hazardtime's OC List

[hazardtime]

Name: Low Key
Age: 22
Race: Unicorn
Gender: Stallion
Body Color: Gray
Mane Color: Off-White
Cutie Mark: Bass Clef
Talents/Strengths: Talented bass guitarist, magical hands similar to Lyra's fanon ability, impartial, patient, mature, basic understanding of the Stalliongrad dialect
Weaknesses: Bashful, shies away from commitments, keeps his true feelings bottled up

Spoiler: Bio • show

  Born in Stalliongrad, Low Key only lived there for two years before his parents immigrated to a suburb in Manehattan.  From an early age, the young colt demonstrated a very tenacious, if eccentric, personality, reaching out to his associates and attempting to socialize.  Unfortunately, Low did not seem to understand when other ponies simply did not want to be friends.  Being pushed away only made him want to try harder to be accepted, unintentionally pestering and even creeping on other ponies.  This finally prompted his peers to ostracize him completely, resorting to more and more belligerent tactics to get him to leave them alone.
  The hazing reached its apex around his mid-teens, when several events led to him rethinking his life.  One such event occurred as he was sitting with some associates whom reluctantly tolerated his presence at recess.  On the topic of fillies, one of the colts asked Low his opinion on one of their more popular classmates.  After convincing him to admit to some more disgusting fantasies, his classmates promptly informed the filly in question of Low's lechery.  This in turn led to a nasty confrontation in the halls involving disgusted rage, a bruise-inducing slap to the face, and many tears of shame.
  On several other occasions, Low would walk by and overhear other ponies talking behind his back, some not seeming to care if he heard.  Unable to trust anypony and convinced that his try-hard attitude had alienated his entire class, Low stopped socializing entirely.  By his late teens, he had become an introvert, preferring to stay inside and read.
  Around that time was when he got his cutie mark.  A group of foals had formed a band and received permission to play during lunch.  As Low watched them from a corner, he analyzed each member of the band.  One member that drew his attention was, strangely, the bassist.  As the vocalist and guitarist drew all the applause and more than a few dreamy stares from the fillies, the bassist simply stood in the back, seemingly unaffected and disconnected from it all.  However, he wasn't.  If the percussion was the heartbeat, the rhythm was the pressure driving the band forward.  You could build a guitar solo off of a beat, but without rhythm, there was no power, no variety, no force.  Even though he was out-shined by everyone else, he didn't seem to mind; he knew the debt that was owed him, but he held that against no pony.  He was perfectly content to live the rest of his life in obscurity if it meant that the music might thrive.  Whether or not the bassist realized this too or had simply picked up the bass because his band needed a bassist didn't matter to Low; he finally knew his place in life and what he wanted to do.  The rest of the day, he noticed surprised looks from his classmates, and it wasn't until he got home that his parents pointed out his new cutie mark, a bass clef.
  That summer, he got a job working at a local music shop.  Saving up his bits, he bought a beat-up bass guitar and aging amp.  A coworker noticed him struggling to play it with hooves, and taught him to use his magic to create a hand, complete with fingers.  In the following years, he would improve his technique, upgrading his equipment and purchasing effects with the bits he earned.
  Low's dream to date has been to play in a band at a legitimate gig.  However, every time the opportunity has presented itself, old demons constantly draw him away.  Convinced that he is inherently annoying, Low seems content to simply sit and wait for someone to come by and initiate contact.

Spoiler: Theme • show

Name: Pure Duty
Age: 18
Race: Unicorn
Gender: Stallion
Body Color: White
Mane Color: Black
Cutie Mark: Broken Sword
Talents/Strengths: Very talented public speaker, charismatic, fluent in the Stalliongrad dialect
Weaknesses: Not a fighter, would rather solve problems diplomatically

Spoiler: Bio • show

  Lord Pure Duty was born the fourth and last foal of Count Earnest Duty of Novgarron, patriarch of house Abyazannost of Stalliongrad.  Watching his father and eldest brother discussing politics, Lord Pure dreamed of the day that he would also take part in such affairs.
  One day, while walking around town with his cossack bodyguard, Loyal Ward, a commoner spat on him as he passed by.  Leaping to his defense, Loyal Ward fell upon the peasant and proceeded to beat him until Lord Pure dragged him off.  Surprising both of them, instead of demanding an apology from the peasant, Lord Pure apologized, himself, and asked why the peasant had spit on him.  After listening intently to the stallion tell of the hardships his family had been going through, Pure again did something nopony present expected any noble to do:  he hugged him.  After explaining to him that he would take up the subject with his father, both parties walked away happy.  It wasn't until he went to bathe later that night that Pure finally noticed his cutie mark.
  However, his most trying moment came upon his 18th birthday, when he received a letter from Countess Morning Snow of  Maremansk announcing her desire to enter into a betrothal with him.  Desperate for an alliance with her house, Count Earnest agreed, and Pure went to Maremansk to visit his soon to be wife.  When he arrived, however, he discovered that the Countess was a widow old enough to be his mother, not to mention that her motivation for marrying him had naught to do with want of an alliance and even less for love.  Realizing this, he begged his father to nullify the marriage contract, to which his father regretfully refused.  Scared for his future, Pure ran away with the help of Loyal Ward, spurring Countess Morning Snow to launch a hunt for him.  He eventually found his way to Pascalo Beach near Ponyville, where he was taken in by Commander Checkmate and Captain Grey Scale of the Royal Guard.  Revealing to them the position that he was in, both of them agreed to help protect him.  When the Countess finally arrived, both sides tried to resolve this diplomatically, only for negotiations to break down.  After an unsuccessful raid on the house, Countess Morning Snow was taken into custody for attempted ponycide and banished to the moon.  With the marriage contract finally nullified, Lord Pure returned to Stalliongrad, counting the two royal guards as his newest and most trusted friends.

Spoiler: Theme • show

[Luminescence]

Oh it seems I've come upon a batch of good OC's so far today. Goodie!

Low Key
     Firstly, oh the puns! Secondly, this character is actually rather well put together. The color pallet, from what I can tell, is in a softer muted wash, which fits his personality to a pin. The enrapture with music is something I find very good for characters, but somewhat difficult to pull off, so be careful. The backstory, while a bit sad, is good! It is solid and well defining in the important aspects of his personality, and what his goals are.

However, I do have a question. It was said within his backstory that the reason for most of his alienation was from a rather forceful personality. Then for the rest of the story, his forceful personality vanishes. While it probably is still there, could you give us a concrete example? It is nit-picky I know, but  useful to know.

Pure Duty
     Interesting. A nobility character that isn't a absolute dunce! Hmm, these are rare. The color pallet is rather simple, but it was probably meant to be striking. That will end up variably depending how you spin it. So, he has a talent for public relations, and ran away due to forced marriage. Hmm.

I wish I could say more, either for or against him, but he seems too plain in most aspects, so I can't. Not particularly bad, but not all together quite good. He simply is. Hmm.

*Shrug* He works and isn't bad, so he is good in my books!


Regardless, thanks for some nice OC's!

[hazardtime]

I saw you commenting on other OCs, and I just want to first say thank you for your constructive criticism!  You really put a lot of detail and thought into your reviews and it really gives the OC creator a good idea of what they need to improve upon.

Low Key
     Firstly, oh the puns! Secondly, this character is actually rather well put together. The color pallet, from what I can tell, is in a softer muted wash, which fits his personality to a pin. The enrapture with music is something I find very good for characters, but somewhat difficult to pull off, so be careful. The backstory, while a bit sad, is good! It is solid and well defining in the important aspects of his personality, and what his goals are.

However, I do have a question. It was said within his backstory that the reason for most of his alienation was from a rather forceful personality. Then for the rest of the story, his forceful personality vanishes. While it probably is still there, could you give us a concrete example? It is nit-picky I know, but  useful to know.

Low Key was the first OC I created, and when designing his palette I focused less on using colors that went well together and instead looked up colors that described his personality.  Grey, off-white, and blue all reflect his reserved nature and knack for deep, intellectual thought.  His backstory is loosely based on my life experiences, but with the tragedy amplified and cranked up to 11 (Ha, music puns!).  I agree that "music ponies" are becoming a bit of a cliche, but I felt that it made a lot more sense for a character as dark and traumatized as his to gravitate towards music as well as his choice of instrument.  As for his personality, I could probably go more into depth about exactly what Low Key was like before his revelation, but afterwords his personality changes and he learns to repress himself.  I loosely based this on "The Wall" by Pink Floyd, where the main character built an emotional wall around himself in order to prevent not only others from harming him, but also to prevent himself from harming others.

Pure Duty
     Interesting. A nobility character that isn't a absolute dunce! Hmm, these are rare. The color pallet is rather simple, but it was probably meant to be striking. That will end up variably depending how you spin it. So, he has a talent for public relations, and ran away due to forced marriage. Hmm.

I wish I could say more, either for or against him, but he seems too plain in most aspects, so I can't. Not particularly bad, but not all together quite good. He simply is. Hmm.

*Shrug* He works and isn't bad, so he is good in my books!

I based the color palette on the old Russian imperial flag.  As for his talents, he is a very gregarious pony who simply wanted to get out more.  Of course, he didn't realize until too late that "participating in feudal politics" was no game, especially when you end up getting burnt.  The goal I had with designing him was to create a noble who was sick of the feudal system and wanted to make a change and help the small folk.  In other words, a "noble" noble.

Again, thank you very much for your constructive criticism!