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Quote from: Tiger on 2013 Jun 29, 23:49:38
I think Asterian is talking about how the monsters actually have gold in the first place.
Quote from: Asterian on 2013 Jun 29, 15:18:43
Okay, pointing the usual stuff out...
This character is the most down-to-earth of your three characters, and since he isn't a prince or an Alicorn, there's no argument there.
However, I find it unlikely that an emperor would be homeless. A vagabond is somepony who wanders around aimlessly with no place to call home. Comedy Gold on the other hoof actually has one, a fortress as you say.
Taking gold from monsters... This sounds like something straight out of an MMORPG. Most creatures in Equestria are unintelligent and thus don't even bother with gold or things of worth like that, so I deem it highly unlikely that your character could amass a wealth as you depict from slaying monsters. Perhaps he knows an alchemical spell that allows him to transform baser metals like iron into ones of some worth?
His Cutie Mark story. Everypony wants to know how somepony else got their Cutie Mark. You provide no story as to this and say "it just happened". Earning a Cutie Mark does just happen, but it doesn't just happen like that, plus having a Cutie Mark story makes it look like you've put some thought into your OC.
I suggest adding a Cutie Mark story, removing the "vagabond" title, and providing explanation as to how he got rich off of monsters other than saying he looted it.
Quote from: Asterian on 2013 Jun 29, 15:03:31
You seem to like making Alicorn OCs, but don't we all?
Your English needs some work, though.
"Then one day that arrived a few days after that one day, Diamond Dogs."
You also repeat the word "time" to the point of where it feels like I'm in a Doctor Who episode.
Going straight away, this character sounds overpowered to me. In the abilities description, you say he can cast up to twenty spells at a time without loss of stamina. I should point out that Unicorn magic is fueled by will and focus, not strength and stamina. Also, if you're saying "twenty spells" as in "twenty completely different spells", then I must say that's impossible. I haven't seen a single instance in which a pony in the show or otherwise has performed just two spells simultaneously, let alone twenty, completely different ones.
Also, how is he royalty or an Alicorn? I see you'd rather leave that a mystery, but like your other OC, there needs to be a reason. They don't just make anypony an Alicorn.
Having said all that, I think this character is more approachable than your other one, but you need to blot some things out. Try just making him a Unicorn and perhaps providing a little more clarity to his story.
Quote from: Nala Valor on 2013 Jun 29, 14:01:04Quote from: Alexander321 on 2013 Jun 29, 13:54:22cellphone/iPod/ps3/wii/Xbox 360.Quote from: Shadow Mare on 2013 Jun 24, 15:57:59
I seen something like that... I wish I had a PC...
If you don't have a PC, how are you talking to us?
Quote from: Shadow Mare on 2013 Jun 24, 15:57:59
I seen something like that... I wish I had a PC...
Quote from: GlassMirror on 2013 Jun 28, 23:51:34
If he takes gold from monsters, why does his name have comedy in it? I thought he was a comedian.
Probably missed this if you said something about it.
Quote from: Shadow Mare on 2013 Jun 28, 23:43:40
What? The Diamond Dogs may not be the smartest, but pretty sure they can tell the difference between a dragon and a pony.