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21
Original Characters / Re: My OC Fluttershy Pudding
2014 Feb 27, 22:42:57
This OC could be good, but there is just some serious writing flaws; and I'm not talking about the grammar and spelling. First of all, I feel the need to address this: Discord made her? Why? I'm not even sure he can create life like that! I don't remember it being shown in MLP:FIM that he could do that. The other issue is why does she look like Fluttershy to begin with? You could have easily made her look any way you wanted to. Honestly, I'm sorry, but it feels like you just couldn't be bothered to create your own mane and tail style and that really ruins the "original character" title for me. I have this problem with a few characters in the official show as well, so don't take it personally.
And another thing: so, what's her relation to Zecora? Are they friends? Or did Fluttershy Pudding just up and leave, never seeing Zecora again? This isn't super needed to mention, but it helps your character feel more 3D and not so... background ponyish
Also, how does she operate in society? You say she's shy, but HOW shy? Does she avoid ponies altogether? Or is she like Fluttershy, not minding them but not wanting their attention? This could help develop her. It would be nice to see more traits than just "shy" as well. Otherwise the character seems weird since people can't tell if she's in character or out of character. It can also become a bit boring to some depending on how you use her. I mean, if Applejack was JUST honest and hardworking, she would be pretty plain, wouldn't she? 
So, overall, it's a nice start, but that's all it is: a start. You have a base of a character, but not much more. Ambitions? Fears? Friends? What does she think of Discord? How does she remember him? You said she flew away upon seeing him; does this mean she's scared of him? How connected to society is she? Living in the Everfree Forest implies she doesn't want very much attention. I think this character can become something, but she still needs more work. Something to live for (someONE to live for, prehaps?![:]](https://forum.legendsofequestria.com/Smileys/default/ajawyea.png "Eeyup.")
*wink wink*), anything! Even mentioning minor things can help. For example, let's say I'm an OC. You could say I'm stubborn, a bit shy, and literate (to cover the basics). Okay, what else? I'm a iving thing, I must have more to me. Well, maybe my creator would mention that I love cats, I have a messy room, and that I don't wash my hair as often as I should. BAM. Tiny details added up to something. Now I'm a socially awkward, story writing, cat loving, messy room keeping, shower-phobia having WEIRDO 
And that was just a few small details I added. Anything, no matter how small, adds to a character. For one of my OCs I decided that when she wakes up in the morning, she's a pony who has a pillow on the floor, the blankets scrunched up or kicked off the bed, messy hair, and a bad case of morning brain. I also decided that she has a fear of standing on clouds. Why? She's not the best flyer and is a bit paranoid, that's why! She always thinks she'll fall through and not get those wings flapping quick enough to save herself! 
Anyways, I'm out of time to type and have to get into bed Keep these things in mind, though. Change for a character can be good and makes them believable (that OC I mentioned wasn't created being scared of clouds; I made her be scared of them MONTHS after I made her through roleplay.)
And another thing: so, what's her relation to Zecora? Are they friends? Or did Fluttershy Pudding just up and leave, never seeing Zecora again? This isn't super needed to mention, but it helps your character feel more 3D and not so... background ponyish
Also, how does she operate in society? You say she's shy, but HOW shy? Does she avoid ponies altogether? Or is she like Fluttershy, not minding them but not wanting their attention? This could help develop her. It would be nice to see more traits than just "shy" as well. Otherwise the character seems weird since people can't tell if she's in character or out of character. It can also become a bit boring to some depending on how you use her. I mean, if Applejack was JUST honest and hardworking, she would be pretty plain, wouldn't she? So, overall, it's a nice start, but that's all it is: a start. You have a base of a character, but not much more. Ambitions? Fears? Friends? What does she think of Discord? How does she remember him? You said she flew away upon seeing him; does this mean she's scared of him? How connected to society is she? Living in the Everfree Forest implies she doesn't want very much attention. I think this character can become something, but she still needs more work. Something to live for (someONE to live for, prehaps?
*wink wink*), anything! Even mentioning minor things can help. For example, let's say I'm an OC. You could say I'm stubborn, a bit shy, and literate (to cover the basics). Okay, what else? I'm a iving thing, I must have more to me. Well, maybe my creator would mention that I love cats, I have a messy room, and that I don't wash my hair as often as I should. BAM. Tiny details added up to something. Now I'm a socially awkward, story writing, cat loving, messy room keeping, shower-phobia having WEIRDO And that was just a few small details I added. Anything, no matter how small, adds to a character. For one of my OCs I decided that when she wakes up in the morning, she's a pony who has a pillow on the floor, the blankets scrunched up or kicked off the bed, messy hair, and a bad case of morning brain. I also decided that she has a fear of standing on clouds. Why? She's not the best flyer and is a bit paranoid, that's why! She always thinks she'll fall through and not get those wings flapping quick enough to save herself! Anyways, I'm out of time to type and have to get into bed
Keep these things in mind, though. Change for a character can be good and makes them believable (that OC I mentioned wasn't created being scared of clouds; I made her be scared of them MONTHS after I made her through roleplay.)
22
The Retirement Home / Re: true or false?
2014 Feb 27, 22:09:24
True 
The pony below has a unicorn OC
The pony below has a unicorn OC
23
The Retirement Home / Re: The person above is the new avatar
2014 Feb 23, 18:28:25
Avatar of small arms! 
24
The Retirement Home / Re: If apple bloom was a janitor, her name would be apple broom.
2014 Feb 22, 21:28:01
If Snowdrop were a farmer, her name would be Snowcrop.
(Granted, probably an unsuccessful farmer)
(Granted, probably an unsuccessful farmer
)
25
Canterlot Archives / Re: Celestia, I broke the world. (Sign up OPEN)
2014 Feb 22, 21:25:40
(Behold: continuity! 
)
Two new ponies stepped into Ponyville, a mare and a stallion. The stallion was brown, with a short cut mane and tail, which were a light shade of purple. His eyes were watchful and seeing, but gentle. The mare was a bit small, and hard to see due to the black cloak she wore, the hood up. All a pony could really see was her eyes and coat color; her eyes were soft, bringing forth the feeling of dominance to anypony who looked at her, like they could simply breathe with her nearby and she'd fall over. They were green, with long eyelashes. Her coat color was deep red with a hint of brown. Her hair was hidden underneath the hood, though, and it was anypony's guess as to what it looked like. Maybe she didn't have any hair. Maybe it was ugly. Maybe it was normal. Hay, maybe it flowed and shone like Celestia's or Luna's. It was also evident from the way the hood rested that she had no horn. It seemed she was an earth-pony, but it was possible for her to have wings under the concealing cloth.
The male unicorn trotted forwards a few paces, eyes wide with amazement. "Wow. This is such a nice little village! Where I come from it's big and noisy, ponies rushing everywhere. This may seem boring to some, but I think it's quite charming, don't you think?" he asked, turning to look at the mare. She just quietly walked past him, head down. He stared after her, ears falling flat and frowning. Galloping briefly, he caught back up and nudged her lightly. "Come on. Let's go talk to a few ponies; see what they know. Or, hopefully, don't know."
~~~~
Pinkie Pie galloped full-speed after Laserbolt, keeping pace with him as the forest rose up on either side of them. "Raaaaaawr, forest! We're not afraid of you!" she hollered into the dark, bouncing over logs and plants that got into the way, giggling all the while.
)Two new ponies stepped into Ponyville, a mare and a stallion. The stallion was brown, with a short cut mane and tail, which were a light shade of purple. His eyes were watchful and seeing, but gentle. The mare was a bit small, and hard to see due to the black cloak she wore, the hood up. All a pony could really see was her eyes and coat color; her eyes were soft, bringing forth the feeling of dominance to anypony who looked at her, like they could simply breathe with her nearby and she'd fall over. They were green, with long eyelashes. Her coat color was deep red with a hint of brown. Her hair was hidden underneath the hood, though, and it was anypony's guess as to what it looked like. Maybe she didn't have any hair. Maybe it was ugly. Maybe it was normal. Hay, maybe it flowed and shone like Celestia's or Luna's. It was also evident from the way the hood rested that she had no horn. It seemed she was an earth-pony, but it was possible for her to have wings under the concealing cloth.
The male unicorn trotted forwards a few paces, eyes wide with amazement. "Wow. This is such a nice little village! Where I come from it's big and noisy, ponies rushing everywhere. This may seem boring to some, but I think it's quite charming, don't you think?" he asked, turning to look at the mare. She just quietly walked past him, head down. He stared after her, ears falling flat and frowning. Galloping briefly, he caught back up and nudged her lightly. "Come on. Let's go talk to a few ponies; see what they know. Or, hopefully, don't know."
~~~~
Pinkie Pie galloped full-speed after Laserbolt, keeping pace with him as the forest rose up on either side of them. "Raaaaaawr, forest! We're not afraid of you!" she hollered into the dark, bouncing over logs and plants that got into the way, giggling all the while.
26
Canterlot Archives / Re: The Late Cutie Marks (Sign up)
2014 Feb 21, 19:58:38
OOC: Sorry, I'm short on time for this post 
Click Clack, a yellow earth pony, sat under a shady tree in one of Ponyville's parks. She watched as some ponies milled about, and 2 fillies played a ways off. She sighed as she watched them all, unable to not notice the designs they had earned. The cutie mark was important; it showed who you really were. What, was her talent being a nobody? She hoped not! Even one of the fillies had a cutie mark! Her mother had told her when she was little that everypony gets his or her mark eventually. Click Clack had waited, and waited, and waited, but it simply never came. Why not?
As she thought about this, a joyful cry rang out. She looked up and saw another pony, a colt, who she hadn't even noticed. He was standing in the large dirt path, with a few designs etched into the ground. She couldn't tell what they were, but she noticed the fading glimmer on his flank. A cutie mark. Whatever it was she wouldn't know, because ponies swarmed around him, congratulating him.
Slowly Click Clack backed away, before bumping into something. Gasping, she spun around to see the two fillies. The one with her cutie mark gasped and nudged the other. "Look! She doesn't have a cutie mark, either! I told you you're not the only one!" she said. The blank flanked filly stared dumbfounded at Click Clack. "You're kinda old to not have a cutie mark, aren't you?" she asked, looking a bit worried. Click Clack shifted uncomfortably, eyes darting side to side. "I, well, I'm not that old, you know? I still have plenty of time. Heh heh. Well, I'll just be off now!" she awkwardly told them before galloping away, tears stinging behind her eyes.
A colt! A colt had to earn his cutie mark right in front of me! Why? And then those two fillies noticed that I didn't have one!
She stopped as she entered town square, panting. No matter what she did, it was never enough to get her cutie mark. Was it a health issue? A defect? Was she just trying too hard? Or did she have no special talent?
Click Clack, a yellow earth pony, sat under a shady tree in one of Ponyville's parks. She watched as some ponies milled about, and 2 fillies played a ways off. She sighed as she watched them all, unable to not notice the designs they had earned. The cutie mark was important; it showed who you really were. What, was her talent being a nobody? She hoped not! Even one of the fillies had a cutie mark! Her mother had told her when she was little that everypony gets his or her mark eventually. Click Clack had waited, and waited, and waited, but it simply never came. Why not?
As she thought about this, a joyful cry rang out. She looked up and saw another pony, a colt, who she hadn't even noticed. He was standing in the large dirt path, with a few designs etched into the ground. She couldn't tell what they were, but she noticed the fading glimmer on his flank. A cutie mark. Whatever it was she wouldn't know, because ponies swarmed around him, congratulating him.
Slowly Click Clack backed away, before bumping into something. Gasping, she spun around to see the two fillies. The one with her cutie mark gasped and nudged the other. "Look! She doesn't have a cutie mark, either! I told you you're not the only one!" she said. The blank flanked filly stared dumbfounded at Click Clack. "You're kinda old to not have a cutie mark, aren't you?" she asked, looking a bit worried. Click Clack shifted uncomfortably, eyes darting side to side. "I, well, I'm not that old, you know? I still have plenty of time. Heh heh. Well, I'll just be off now!" she awkwardly told them before galloping away, tears stinging behind her eyes.
A colt! A colt had to earn his cutie mark right in front of me! Why? And then those two fillies noticed that I didn't have one!
She stopped as she entered town square, panting. No matter what she did, it was never enough to get her cutie mark. Was it a health issue? A defect? Was she just trying too hard? Or did she have no special talent?
27
Canterlot Archives / Re: The Late Cutie Marks OOC
2014 Feb 21, 10:49:17
Oh, yea. We can start. I'm having an inactivity streak
28
The Retirement Home / Re: rate the avatar above you
2014 Feb 20, 20:11:15
5/10
Heh heh, I got a new super cute avatar due to safety reasons
LOOK AT IT!
Heh heh, I got a new super cute avatar due to safety reasons
LOOK AT IT!
29
Canterlot Archives / Re: Celestia, I broke the world. (Sign up OPEN)
2014 Feb 20, 20:09:21
Pinkie trotted after him, looking thoughtful. "Weeeeeell, everypony's different. Don't feel bad, even if an infant is better at flying than you!" she told him, smiling.
30
Canterlot Archives / Re: Celestia, I broke the world. (Sign up thread)
2014 Feb 20, 20:07:11
Accepted~
31
Canterlot Archives / Re: Celestia, I broke the world. (Sign up OPEN)
2014 Feb 20, 18:52:26
Pinkie nodded eagerly. "You betcha'! Oh, and you shouldn't worry about your wings too much. After all, they're brand new to you. Just like a pony born as a pegasus; you don't see them flying right away either!" she told him reassuringly.
32
Canterlot Archives / Re: Celestia, I broke the world. (Sign up OPEN)
2014 Feb 19, 17:43:13
((Poor OOC thread 
Anyways, sorry. I've reached that moment of a website where you were SO active you are now kinda bored with it in a way. Here:))
As he crashed to the ground, Pinkie rushed out of the building, seemingly faster than should of been possible. "Wow! That was cool! You soared out the window before plummeting down!" she cried, jumping around and waving her arms. "And then CRASH!," she punched the ground "You slammed into the earth below! ...Oh! That's right! Are you okay?" she asked, regaining focus and worrying for her friend.
Anyways, sorry. I've reached that moment of a website where you were SO active you are now kinda bored with it in a way. Here:))As he crashed to the ground, Pinkie rushed out of the building, seemingly faster than should of been possible. "Wow! That was cool! You soared out the window before plummeting down!" she cried, jumping around and waving her arms. "And then CRASH!," she punched the ground "You slammed into the earth below! ...Oh! That's right! Are you okay?" she asked, regaining focus and worrying for her friend.
33
The Retirement Home / Re: Corrupt a wish
2014 Feb 17, 23:07:33
HTESFSDGFDTR I'M SORRY I FORGOT 
It was 10:00 PM or something :C
Granted, but the game is now lost.
I wish I could remember stuff better
It was 10:00 PM or something :CGranted, but the game is now lost.
I wish I could remember stuff better
34
The Retirement Home / Re: Corrupt a wish
2014 Feb 17, 21:44:13
Good thing I don't have a problem with Twist
Granted, but now you have to deal with millions of people commenting and watching you, and can't do anything embarrassingly stupid or you'll be judged harshly.
Also, trolls
Granted, but now you have to deal with millions of people commenting and watching you, and can't do anything embarrassingly stupid or you'll be judged harshly.
Also, trolls
36
The Retirement Home / Re: Corrupt a wish
2014 Feb 17, 17:00:59
Granted, but they're way overpriced.
I wish Luna got a song in season 4!
I wish Luna got a song in season 4!
37
The Retirement Home / Re: Corrupt a wish
2014 Feb 17, 12:44:44
Granted, but hghfcngyrfhffzsfh, the heck is an exam.
I wish we could learn more about Pinkie's family.
I wish we could learn more about Pinkie's family.
38
The Retirement Home / Re: Corrupt a wish
2014 Feb 15, 21:50:32
Granted, but they all now love you so much you never have any alone time.
I wish I wrote a book that became famous.
I wish I wrote a book that became famous.
39
Canterlot Archives / Re: The Late Cutie Marks (Sign up thread)
2014 Feb 13, 17:00:22
Mmm-hmmm, accepted
Alright guys, since my nekonians may not be complete soon, I'm going to use another OC for the time being. I'll bring in the 2 sisters later on in the RP.
Name: Click Clack
Gender: female
Age: 14
Race: earth pony
Appearance:
Does your pony already do their special talent?: No
Other: In her image she has her cutie mark; ignore it. For this RP she has no cutie mark
Alright guys, since my nekonians may not be complete soon, I'm going to use another OC for the time being. I'll bring in the 2 sisters later on in the RP.
Name: Click Clack
Gender: female
Age: 14
Race: earth pony
Appearance:
Spoiler: show
Does your pony already do their special talent?: No
Other: In her image she has her cutie mark; ignore it. For this RP she has no cutie mark
40
The Retirement Home / Re: Make a new word starting with the last letter of the last word! (Reuploaded)
2014 Feb 11, 22:31:30
Agriculture