My OC: Gilded Cross

Started by Deft Autumn, 2017 Jun 24, 20:23:47

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Deft Autumn

2017 Jun 24, 20:23:47 Last Edit: 2017 Jun 24, 20:33:13 by Deft Autumn
Hello! This is an OC I've put a good deal of thought into! I'd love to hear some constructive criticism as well as some other advice on the character!

Name: Gilded Cross
Gender: Mare
Race: Unicorn
Age: 18/?? - 30
Occupation: Private/Lieutenant in the canterlot guard

Personality: Gilded Cross is rather brash and cocky, due to her performance in the guard. However, this cocky attitude often gets her in trouble with her superior's and leads to her being put onto cleaning duty and other punishments. She is quick to anger and during assignments, she often puts her fellow guards in danger due to her complete lack of caution and her own selfish ambitions. / Gilded Cross has grown out of her childish ways after coming to terms with the ramifications her actions can hold. She is now much more humble, and has a sense of duty to protect those in danger, even if it puts her life in danger. She is much more cautious and calculating, and supports her fellow guards to bring them up, rather than leaving them behind. She has become a more authoritative figure, and now knows how to properly take on a leadership or supporting role.

Cutiemark: A golden cross

Equipment: She wears a mixture of mail and plate, and her main weapon is a polearm, however she is still proficient with most other two-handed melee weapons.

Special Talent: Gilded Cross' special talent is enchantment of objects. She can put a variety of enchantments to improve an objects performance. For example, she could enchant an article of clothing to be better at absorbing impact, or alter the weight of an object so it is heavier or lighter. However, even though her enchantments are varied, she cannot use magic like a normal unicorn, the range of her non enchantment spells only includes her telekinesis, otherwise she is unable to perform spells like other unicorns without the aid of an enchanted object. But, she can adjust the strength of the enchantment at the expense of a duration. A permanent enchantment is the weakest she can cast, but the shorter the duration, the stronger the effect. She can also massively boost the strength of an enchantment for a maximum of five minutes, taking them to whole new levels, however this comes at the expense of heavily damaging the item and totally draining her magic for a period of three days.

History: Gilded Cross was born into a Knight family, with both her parents being part of the guard before they were honorably discharged and decided to settle down and have a child. Her mother was an earth pony, and her father was a unicorn. Once Gilded got to the age of 10 her father began teaching her combat, while her mother taught her about knowledge and how to asses a situation, leading her to be farther ahead than a good portion of the other recruits once she joined the guard, leading to her cockiness. However, Once Gilded got to the age of 16, her parents passed away after being caught in a house fire. Gilded took it badly at first, but resolved herself that she would keep on going with her training, and that she would make her parents proud. two years later, burying the sadness she faced only made her behavioral issues worse. Eventually they got so bad that on a patrol with some fellow guards, her actions resulted in their demise. She had been angry about a guard, stating that she was no good and would just get ponies hurt. Because of this she had set a trap in the surrounding forest, she was supposed to save the other guards, but everything went wrong, on the way to the trap site that Gilded was leading the group too, a group of Timberwolves ambushed the group, as they fought them off, they kept being pushed back into the trap Gilded had set, Gilded ended being pushed out of the way by another guard after she had been clawed by a timberwolf, afterwards the trap sprung, causing a landslide to bury not only the Timberwolves, but the other guards as well. This event traumatized Gilded, and was the catalyst for her growth into the Pony she became, as the shame and anger towards herself that she felt, forced her to cast aside her old persona, and become the opposite of the one who hurt her friends.

Other: She is a past character, she lived in the era between discord and nightmare moon. However due to a massive expulsion of magic due to her efforts to save the life of another, she was turned to stone from the backlash. Recently she returned to her original state, and is confused about the world before her.

Appearance: (She has a scar on her muzzle) (Insert Image does not work so I will post a link)

Link: http://imgur.com/a/6df58 (The digital art was done by a friend, however the armor in the sketch drawings is her actual set.

I also have a question, this character is supposed to see a lot of action, but I am unsure of how much action is allowed until it becomes "Violence" and is against the rules? I've tried to look at other posts to figure it out, but I'm still unsure.



"Ok fine, but I'm going to complain the whole time." - Jayfeather

Gamepaw

Violence wise - Cartoony/PG-13

To post a image into the post, use the direct image link. Those ending in .png .jpeg .gif

Deft Autumn

Oh, Okay, thanks for the help, I really appreciate it!
"Ok fine, but I'm going to complain the whole time." - Jayfeather

GlassMirror

I have a Dragon Pony OC named Gilded Vane, so these are quite close (somewhat. xD)

Anyways, this is a well thought out story, it probably isn't that violent, but I could be wrong. xD
She's a great OC overall. C:

Deft Autumn

Thanks! I also thought it should be toned down to match the site better.  X3
"Ok fine, but I'm going to complain the whole time." - Jayfeather

Misty Fly

Deft if someone like GlassMirror replied your oc thread then you really made a good oc
Magic...

Thunder Spin

2017 Jun 27, 00:57:08 #6 Last Edit: 2017 Jun 27, 00:59:42 by Thundergirl
From what I got GlassMirror only enters very interesting RPs. And I need to change my first OCs' backstories because they're awful. Anyway, Deft Autumn you made a pretty long backstory that I am bored to read but seems super good.

Deft Autumn

Sorry about that  :l It's actually shorter than it should be cause it's simplified!  lol
"Ok fine, but I'm going to complain the whole time." - Jayfeather

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