My OC's

[RuneAlchemist]

Note: All my OC's exist within the same universe in my headcannon xP
Apologies if it doesn't fit within an RP. I can always change it a little~
Also, if you want to draw one of them, Go ahead, I don't mind! I have no artistic talent and could use a new picture of most of them xP

Just tell me you did it and show me~

~RUNE~

Spoiler: show

An old friend of mine did this for me quite awhile ago. We haven't really spoken in awhile simply due to life and the fact I don't really do DeviantART stuff much, but yes, she did this as a commission for me~

Rune

Gender: Stallion/Male

Race: Unicorn

Age: 22

Cutie Mark: Magic Circle
Special Talent: Enchanting things.
Explanation: Giving mundane items a magical property. Could be used for a lot of prank and gag items. Like a cupcake that teleported a different location every time something touched it. Or more practically, could be used to make an item waterproof. A versatile field of magic, but it can have rather humorous effects if you get the enchantment wrong. I.E. teleporting cupcake. His shop has quite a few of these little gags.

Personality: The first impression most get of Rune, is that he's rather serious and doesn't really do what most would consider 'fun'. It is partly true, He usually wears constant slight frown with a somewhat bored look, and can come off as a bit aloof, especially in the rather formal way he tends to talk - a habit he's trying to break himself of since he dislikes it. However, habits learned over the course of ones foalhood tend to be hard to break. He can be a bit hard to warm up to, considering all of this. He in fact does like parties though, he's just not as expressive about it as others are and has a fairly good sense of humor contrary to popular belief.

Once somepony gets to know him a little, they'll find he's not as aloof as he appears, and in fact detests ponies that are overly arrogant and consider themselves better than others. He just really doesn't get along with them at all. He knows this, and for the most part tries to steer clear of the ponies he knows he would end up fighting with, though if he must cross paths with them he tries to keep things civil, if not friendly.

A quirk of his, well, maybe not a quirk - but he tends to get...excited when tinkering with enchantments and other things, and when studying magic items. Any highlight of his day would be if somepony brought in a magic item to his shop to have it evaluated, or if someone asks to have something enchanted.

He is incredibly intelligent, and often spends free time reading, writing, or tinkering with something from his shop.

Biography: Born into a wealthy Canterlot family, Rune had it fairly easy in life growing up. He was given the best education money could buy, and anything else he could possibly want. He was one of the first of the foals growing up to earn his cutie mark. This, would have turned some into a spoiled brat. Rune however, felt incredibly bored by all of it. Soon he slowly began to dislike most of the pony nobility and their ways. So, instead of taking over his fathers business, he joined the guard just to spite his father.

He enjoyed every minute of his life in the guard for a time. He was one of the better guards ponies. Not the best, but he was fairly good at it. He did what any guards pony did. Escort the princess, protect the castle, patrol the streets. Whatever it was he was needed for. Soon though, he began to slowly get bored, or dissatisfied with it as well. So he left, and that was that.

Soon after, he opened his own little store in Canterlot where he sold magical trinkets and items. His shop has been fairly successful. He sells a variety of magic items, some for harmless pranks, others for more practical use. Does specialty work from time to time

~FLURRY~

Spoiler: show

Done by another friend of mine. She doesn't really do art or vectors for most people, and she doesn't have a DeviantART or something, so you probably won't find her xP

Flurry

Gender: Mare/Female

Race: Pegasus/Windigo hybrid. (how's that possible? Well, magic. No, seriously though, I created her on a forum for more mature RP's, I can't exactly get into it without break a few rules I don't think.)

Age: 20

Cutie Mark: Snowflakes blowing on a cold wind
Special Talent: ...Cold stuff. She likes winter and cold stuff, alright? because she's a cold hearted ice-queen Supposedly good with snow clouds and that kind of thing.

Personality: Most ponies tend to give Flurry a bit of a wide berth, simply from the way she normally carries herself. She usually wears a scowl or a smug smirk. Outwardly, she's a jerk and not to nice to ponies. She often makes fun others faults either through rude comments or other methods. Needless to say, she's not a generally nice pony to most and doesn't have many friends. This, only really makes her act like more of a jerk.

This 'tough' act is just that, an act, for the most part. Though she tries to hide it, she is incredibly clumsy and not all that smart. She detests these two traits of hers, and often thinks the universe is just being mean to her just for a laugh. She is incredibly sensitive about her own faults, especially whenever she fails at something. This is a trait of hers most will pick up on if they would only look past the obvious, and not judge a book by its cover, so they say.

Biography: Flurry's History doesn't begin with her, but rather, her father. Her father was a archaeologist who was studying ancient myths, ruins, and other things on the far reaches of Equestria that even time had almost forgotten. He was fairly good at his job as well, and uncovered quite a few long forgotten relics and ruins. It was during one of these trips to the far north, past even the Crystal Empire that he made the discovery of his life. An ancient ruin, entirely frozen and covered in a thick layer of ice.

No one is quite sure what happened in there, but the entire team went missing. When they sent in a search party, all they found was the ruins. The team seemed to have completely vanished. With this information, the ruin was sealed and told to never be opened again.

A week later, somepony dropped off three foals at an orphanage with just a name tag for each of them. Of course, these two events seem completely random, and connecting them at all would be a long shot.

One of these foals however, was Flurry, along with her brother and sister. The three of them were raised in the orphanage, though Flurry was hardly happy there. She was often overshadowed by her sister and brother. Her sister, of which was one of the more popular foals of their age. She was intelligent, and most would say incredibly cute as well. Her brother, while not as popular overshadowed her in a different way. He was strong, and good at most physical things and kept a level head.

Flurry, got the short straw when it came to things like this. She was neither intelligent, nor athletic. She was clumsy and awkward in most situations, and was often picked on by the other foals. Her siblings tried to help, but eventually they both got adopted, and had to leave her. One day, she had enough, and finally snapped, and got into a fight with another pony. From here, it only got worse.

Eventually she left the orphanage in attempted to make her own way in life, it ended up not going so well though. Her bad attitude she developed over the years made most ponies wary of her, and even when she thought she was being perfectly nice she always ended up insulting some pony or being mean. She got by thanks to the help of the only pony who currently calls her a friend.

So, to answer a few questions. Yes, She's part Windigo, but doesn't entirely know it. As stated above, I can't really go into details, at least I can't without breaking a few site rules on violence and keeping things kid friendly since I made her on a Forum made for more mature RP's ages ago. I might (big emphasis on the might) Try to find a way to make it more kid-friendly, but I don't make any promises. If you really want to know, I could send you a PM, if you don't mind that kind of thing. I kinda made an attempt at it, as you can probably make an educated guess to get the gist of what happened to the research team. And Yes, her brother and sister are ones as well. She doesn't really have any special abilities other than a resistance to extreme cold, and the ability to effect the temperature somewhat.

Here's the thing I did for her from the'How well do you know your OC' thread.Take a look, if your're interested~

~ASTER~

Spoiler: show

Appearance: In most forms she takes, she has Light blue coat with a white, somewhat messy and unkempt mane with a plum colored streak running through it. She has dark blue eyes. This is true for her Unicorn, Earth Pony, and Pegasus forms. It rarely varies unless she has need for it too.

Gender: Identifies as Female/mare
Race: Changeling
Cutiemark: An unknown golden Flower, the stem being crossed with a paintbrush in a X shape.
Special Talent: Well, she's a changeling. She doesn't really have a talent per say, but she is quite good at painting and Illusory Magic.  Quite good at 'reading' emotions, she can sense quite easily when some pony is mad, upset, wary, etc.

Personality: Aster, despite being a changeling is very friendly to most. She has an almost insatiable curiosity about anything and everything. It has gotten her into more than a little trouble in most situations. In fact, its the reason she had to flee the hive. She cares deeply for most ponies, especially those she calls friend - which is pretty much everyone. She loves painting and other artsy things, and has a talent for painting herself, a hobby she picked up while studying Illusory Magic.

Bio: Aster has always been an odd little Changeling, from the moment she was born. She always felt...out of place, among other changelings. She managed to keep her feelings secret to most, though, and was a successful member of the changeling community, and rising through the changeling ranks to be one of the queens top changelings in charge of finding new sources of love to feed off of.

It didn't last long, however. Soon she began to abandon her posts, show up late, and other things that the Hive and the Queen looked down on. She began to study ponies, converse with them and become 'friends' with them. This was unheard of to the hive, and very much frowned upon. After a brief investigation, they decided to get rid of her. She managed to escape, but not before being badly injured. She flew for a long time, before passing out in Canterlot due to exhaustion and hunger.

When she woke next, she was being helped by an Earth Pony covered in the most beautiful flowers she had ever seen. Somehow, she wasn't hungry any more. The Earth Pony, Autumn Floret, and her became great friends. Autumn even gave her   a new name, Aster.

The two lived in peace for a time, before somepony found out about Aster being a Changeling. She was taken by the guards, but Autumn would have none of it. Aster's not entirely sure what happened, but Autumn apparently convinced them to release her. She's now a full resident of Equestria, though every once in awhile a Guard stops by to check in on things.

Here's the 'How well do you know your OC' I did with her.

~Autumn Floret~

Spoiler: show

~WIP~

[sfg]

Talk to me Rune, what kind of enchantments do we speak of?

Also for Flurry, watch out ponies, we have another bad flank.

[RuneAlchemist]

Also for Flurry, watch out ponies, we have another bad flank.

I'm sorry, are there a lot of those? Now I feel kind of Unoriginal 
Though, I don't feel as though Flurry is a 'Bad Flank' myself. She's just plain mean, at least to start with.

Talk to me Rune, what kind of enchantments do we speak of?

As for Enchantments, its a bit complicated.

They can be anything, really. They can imbue a common item with an extraordinary ability. Such as imbuing something with the ability to heal the wearer. Of course, such a thing does come at the cost of the wearer - it would drain their physical stamina. Or perhaps making a ring have the ability to make the user invisible for a short period of time as long as they remained relatively quiet.

Eh, maybe those examples aren't so practical though.

For instance, he could make something water proof through the use of enchanting. He could say, make a magic lock that opened only with a specific magic key or something.

I'm not sure if I'm explaining it well enough, but its a rather versatile field. Its not something that can be done at the wave of the horn however, it takes time and practice and could go wrong with some...eh, humorous results.

I'll try to update them later, when I have more time, maybe I could have a better explanation for you then.

[sfg]

Also for Flurry, watch out ponies, we have another bad flank.

I'm sorry, are there a lot of those? Now I feel kind of Unoriginal 
Though, I don't feel as though Flurry is a 'Bad Flank' myself. She's just plain mean, at least to start with.

I wouldn't know if there are a lot of them, it's just something I say based off a quote I found on the internet somewhere.

Don't worry about not being original, I sure as heck am not.

[RuneAlchemist]

I wouldn't know if there are a lot of them, it's just something I say based off a quote I found on the internet somewhere.

Don't worry about not being original, I sure as heck am not.

Hey, I like being Original, its one reason I made Flurry what she is. And by that, I mean you should probably re-read through their profiles. I had some free time since a few of my classes got canceled, so I was able to update them to a standard I feel is good enough.

I would like someones opinion on Flurry, mainly on what she is. Would that work, you think? Yea or nay? People have never said anything about it, they seem entirely neutral on the matter even though she's been around since the beginning of 2013 xP

Also, I need food. I is hungry. Back whenever.

[sfg]

If that's what you want, I'll give my full length review now.

Flurry's back story fits very well with her personality, and gives her a lot of room to grow in RPs or fanfiction, though the antisocial behavior she has might make it somewhat hard, seeing how every other pony is more on the happy happy joy joy side, not to also mention Friendship is Magic is based on being happy happy joy joy with friends, then again contradictory antagonists do help develop an interesting storyline. I've only seen one other person on this site who might come close enough to having the constantly angry and bully like behavior within their OC, that pony being a pegasus named Doodlebug. So being original? Yes, I will say she's full head on original. Also, being part wendigo? That's a first. I'm ready to guess the biology helps influence the cold behavior here.

Rune's story on the other hand? Not so much, but his personal ability of enchantments is the first I've ever seen on this site, no all over the Internet. Other than that, I can't think of anything else right now.

In short for both of them. Yay! I see that you've put a lot of time in effort in both of your characters and I'm sorry if I offended you in any way with any of my posts.

[RuneAlchemist]

Haha, Yeah, I'll be honest, Rune, though I made him a bit after myself isn't one of my more interesting characters. I guess its because I myself am not too interesting of a person 

No, seriously, though, its probably because he's literally the first OC I made. Ever, at all. Back when MLP was still a new thing. I had no idea what I was doing then, honestly. I love him all the same though, probably from Nostalgia and all the shenanigans he's gotten himself into. I've been thinking about re-doing his whole personality and background, but to be honest, I'm a bit hesitant to do so because I'd feel bad xP

He usually takes a support or NPC role in most things, or he's that voice of reason that gets dragged into crazy situations by his friends. So I guess I haven't really had a reason to change him up either. Maybe I should change that so I can make him a bit more interesting...hrm, maybe if I have some more time.


As for Flurry, I'm glad you like her. I really put a lot of work into her when I first made her. She's my baby~

Sadly, I don't get to use her much because Pony RP's tend to die rather quickly on the site I usually frequent, which is one reason I decided to finally just quit stalking the game and actually post on the forums here. I really want a Pony RP fix, don't really care at this point, I want ponies darn it xP

As for the happy-happy joy joy thing, I think that's also an important reason we have antagonist like characters. Conflict is a major part of RPs, whether it be through antagonist characters or through other things. Also, as you said FiM is about the magic of friendship, so what better way to show that than by being friendly to a character that is usually mean, and showing them that they don't have to be that way? It would be hard at first, yeah, but since when is easy fun?

I'm actually thinking of getting back into writing, and making a story with her and her siblings.

Thanks for the critique, by the way~
And please. it takes more than a  few words to offend me. 
I always welcome criticism. Unless your a meanie pants about it.

EDIT: Also, glad you like Rune's special talent. He may not be entirely perfect, but I've always been told his talent is the most original part of him.

[Gracie Sky]

I'll be critiquing Flurry now. I see you have a lot of other characters, and if you want them critiqued as well, feel free to ask.

You have a clear cut Tsundere character here. Quite frankly, there aren't enough tsundere type OCs around, although that's probably for the best. This archtype needs to be done correctly, or else she loses her credibility as an authentic character.

Now the question is if Flurry was done correctly and what could be done better.

As far as her personality goes, you give barely enough detail to establish her as an outwardly cold character. Mind you, not a lot of detail is needed, but I think it would be helpful to be a bit more specific. First off, it would be wise not to state twice in the same paragraph that she is not a nice pony. On that subject, be sure she's actually a jerk and not just defensive/untrusting. Jerks start or looks for trouble, while the character I'm thinking she is just hates being interacted with due to how much she has been teased in the past and does her best to discourage others from talking to her. Secondly, perhaps you could expound on her flaws, telling us how she is clumsy or unintelligent. Those two adjectives are subjective, so an example for us to compare with our experiences would be beneficial.

On her backstory, you explain that she had overshadowed by her siblings and her flaws caused her to be picked on. That would help explain why she didn't make friends, but it sounds like only one half of the story. There MUST'VE been something she was better at than her peers, but you state no such strength (unless you purposely avoided stating what she's good at). I mention this because I won't believe that there weren't any other ponies in that orphanage who could relate to Flurry and in some way stand up for her. Yes, I understand like her siblings, such friends have the possibility of being adopted, but I think it's worth mentioning that her early life wasn't purely tragic.

I'd also like to know about this one pony who calls her friend, through her defensive exterior.

You need to go into more detail about her cutie mark. I know nothing about it, save it has something to do with coldness and maybe clouds. What exactly is her special talent? How did she discover it? What practical applications does it have in her every day life? Of course, the way you word it, it sounds like you know what her talent is, but don't want to reveal it quite yet. If that's the case, disregard this paragraph.

Now, about this Wendigo business... I don't personally mind that she's half Wendigo, but you shouldn't make her half Wendigo just to make her half Wendigo (for the purposes of being unique). There needs to be a significance to being half Wendigo or else there's really no good reason to bring this fact up. You mention she is resistant to cold, but nopony knows if that's some racial trait or if it has something to do with her special talent. I recommend you invest on developing the impact being half Wendigo has in her life, otherwise it's just a statistic.

To emphasize, she's pretty stable as a character, but I sense a great deal of pessimism in the approach of displaying her characteristics. I don't recall reading a single positive thing about her, which puts her in a darker shade of light than I think she deserves to be in. I'd like to see some good things about her along with the bad, but not just the bad.

Oh, attempted suicide. No. That's the only thing about her that could never be seriously attempted and stay accurate to the show's themes. If you are not aiming to be show accurate, disregard this paragraph.

[RuneAlchemist]

See, this is the kind of criticism I like~
Sorry it took me so long to get back to you Gracie, I've been rather busy lately.

*ahem* anyways, to address your points

Now, about this Wendigo business... I don't personally mind that she's half Wendigo, but you shouldn't make her half Wendigo just to make her half Wendigo (for the purposes of being unique). There needs to be a significance to being half Wendigo or else there's really no good reason to bring this fact up. You mention she is resistant to cold, but nopony knows if that's some racial trait or if it has something to do with her special talent. I recommend you invest on developing the impact being half Wendigo has in her life, otherwise it's just a statistic.

About her Windigo part. You may wish to know that she and her siblings were created to be antagonists of a more mature RP, and more recently a protagonist of a little story involving them that I'm slowly working on - and as I stated above, I can't really go into detail with them too much because the rules on this site regarding violence and things are rather strict. I tried to make her more kid-friendly for here, but I had to cut out a lot of things.

Which is why it may seem like the 'Wendigo' part of her is actually a small part. That part of her, as SFG pointed out above I believe, has a major influence on her personality. As we know, Windigoes feed off of hate, fighting, and other negative emotions, and tend to cause such traits in ponies to surface more, which is also why other ponies seemed to pick on her more as a filly. Her brother and sister were immune to it, because they are both as well - Flurry just has more windigo to her than they do, she was the final 'experiment', or the last created by the ponies that created them. Glacial Hail (Brother), and Frost Flare (Sister), Windigo side is less pronounced, with Flare's being stronger than Hail's, as he was the first attempt, and Flare was the second.

Point being, its not just 'there' it actually has influenced her life to a rather large extent.

As far as her personality goes, you give barely enough detail to establish her as an outwardly cold character. Mind you, not a lot of detail is needed, but I think it would be helpful to be a bit more specific. First off, it would be wise not to state twice in the same paragraph that she is not a nice pony. On that subject, be sure she's actually a jerk and not just defensive/untrusting. Jerks start or looks for trouble, while the character I'm thinking she is just hates being interacted with due to how much she has been teased in the past and does her best to discourage others from talking to her. Secondly, perhaps you could expound on her flaws, telling us how she is clumsy or unintelligent. Those two adjectives are subjective, so an example for us to compare with our experiences would be beneficial.

Did I do that in the same paragraph? Come on Rune, that's like writing 101 you should know not to do that. *facehoof* I swear, I'm an utter moron sometimes. I'll need to edit that.

More seriously though, Her flaws. Clumsy as in she inevitable breaks anything delicate she touches, and tends to get into accidents easily. (Perhaps I should say she just has continually bad luck xP)

Unintelligent - perhaps saying she's not a very clever pony would work better, and was a bit slow to pick up on things as a filly. She's grown out of the slow part, somewhat, but she's still not all that 'bright'. She understands simple things, trying to explain more than one thing to her at a time would cause it to go in one ear and out the other.

Her 'jerk' attitude - now, yes, she's a 'jerk'. She tends to avoid ponies for this reason, because she'll end up causing trouble, and despite her attitude, doesn't like causing trouble. (Unfortunately, the universe hates her and makes her interact with other ponies on a regular basis xP)

On her backstory, you explain that she had overshadowed by her siblings and her flaws caused her to be picked on. That would help explain why she didn't make friends, but it sounds like only one half of the story. There MUST'VE been something she was better at than her peers, but you state no such strength (unless you purposely avoided stating what she's good at). I mention this because I won't believe that there weren't any other ponies in that orphanage who could relate to Flurry and in some way stand up for her. Yes, I understand like her siblings, such friends have the possibility of being adopted, but I think it's worth mentioning that her early life wasn't purely tragic.

As I stated above, Windigoes feed off of hate and fighting, and when they're around tend to make these traits more pronounced in ponies. As a filly, she didn't really have 'control' over it that well. Even as a full grown mare, she doesn't entirely have complete control over it - mainly because she doesn't even know she's one herself.

As for being completely tragic. Hm...well, It was just that. If I make it not tragic, then that would probably change her personality to being a jerk. Perhaps you could give me an idea or something? I can understand that the tragic childhood with no friends thing is probably over done, but I can't really think of anything that would fit here.

I'd also like to know about this one pony who calls her friend, through her defensive exterior.

Ah, right. I forgot to put that. It's Rune. I tend to make my pony OC's in twos. (Kinda odd, I guess, but I do xP) They were created roughly at the same time. Rune before her by a week or so. (he was going to be one of the protagonists in that RP I mentioned)

You need to go into more detail about her cutie mark. I know nothing about it, save it has something to do with coldness and maybe clouds. What exactly is her special talent? How did she discover it? What practical applications does it have in her every day life? Of course, the way you word it, it sounds like you know what her talent is, but don't want to reveal it quite yet. If that's the case, disregard this paragraph.

Disregard a paragraph? Never!

*ahem* Yes, I know what its for. It just marks her as a 'Hybrid' really. Her sister and brother also have ice themed cutie marks. I suppose it'd make it easy for her to get a job working with Snow Clouds in Cloudsdale, but she's never really been able to keep a stable job.

That said, I forgot to add that she really loves snow - which also led her to getting her cutie mark.

To emphasize, she's pretty stable as a character, but I sense a great deal of pessimism in the approach of displaying her characteristics. I don't recall reading a single positive thing about her, which puts her in a darker shade of light than I think she deserves to be in. I'd like to see some good things about her along with the bad, but not just the bad.

Good...Good....Hrm. Perhaps I do need to add something. Flurry isn't supposed to be a bright character though, so I'll work on it when I get some time.

---

Alright, I think I got everything, but I tend to be a bit forgetful so maybe I didn't.
I'll try to update her soon, and try to make her seem less 'tragic', but I'm not sure I can without messing with her entire character too much.

I think most issues may have been me simply forgetting to put something xP

[Gracie Sky]

I should probably retract a few of the things I said in light of the fact that her half Wendigo side is the underlining factor behind why so many ponies are uncharacteristically unfriendly twoards her. I understood what Wendigos were and what they were capable of, but I failed to consider the idea that their "unfriendly aura" was something they had no control over or were possessed by half Wendigos. It does put a lot of things into perspective.

You might want to hint a bit more about her half Wendigo side being responisble for her troubles, because I only put the pieces together after you pointed it out. Of course, if you make it too obvious, it might ruin the surprise... if it is indeed designed to be a surprise.

One thing I might suggest, though, is to have her "unfriendly aura" be something that triggers when she gets upset. Being only half Wendigo, perhaps it would be best if her aura was not as potent or not as easy to use as a full Wendigo. It should follow a different set of rules, since there's pony genetics in there too probably altering or interfering with something.

[RuneAlchemist]

You might want to hint a bit more about her half Wendigo side being responisble for her troubles, because I only put the pieces together after you pointed it out. Of course, if you make it too obvious, it might ruin the surprise... if it is indeed designed to be a surprise.

Well, she doesn't really even know she's one herself most of the time, unless I state otherwise. So it would indeed be a surprise to ponies, I think.

One thing I might suggest, though, is to have her "unfriendly aura" be something that triggers when she gets upset. Being only half Wendigo, perhaps it would be best if her aura was not as potent or not as easy to use as a full Wendigo. It should follow a different set of rules, since there's pony genetics in there too probably altering or interfering with something.

And yes, its supposed to work differently from Windigoes. I'm just a forgetful pony who tends to forget to write things down xP
It's less pronounced now that she's grown, but when she was a filly, as I said, she had little control over it. As a full grown mare, it only really effects her if she's legitimately angry, upset, or feeling any other strong negative emotion. Which tends to be quite a bit more often than your average pony, unfortunately.

I should probably update her soon as to clarify a few points of yours xP