If I were a pony, this is who I'd be! [REVAMPED]

[MrEmu]

This user is no longer on this site.

[Gingineer]

really like the colors on the pony too! chatbox wont let me post any more messages in a row 

[DextarClaw9]

I also have mine like the one we chat'd

[DawnsEmbrace]

Hm...
Hmm.....
Hmmmmm........

Nope, can't find any flaws.


I am curious about some things though.

Who's his favorite Princess,
how does he spend his time,
does he have a place of work?

Things like that mostly. 

[Edit]:  Also, I'd like to know where he got that stylish bracelet!

[Ramisha]

That's cool. I like ponies who are actually their owners. My pony is me too

[MrEmu]

Updated a few things in my file now!
Any other questions, comments, or critiques? feel free.

[DawnsEmbrace]

Name: *sips his tea* Ummm...still workin' on it.

Cutie Mark: Once again...still workin' on it...

Any other questions? feel free to ask!

Need any help with those?  You were there for Fantaisie, and I'd like to repay that any way I can.

[MrEmu]

Name: *sips his tea* Ummm...still workin' on it.

Cutie Mark: Once again...still workin' on it...

Any other questions? feel free to ask!

Need any help with those?  You were there for Fantaisie, and I'd like to repay that any way I can.

Well my Cutiemark I gotta find myself ya know? and for a name I think I'm fine, but help's always great!
I'm looking for something that would sound good in the show though...

[Gracie Sky]

It's really difficult to critique a ponysona. Saying something bad about a ponysona is indirectly saying something bad about the author, which I try to avoid at all costs. The only thing I could really comment on is he delivery, which yes... I suppose there are a few delivery problems in this. I guess I could also offer methods that would help give greater details on the character, which I have a few in mind.

The main issue is spelling and grammar. I realize you're writing freely and unfiltered, but I tend not to find the smilies and the comments in parenthesis appealing. The smilies and parenthesis aren't a big issue, since it's more of an issue in professionalism, but you should at least make sure all your words are spelled correctly.

From reading about this character... I have deduced he likes tea. I will let you know the third time you repeat it does not emphasize it any further unless it's part of a joke. Still, I would like to know more about this love of tea. Go into extensive detail about his experiences with tea. He's shy, but why is that? Why would a shy pony want to be a professional aerial performer like a Wonderbolt? I think you should focus on describing his most dominant features, rather than going down a checklist of everything you know about him.

[DawnsEmbrace]

INDIGO STEEP

-Eh-Hem-

Sorry, I didn't mean to shout.
I was just so excited to finally find a name I like.
Anyway, there you have it.

That was my best shot.


That took way too long...I'm losing my edge...

[MrEmu]

It's really difficult to critique a ponysona. Saying something bad about a ponysona is indirectly saying something bad about the author, which I try to avoid at all costs.

I understand! But I can take stuff like that, if there's a problem with myself I'd want to know so I can change.

The main issue is spelling and grammar.

HAY! I spel gr8! JK
Yeah I do admit I AM an AWFUL speller and grammerer...I wish I could spell gooder...

From reading about this character... I have deduced he likes tea. I will let you know the third time you repeat it does not emphasize it any further unless it's part of a joke. Still, I would like to know more about this love of tea. Go into extensive detail about his experiences with tea.

Well, it is kinda a joke with all my friends...and I'm just annoying! But his love of tea? same reason as mine, I'll update it soon, just really late right now!

He's shy, but why is that? Why would a shy pony want to be a professional aerial performer like a Wonderbolt? I think you should focus on describing his most dominant features, rather than going down a checklist of everything you know about him.

Heh, well...that was actually put in there because I am deathly shy, but for some odd reason have a dream of...being...a [deleted]...(I'v only told ONE person that! sooo embarrassing! now everypony sees it...)

I have an idea why all this weirdness is here though, look to him bio later, I might have updated it then, I'll try to get around to it Tomorrow. Thanks for the evaluation! I really appreciate it!

P.S. @DawnsEmbrace Indigo steep? It's good but not what I'm looking for, But using "Steep" DID just open my mind to a HOLE new thing of names! I was just looking at types of tea names and "Oolong" sounds gross.
I may try something like "Steep" or "Brew" or something akin to it...

[Edit]: deleted my personal secret dream...heh heh...

[Ramisha]

http://www.teausa.com/14656/glossary-of-terms

[DawnsEmbrace]

http://www.teausa.com/14656/glossary-of-terms

[Chuckles]
Yup, that will do the trick.

[MrEmu]

I REVAMPED THE WHOLE THING! Gracie was right about it being lacking so I started editing it and found it easier to star over... Please feel free to say what you like, dislike, and want to see more of!

[Ramisha]

That's nice, but one thing bugs me. He's a kid, yet he stays inside and reads and drinks tea and all. I'm pretty sure kids love being outside and running and jumping and whatever it is that the little devil spawns do anyway.
Also, a new picture? Cool.

[MrEmu]

That's nice, but one thing bugs me. He's a kid, yet he stays inside and reads and drinks tea and all. I'm pretty sure kids love being outside and running and jumping and whatever it is that the little devil spawns do anyway.

Well, Not sure it was a good thing but I loved to stay inside when I was his age, also I he does love to be outside a good amount, mainly at night time though, He/I just love to see the stars!
But yeah, I give him my flaws as well...

[Ramisha]

Oh right, he's older than the cutie mark templars. At their age kids spend all their time outside and jump around... so annoying. Sorry, I forgot he was older.

[DawnsEmbrace]

Oh right, he's older than the cutie mark templars.

Cutie Mark...Templars?...
...No...
...Tell me they didn't get to the CMC!
Ram, why!?  What would the Templars want with three little fillies?!
They should be fighting the Templars, not joining them!

[Quiet Lamentations]

[Ramisha]

Oh right, he's older than the cutie mark templars.

Cutie Mark...Templars?...
...No...
...Tell me they didn't get to the CMC!
Ram, why!?  What would the Templars want with three little fillies?!
They should be fighting the Templars, not joining them!

[Quiet Lamentations]

Uh well, they ARE called cutie mark CRUSADERS... so they might be working with the templars... 

[GoldenTerrabyte]

What are templars?

Great OC by the way!