Jenzy's OCs!

Started by Jenzy, 2012 Dec 13, 00:17:47

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Jenzy

2012 Dec 13, 00:17:47 Last Edit: 2013 Mar 22, 03:52:41 by Jenzy
Alright. Feel free to criticize on how I did with this and what I can do to improve on backstory and information.

Spoiler: Jenzy • show

General Information
Name-Jenzy
Race-Earth Pony (may become Pegasus/Unicorn. Explanation below)
Age-19
Height-3 feet 4 inches (not really sure about pony heights)
Cutie Mark-3DS stylus overlapping a music note, showing his love for music, drawing, and gaming.
Likes-Drawing, music, reading, swimming, running, being helpful, playing, Cinnamon Rolls
Dislikes-mean ponies, others being hurt/injured, trap doors
Personality-Energetic, adventurous, somewhat shy, playful
Other-Jenzy discovers a mysterious pipe around the age of 12. He went in and saw a whole new world before his eyes. He went searching around the place and found "items." He found the ability of power-ups. He returned a Fire Flower with him. At 14, he met a friend named Somneom. He asked if he would try the Fire Flower. It didn't work on him. Only on Jenzy.
Spoiler: His ability • show


He decided to experiment with the Flower, and it gave Somneom the ability to use Power-Ups, and others too, as he somehow broke the barrier of Item use from the two worlds, that kept Somneom from using the items. In that world, he found the rare P-Wing in a treasure chest, which gave him temporary wings. He lost them after completing a level, or whenever he flew too fast. He also finds a mysterious Magic Carrot which gave him the abilities of a Unicorn from the Everfree Forest. He decided to learn more about magic later. A basic one he uses is powering-down from the Carrot, which he stores  The power-ups he use vanish if he is hurt badly. He got a saddlebag with Lyra's cutie mark on his 15th birthday. Used it to carry an item and stuff for school. Also, around the age of 16 in Spring, he got a Sonic Toothbrush from an Art Convention. Then he mets a mysterious pony called "The Doctor" when he got back from Canterlot. He went on an adventure with him and made his saddlebag "bigger on the inside" to hold up to 6 Power-ups and his Sonic Toothbrush functionable.
Spoiler: With Saddlebag, Wing, Magic Carrot, and his house • show



Bio
Jenzy was born an only-foal in the Fillypines. He spent most of his time there with his parents and grandparents for about 7 years. His father left him from an argument with his mother. Later, his mother decided to move to Ponyville. He met his new step-father and got to make some nice friends there as well as going through education. He found out about his interest of music and drawing, as well as gaming, which earned him his cutie-mark. He also found out some time in his early adolescent years about his ability to use these strange and wonderful items. Power-ups. He found them through a pipe that he had gone in, to a new world. He enjoys visiting that world from time to time. He found out a friend had been kidnapped and has joined forces with humans called Mario and Luigi from a land called "World Cactus." After that, He has also found an interest of adventuring. The years after got better and better for him, learning to use his items, making more friends he encounters in his adventures, and finally moving into his own home someplace in Ponyville.
Jenzy now lives in an average sized house, taking care of the young changeling Zappy while Nova is living in Canterlot. He receives flasks each week regularly via (Derpy) Mail to ensure he's got enough "love" for him to be stable. He's still eager to meet more ponies and go through many adventures. Including visiting a hive of changelings and visiting a new desert with others. He's also part of the Dimension Jumpers.

One time, a book belonging to Physics (the dark gods) led him to this temple in the Everfree Forest. This led him to certain ponies that attacked him, which he defeated and platformed through different rooms. The book told him to be placed on a pedestal that let to opening to a treasure room, with a griffon-pony wearing an amulet. Jenzy touched an amulet and let a daemon inside him. After that, ponies started to attack Jenzy and the daemon lended him a hoof to use its powers, which was painful for Jenzy, having this icy feeling in his body. For some time later, it took control over Jenzy and caused chaos in some part of Ponyville. Zappy, Zenryo and J helped get rid of the daemon. After going to the hospital, he was healthy again.


Spoiler: Other Photos of Jenzy • show


Spoiler: Paper Jenzy (In Progress) • show

General Information
Name-(Paper) Jenzy
Race-Paper Earth Pony (may become Paper Pegasus/Unicorn temporarily via stickers.)
Age-19
Height-2 inches
Cutie Mark-3DS stylus overlapping a music note, just like the main Jenzy.
Likes-Looking around Real Equestria, running, being helpful, playing, Sticker items
Dislikes-being crumpled, soggy, fire, other paper mishaps, being feared by ponies
Personality-Cheerful, adventurous, somewhat serious, playful
Other-It is unknown whether the Book was always a portal to Equestria, or that the fire from the daemon had some magic that opened the map.




Bio
Paper Jenzy lived in this Book of Maps and Items. To him, it's basically like the Real Equestria outside of the book. In the book, everything, well almost everything, is made of paper, cardboard, construction paper, etc. he's lived a life quite similar to Jenzy in Paper Equestria.

Spoiler: Blaze Drifter • show

General Information
Name-Blaze Drifter
Race-Earth Pony
Age-18
Height-3 feet 4 inches
Cutie Mark-Flaming Steering Wheel, showing her blazing turning skills! Drifting
Likes-Karting, running, music, reading, swimming, being helpful, playing
Dislikes-ponies underestimating her skill, being irritated by others, ponies insulting others
Personality-Energetic, adventurous, tomboy-ish, competitive
Other-Blaze Drifter met Jenzy around her teenage years. They got to know one another and Jenzy took her to the Mushroom Kingdom. She got to experience of racing in the Grand Prix, with her Standard Kart. As she raced, she got significantly better and better at mastering her drifting, thus earning her cutie mark. Her Kart was then added her cutie mark as her emblem.

Bio
Blaze Drifter was born in Vanhoover. She lived the usual things ponies went through. Education, getting to know others, etc. A bit later, during her teen years, she had found out her talent of driving a Kart and being able to make fairly smooth turns and drifts in various race tracks. Though, she hasn't been able to do that much driving in Equestria. Her parents were rather surprised after hearing that she has earned her cutie mark from another world. They were rather proud of her though for that. She was unable to bring her Kart back to Equestria, so from time to time, Jenzy and Blaze would use his method of travel to the Mushroom Kingdom when they held Grand Prix Cups. She's more than a racer though. She also enjoys many other activities as well.

She currently lives on her own house in Ponyville. From time to time, she would visit Jenzy or vice versa, and they would go on an adventure together. Blaze Drifter also meets a pony named Diesel and she received a Kart that he made, which Diesel really didn't want to just stay in his garage. She happily took it off Diesel's hooves and also shares it with Jenzy. Sometimes she visits Rider, Static Boom, and Diesel to drive around their dirt track in the Everfree Forest.


Spoiler: Somneom (Incomplete!) • show
[Physical description:
Light Pink Mane - Front part of mane like Rainbow Dash's, back part shorter.
Light Pink Tail - Like Twilight Sparkle's, but no "stripes"]
General Information
Name-Somneom
Race-Unicorn
Age-20
Height-3 feet 4 inches
Cutie Mark-A white cloud overlapping a smaller cloud with a moon symbol to the top corner showing his talent of alchemy and dreams.
Likes-[to be added]
Dislikes-[to be added]
Personality-[to be added]
Other-The reason ponies can use Power-ups besides Jenzy.




Bio
[to be added]


Doctor Light

I liek dat backstory. Anyways, great job! Fillypines? Adorable.... I should make a pic of all 3 of us before Christmas.
Hey, I like Doctor Who, writing, playing and singing music, badminton, and MLP.

Gracie Sky

He would make a great Equestrian video game character. Outside that scope of fiction... it's a hard sell.
Character Critique Thread

Have your OC fairly and honestly evaluated!

Enstramentall

Sounds great, Jenzy! I especially love the backstory, really well done!  ^-^
[move][/move] Hi! Hello! Hola! Benvenidos! Bonjour! Gutentag! :P I think you get the idea.

Jenzy

I could add a "Spell-List" for the spells Jenzy knows as "a Unicorn." And the power of the Magic and its effects if overused/too powerful.

Enstramentall

[move][/move] Hi! Hello! Hola! Benvenidos! Bonjour! Gutentag! :P I think you get the idea.

Jenzy

I PM'd The Wandering Magus and got his feedback.

I'll be sure to add on and make it all lengthy and boring add on the information he mentioned like, "Does he have siblings?" or "How did Mom and Dad react to Jenzy disappear to the other world and back?"

As well as that moment a Daemon possesses Jenzy, becoming this tough beast! (Thanks the dark gods lol)


Well, I'm starting to work on Paper Jenzy's bio and added on to Jenzy's backstory.

Any thoughts? Critiques?

Gracie Sky

What's a Daemon? Is it a Demon with an extra "a" to make it an original word? :P
Character Critique Thread

Have your OC fairly and honestly evaluated!

The Silent Wolf

Quote from: Gracie Sky on 2013 Jan 24, 20:14:12
What's a Daemon? Is it a Demon with an extra "a" to make it an original word? :P
I think this is a daemon.
Spoiler: show

I like Paper Jenzy the most, but normal Unca Jenz Jenz is cool to!
If The Silent Wolf is to long, just call me Kake

Skype if you happen to want to talk to me: Pokemonvskirby
I'm a little seal nerd, short and stout, here is my flipper, here is my snout~

Tiger

I say, Jenzy is quite a well developed OC  :]

I find his ability a bit overpowered. I mean, you gotta think about it. Ability to throw fireballs without being a unicorn. Ability to glide without being a pegasus. Ability to actually BECOME a pegasus. And ability to hold large boomerangs that probably weigh 10 kg with one hoof. Honestly, it's quite OP.

Like how most ponies on these forums are actually quite OP and/or able to live for 1000 years  >:/

He's basically Mario in Equestria with all these abilities. Maybe, to balance him, each time he gets one of the abilities, some skill of his decreases? Example, when he gets the fire flower ability, his speed decreases?

A link to my tumblr above!
Tiger's OC page. Should re-do it...

Jenzy

Thanks ^-^

Originally, if it wasn't for Somneom, he would be more than OP. ovO

It really is still Jenzy's own ability though, since the others don't really come across the items. x3

Well...

Fireball: Fireball bounces 5 times before fading. Range: 7 feet.
Pegasus: There's a Weak (P-Wing) and Strong (Wing) version. Both quite RARE.
Boomerang: Jenzy almost never comes across one and prefers not to use it in public. Wow, that's one Heavy Boomerang! I haven't RP'd this form yet. I don't know what to do with it yet.
Raccoon: He does go as a Raccoon sometimes. Yeah, like SMB3, it has the temporary flight. And tail-swiping.

Uh, at least the items are rare. Currently, he carries none. They burned.

Oh yeah and (Not used at all yet)...
Gold Carrot: Super Duper Rare Alicorn Power-up. Limited-time use, 1 minute, 30 seconds. Not allowed to extend time. Can (Gold-tinted) Rainboom with ease as RD's.


Jenzy will soon have a Class of "Magical and Mysterious Items Study" In the Royal Academy of Magic. (Focuses NOT just on Mario Items, but others as well, also including Equestria ones)

Gracie Sky

Um... exactly how serious are you about Paper Jenzy, by the way?

I mean, when you think about it, Paper Mario is a spinoff of the original, but part of a completely separate universe.
You're not spinning off of your own OC, are you?
Granted he is cute in paper form, but is he a completely separate character?
Character Critique Thread

Have your OC fairly and honestly evaluated!

Jenzy

I've already RP'd as him and has already met the actual Jenzy. x3

But I'll try to focus on the original. Not exactly sure how serious. It feels like it's a bad thing, and I'm a bit frightened. :I

Blues-Music

I really adore Jenzy. I kind of wanted to make an O.C similar to him , but I don't want to feel like i'm ripping you off. In fact maybe if you agree the O.Cs could be friends ^-^.

Jenzy

Quote from: Blues-Music on 2013 Jan 28, 10:25:46
I really adore Jenzy. I kind of wanted to make an O.C similar to him , but I don't want to feel like i'm ripping you off. In fact maybe if you agree the O.Cs could be friends ^-^.

Heh... I'm kind of flattered X3

Well, let's see. Anypony can basically use any Power-Ups since...
"Somneom decided to experiment with the Flower, and it gave Somneom the ability to use Power-Ups, and others too, as he somehow broke the barrier of Item use from the two worlds, that kept Somneom from using the items."


I still have to make Somneom's backstory. I have a friend who's going to help me as even though I made him, we kinda agreed in the past that it was his sona. Since he has his own now, Somneom belongs to me again.

Anyway, so how's the pony going to be like? Maybe they're like "The Brothers!" lol

Doctor Light

When I realize I can't get on your level.
Hey, I like Doctor Who, writing, playing and singing music, badminton, and MLP.

Blues-Music

Quote from: Jenzy on 2013 Jan 29, 23:18:34
Quote from: Blues-Music on 2013 Jan 28, 10:25:46
I really adore Jenzy. I kind of wanted to make an O.C similar to him , but I don't want to feel like i'm ripping you off. In fact maybe if you agree the O.Cs could be friends ^-^.

Heh... I'm kind of flattered X3

Well, let's see. Anypony can basically use any Power-Ups since...
"Somneom decided to experiment with the Flower, and it gave Somneom the ability to use Power-Ups, and others too, as he somehow broke the barrier of Item use from the two worlds, that kept Somneom from using the items."


I still have to make Somneom's backstory. I have a friend who's going to help me as even though I made him, we kinda agreed in the past that it was his sona. Since he has his own now, Somneom belongs to me again.

Anyway, so how's the pony going to be like? Maybe they're like "The Brothers!" lol
Thank you for allowing me.
Also i'm making the O.C thread for him as we speak. If you would like we can make the friends , or intervene with each others story ^-^ .

Jenzy

Quote from: Blues-Music on 2013 Jan 30, 09:33:23
Thank you for allowing me.
Also i'm making the O.C thread for him as we speak. If you would like we can make the friends , or intervene with each others story ^-^ .

Yeah. PM me about it... :)


Updated Blaze Drifter's Info. Any Critiques?

What else should I add on to her story?

ArtVeigar

Man, I really love your OCs! Mario+MLP = Overwhelming awsomeness! :3
The only thing more awesome than the OCs it's the art you made for them!

I don't know if it was already done here, but have you ever thought about the possibility of creating a Super Pony World RP? It would be awesome! :D

super_chris85

Now i'm curious if there is now a mario-like pony it will only be time before others bring in Chaos emeralds or Link-like ponies or other games into this Forum site but over-all i like all of your o.c.s they are well thought out

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