egg. Nova then looked at the potion. He identified it as a growing potion, and decided to pour the contents onto the egg. The egg started to shake and crack, and finally the egg cracked open to reveal a Wereling, a common creature used to spread fear in younger ponies dreams. But this one was different, it had a vary light pale purple fur color, and deep purple glowing eyes. "A alpha-wereling!" Said Nova in amazement. The potion was not done, however, and it quickly grew to full size. It was huge, extremely muscled, and yet, was calm for a beast that is normally very destructive. It just stared at Nova. Nova moved closer, careful not to set the creature off. He then started to scratch it behind the ear. It started to tap its foot, similar to a dog. "Well, arn't you a tame one." Said Nova.

    He decided to name him El Chupa, for it seemed only appropriate for such a fierce and furry creature. He studied El Chupa closely, and finally realized what that pony meant. "He must feel the peace and control that I feel, and if I treat him like so, he will stay calm, and I will stay in control of him." Said Nova.

The Big loss:

    Again, Nova was toying around with some spells, with his pet nearby. And again, he made one slip up, but this one was the worst of them all. He accidentally added to much energy, which caused the spell to grow unstable, and caused it to go off right in front of him. Why the big loss, he overpowered a time spell. His pet sensed this shift in power and knew not to interfere, for it might worsen the effect. El Chupa just sat and watched, whimpering and pained by the fact he could do nothing to help his owner. Finally the spell lost power and stopped. He fell to the ground.
    After a few hours, he came to, and instantly felt something different. He rushed to a mirror, and saw something that made his heart drop. He had aged drastically, and now was at the start of his prime years. He couldn't believe it, he missed out on so much of his life. El Chupa felt his sorrow, and sat next to him. Days passed before Nova finally moved from where he sat. He became very angry. He could feel his Evil Spirit had grown in power, and fury. He quickly caught himself before he lost it. He sighed, knowing the dangers of time spells, he was never going to attempt any recovery, for he may reverse himself into nothingness. After months, he finally accepted the fact that this is who he is now, and must live with it.

   I'm trying to show that Nightmares from the dream realm play by different rules of existence, and that Alicorns of this type are in no way godlike, invincible, or anything related, only being well rounded. I hope this revision of my OC: Super Nova, has shed a little bit more light on the Nightmare race, the Dream Realm, of which they come from, and to show that they have their flaws, and are in no way OP. One of the most common ways a Nightmare ends up Burning out is over use of their total energy. The release such a large quantity of energy that to much was lost and couldn't be replaced in time, and they turn to dust.

Thanks for all feed back and a special thanks to Asterian for telling me about some things i should better explain, and change completely. Hope to see you all out there! Gubai!


After some thinking, a new pony entered my mind and by the time it started to get dark, I had enough info to make a new OC. Oh and if someone can tell me how to add those drop down tabs, I would appreciate it, this is getting to big. Same warning as the one above.
Froth Spiral:
Spoiler: show
Basic Information:
Name: Froth Spiral
Nick Names: Froth, Spiral, Orb
Gender: Young Male
Age: 6
Specialty: Freezing things, Ice
Cute Mark: Thinly frozen orbs spreading out in a spiral formation
Other Talents: Cold weather, Potion Craft, Healing
Race: Unicorn
Likes: Cold, Weather, Water
Dislikes: Heat
Favorite Eats: Snow, Ice, Flowers
Three Great Traits: Nice, Humble, Caring
Three Bad Traits: Very Cold, Quiet, Unpredictable
Fears: Heat, Freezing everything
Special Somepony: None

Intro:

Appearance:
     Icy blue coat, Frozen crystalline mane and tail, horn turns white at tip and has a very small icy mist emanating from it. Blue white Iris for eyes.

Birth:

     One strange winter night, some unknown magical force danced above a frozen lake, and peaces of ice and snow swirled in a twister shape, forming Froth Spiral. the wind then carried him to a nearby cave, and gently laid him down on the ground, which slowly became covered in frost and ice. He quickly aged throughout the night with the help of the magic, then at dawn, Froth awoke, already at the age of 6, but he didn't know that, he even didn't know he was just born a few hours ago. He looked at the ice covered wall and and saw a reflection of him self. He noticed his cute mark, and his eyes lit up for a few seconds, then returned to normal. Froth shook his head at the sudden realization of his name.
     "F-f-froth Spir-r-al" He stammered. For some reason that sounded familiar to him, and decided that was his name, though he didn't know how he came up with that. Then suddenly, another flash of realization that filled him with some hope, he saw the shape of a moderate sized pony, horn glowing, wings outstretched. He had a glowing mane and tail, and some kind of shape on his flank, something he could not describe. With that flash, he realized that he must have been his father of some sort.

Travel:

     Froth left the lake on a quest to find out more about himself and his past. He traveled for many days, but with no luck. He kept pushing forward, never losing sight on the task at hand. He heard about many groups wandering all over Equestria, and decided he would stop at the next sign of any said party, hoping that it may lead to his father.

That is his story... for now. He shall be continuously updated as his adventures take him on a wondrous quest to find out more about himself. Will he ever find the answers to his many questions? Only time will tell...


Any feed back on Froth Spiral would be very appreciated!


Fizzle:
Spoiler: show
Basic Information:
Name: Fizzle
Gender: Young Female
Age: 31
Specialty: Plasma
Other Talents: Healer
Race: Tempest Roc
Likes: Clouds, Lightning, Water
Dislikes: Caves, Ravines
Favorite Eats: Fruit
Three Great Traits: Friendly, Positive, Helpful
Two Negative Traits: Impatient, Headstrong
Fears: Rubber, Caves

Intro:

Birth:

   After a few hundred years, a new Roc is born. Her parents had watched over her for 371 years, and finally she hatched. She had deep purple feather bases, and gray-ish purple feather tips, violet eyes, and crackling tail feathers. Compared to her parents, she was rather small, but soon, would equal their size. They decided it would be only appropriate to name her Fizzle. After the first few decades, she was able to fend for her self, and her parents moved on to another far off land. She had grown quite large, but still nothing compared to a full grown Roc.

    She spent most of her time exploring, training, or resting. Fizzle was extremely fast, faster than most Roc. Fizzle had no trouble creating massive lightning storms, for her speed allowed her to continuously tend to the storm, and it was her speed alone that caused the biggest of lightning strikes. Fizzle did try to restrain herself near forests, for she was not known to hurt anything, ever.

Curiosity:

    Fizzle quickly grew tired of her surroundings, and thought of what the world may have to offer. Soon, she was off, exploring all of what she could. Fizzle encountered many things that fascinated her, like large, continuous mountain ranges, huge oceans, strange island formations, and towering volcanos. But to her, something felt missing. Fizzle was all alone. She realized that even with her wide travels, she has yet to encounter anything other than natural critters.

    Fizzle became more and more lonely, as the years passed. She became less and less more energetic. It was a little bit passed her 31 birthday, when she finally encountered something other than forest animals. Fizzle was resting at a mountain top, when something caught her eye. It was a building, and a fairly large one at that. Upon closer examination, she found out it was part of a large town. Even though she wanted to fly down and meet whatever was down there, she realized that her looks might scare off many of the inhabitants. So, over the course of a few months, Fizzle slowly revealed her presence, by flying through storm clouds, and hovering nearby at night.

     She was not that big still, for it would be a few centuries till she grew to be massive, but she was still noticeable, for she could hear the inhabitants speaking of a strange figure at night, or the shadow that appeared in the clouds. Once talk was at a high, Fizzle decided it was time to show herself. She glided down the mountain, and landed in the town square. This was the first time she got to see who lived in the town, and realized that they were ponies. Many looked at her with awe, yet no one was attempting to approach. Then, a brave youngling ran up to her, and ask who she was. She happily explained everything to the young pony. Soon after, others begain to approach, seeing that she was in noway going to harm them. Fizzle was peppered with questions, which she eagerly answered them all.

     The town folk soon grew attached to Fizzle, for she had helped around the entire town with small tasks. Fizzle was finally happy, once again, and continued to live up in the mountains nearby the town. Fizzle finally found a happy home, and had no intention of leaving.


Thanks for reading, Bubai! :3

Asterian Starfall

2013 Sep 10, 13:39:31 #1 Last Edit: 2013 Sep 10, 14:11:49 by Asterian
Hmm... I must say you have put a lot of thought and time into your first OC. You go out and explain who he is, what the world means to him, and how he acts very well, however, I see a few points here I'd like to raise.

Firstly, you say he is a (Nightmare) Alicorn. This in and of itself singles this OC out from the rest of the group as a member of an elite race. All Alicorns are essentially demigods -- Celestia raises the sun; Luna raises the moon. Cadence presides as princess over the Crystal Empire, and Twilight Sparkle is the most magically adept pony Equestria has seen in centuries. You need to establish some form of incredibly great feat along these lines to separate Super Nova from the general population.

You say that he is an elemental pony. While I'm no expert on Nightmare ponies, if you are going for show accuracy, you need to discard this aspect. There are no elemental ponies (except perhaps Crystal ponies which have no real elemental abilities) in the show. In addition, you say his specialty is Elemental Control, which in layman's terms means his talent is magic -- the same talent as that of Twilight Sparkle's. You are making him powerful in this matter simply by saying that his talent is Elemental Control, and while over-powered beings do exist in Equestria, you need to justify this "overpoweredness" in the manner you need to justify him being an Alicorn.

You also say in the Current Elements in Possession area that he will need to talk to "the one who lives in the library". One can easily assume you mean Twilight Sparkle by this; as such you are shipping him with her in some way, shape, or form -- a dangerous move for any OC. You make him inherently important by involving him with important characters; not because of who he is, but because of who he is with.

His personality seems to conflict in my mind. For instance, you say he is kind and gentle, but then say he is easily angered and destructive if stressed. These traits aren't ones that go together well, if at all. You need to better define his personality without contradicting yourself, unless Super Nova has an alter ego. In that case, you would also need to explain what said ego is like.

You're off on the right track and I would love to see where this OC goes; you just need to sort some things out.
"Luck is how you explain an overly-variabled scenario that went in your favor." - Asterian Élire Starfall

Dragnmastralex

yeah good luck with that... I made my OC and posted him on here and someone copied him after I told them not too even stole his cutie mark and the site admins deleted the thread and said that until I proved he was mine I couldn't use him.  I had links to my original sketch and all which dated back to almost the first season, the copy cat had links to 2 days prior.   They didn't care they still said it was a debate but the guy that copied me was banned from deviant art for art theft of a lot of peoples stuff.

lots of thieves out there and most of them don't care if you have the rights to the name or anything you do. most of them are kids that have no talent or imagination and steal what they like.
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Shadow Mare

Good god that's a lot of words to read...

SuperNovaNightmare

Heheh, yea I had quite the things to say about him. lol

Gracie Sky

I might want to point out that this seems more like a summary of his life story rather than a character introduction topic. The difference is you have most likely told us 90% of everything there is to know about this character in detail. The idea behind an introduction topic is for us to get to know the essence of the character, but still be wanting to learn more; to build interest. Yes, he still has the rest of his life in front of him, but what I'm trying to say is half of a character's development is their history. I find that you've covered his entire past to the point that we, the readers, know far more than we should. You even have him as an enigmatic character, since few ponies even know about him, much less what he has gone through. I feel like we snuck into his diary and published it.

I suggest only stating Equestria's common knowledge on the subject of Nightmares first and then expand from that. As for Super Nova's past, you should only state what he has already stated concerning his past to other ponies, which I reckon isn't much. A character becomes far more interesting when their is a mystery about them we desire to learn more about. The fact that he is the type to keep his secrets to himself allows you the flexibility to reveal such secrets at your own pace, when it is most appropriate.

Regarding the concept of Nightmares, it's rather interesting, but a very dangerous concept due to its violent nature. It seems that they are conceived through sheer will and their purpose is to invade dreams. While I'm not exactly sure why they want to do such things, I can tell you there needs to be balance in this cycle. Right now, it seems they just do whatever they want and just grow stronger and stronger. Might I recommend Luna's influence somewhere in the mix, seeing as she has the ability to manipulate dreams as well (and serves the side of good). Perhaps she could keep them in check.

On to the character himself. He's an over idealized character, there's no doubt in my mind. He's extremely powerful for no reason other than he was born with it. In fact, he was born even more powerful than normal Nightmares, apparently because he got lucky. Despite being raised by Horrors to be essentially evil, he somehow develops a moral compass and regrets everything they stand for. He's humble and polite, which confuses me because the influences in his life are like the exact opposite of humble and polite. I'm almost under the impression he is so respectful just to establish him as a "good guy" even more so. I think he would make more sense as "cold and confused", meaning he wants to NOT be mean, but he doesn't really know how to, so he simply refuses to interact or his interactions are severely subdued.

The general flow of his history is convenient, most of the events lacking any solid reason as to why they occurred, other than to help speed up the plot. The best example is the egg he was handed. Fate clearly conspired to make this event happen as ideally as possible. "You don't know me, but here's an egg." *Vanishes* Oh, this previously unnamed potion is a Growth Potion, because I can identify potions. I'm assuming it's for the egg, since only normal characters actually wait for their eggs to grow. Boom, the egg hatches and produces a Wereling. Not just any Wereling, but an Alpha-Wereling! It's also fully grown and matured now, thanks to the potion. Good thing the Wereling doesn't seem to mind having its infancy and childhood stages involuntarily skipped due to the power of science. In fact, he's pretty tame for a naturally aggressive creature! It must be because I am calm and at peace myself, which allows me to control him. Theatrics aside, I hope you can see the point I'm making. It's difficult for me to believe a few parts of the story because they aren't adequately explained.

This character would be a GREAT superhero... or anti-hero. Either way, such ponies can't really exist in Equestria. They were conjured from pure imagination, and I feel it would be best if they stayed in the imaginary world. If they were to enter the real world of Equestria, which is not their home turf, they would definitely require be toned down.

I apologize if any of that sounded negative. A lot of first OC problems here and there, but you definitely don't lack on the imagination. You simply need to refine it into something others can conceive as viable.
Character Critique Thread

Have your OC fairly and honestly evaluated!

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