Before I get to Chapter 2, allow me to write another review. Oh, Zecora would approve of a sentence like that!
Anyway, here comes part 2 of my review of Chapter 1.
Let's see... Where do I begin to explain? I guess I'll be starting off at the part Midnight meets Pinkie Pie.
So Midnight bumps into Pinkie Pie not too long after he has arrived in Ponyville. Skipping over the part where Midnight greets Pinkie Pie (Which is like half the chapter), I must say you pulled off her personality pretty well. Sure, there were a few things off about her. Not to mention you could have made her a bit more hyper. But hey, nopony's perfect, right?
After figuring out Midnight is staying in the basement of some work shop all by himself, Pinkie Pie suddenly thought that a pet would be perfect to keep him company. So she brought him to one of her best friends, Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie had to leave shortly after that, which leaves Fluttershy, and Midnight, two shy ponies, alone. Now, I know Fluttershy isn't the only shy pony in the world, but to me, it felt like Midnight's personality was a little too close to Fluttershy's at this point. Me being a Flutterhsy fan, I'm gonna have to say, you pulled her personality off better than Pinkie Pie's! Sure, she wasn't that shy, but I understand, since she was under the animal subject for the most part. Midnight adopts a jet black raven with purple eyes, and I am going to end that part there. Although I find a laughing raven a bit...weird.
And then Midnight finally arrives at "Widget's Gizmos and Gadgets"! The last place he visits in this chapter! The place where he's going to be working while in Ponyville! The place seemed to have belong to a dark green middle aged mare named Ms. Widget. I did not expect a mare to be running the place, but then again, Equestria has a lot more mares than stallion. A letter for Midnight arrived from his mother (Summer Breeze) before he got there, which he looks into a little later. Ms. Widget took Midnight to a room in the back of a shop that seemed to be messy with a lot of things Midnight has never seen. Come to find out, they were personal tools of Ms. Widget. So they talked a bit, he got approved for the job, she left him to get settled in his new room, and out of nowhere, Moonbeam (Name of the raven he adopted) has came to give Midnight the letter that was mentioned earlier.
In the letter, Midnight's mother was saying something about how much she misses him (Despite the fact he wasn't gone very long), and she was hoping he wouldn't get the job
so he would come back home. She was
hoping he wouldn't get the job... The way she said it makes me think she already
knew he got the job, even though he just
got it right before he read the letter. Midnight responded to the letter with another letter detailing his events in Ponyville so far, and that's pretty much it.
So... That was a pretty interesting chapter. There were a few flaws in the characters' personality, some grammar errors, and at times, I've noticed the words were spaced out more than they needed to be. But for the most part, they're just minor mistakes, and it was enjoyable overall. So I'll give this a... 7 out of 10 I guess? (7/10)
Getting ready for the next chapter.